If it was you, Mr. Racehorse, admit it

In case you missed Graham Norton’s show last night, our favourite sport presenter Clare Balding was talking about racehorse names that sound a bit rude if you say them quickly. Did you ever hear a horse racing commentator who didn’t talk quickly?

My favourite on the night was Hoof Hearted. Yes, that was a real horse’s name. Don’t believe be, watch this video.

Clare also mentioned a horse named Oil Beef Hooked. Presumably it’s owner was Irish.

Others that did nor make the show include: cunning stunt, hardawn, shiela blige, far canal fire, Wearthefoxhat.

Racist Tits?

Don’t you think this racism in sport business has gone too far. White footballers can’t tackle a black player in case he accuses them of racism for taking the ball off them, English Rugby fans have been criticised for waving giant Leeks at Welsh fans during an international match.

Beyond that, a trawl of the web reveals millions of articles about how terrible and repugnant racism in sport is but very few reported incidences and those that are documented are usually trivial in nature and relate to football.

About a million outraged articles were written by left leaning commentators on one incident in which Spanish football fans made monkey noises at a black player in the England team. WTF, nobody died. Where is the media outrage at the dozens, maybe hundreds of Syriac Christians being murdered every day by those righteous and justified Syrian freedom fighters that our western leaders are so keen to support.Where is the outrage at the Hindus being tortured and killed in Indonesia, a racist persecution that has been going on for decades.

But we hear little of this. A few Spanish chavs make monkey noises at at a football match or a white player, speaking in a voice so low nobody can hear him, says something a bit nasty to a black opponent and all hell breaks loose.

Well the scourge of imagined racism has broken out in womens tennis now. 22-year-old Danish player Caroline Wozniacki, stuffed towels down her kit to mimic the voluptuous figure of Serena Williams and walked out on the court to laughter during her exhibition match against Maria Sharapova in Sao Paulo. Now Wozniacki, whose boyfriend golfer Rory McIlroy was in the crowd, has now been accused of racism by some observers whose job is to be offended on behalf of people who can’t be arsed themselves.

Study the picture below and if you think it is racism rather than a bit of harmless silliness, go to America. There’s a job in the Obama administration waiting for you as a professional offence taker on behalf of The Prez Dude.


No Conspiracy Is To Big To Conceal

Yesterday my little lass Cleo who is all growed up now and works as a sarcasticist for Boggart Blog posted an article about the Lance Armstrong scandal which touched on the idea that all sport is corrupt, competitors can only win if they are drug cheats and like Jimmy Savile, athletes have been at it for decades.

Apologists for everything, those people who believe the government is really our best friend and we should never question anybody in authority because the elite are superior beings and are incapable of malfeasance, trotted out their usual defence that such a conspiracy would require the complicity of many people to keep it secret.

Also yesterday I looked into a thread on an American site in which the televised debate between Vice President Biden and VP candidate Ryan was being discussed. The most colourful sub thread focused on the fact that recovering alcoholic Joe Biden laughed out loud (yes LOLed :)) ) when Ryan mentioned that the government had failed to act on intelligence reports that a terror attack on the US Consulate in Benghazi, Libya was imminent.

“BWAH HA HA HA HAARRRR,” guffawed Dr. Evil Biden, “You don’t believe that bunch of malarkey do you? There were no such intelligence reports.”

Myself and another Englishman, Graham Leah had to point out that there were, provided by British Intelligence agents and even if The White House had lost the documents or deleted the emails, our removing British diplomatic personnel from Benghazi and asking the Americans to look after our stuff out to have been a bit of a clue.

Graham and myself were surprised by the response, not the hostile replies from followers of the Obamessiah cult but other comments from more level headed people saying they knew nothing of the British pullout and U S media were still reporting that the Al Qaeda sponsored attack on the embassy building, which was a carefully planned operation that had taken weeks to prepare, had been nothing more than a spontaneous protest against a home made video on You Tube which said some uncomplimentary things about Islam.

Just think, to keep from the American public such a sensational news item of global interest would require a conspiracy involving the whole of the American government including both elected representatives and professional civil and military servants and the whole of broadcast and print media.

Compared to that covering up drug cheating in sport or paedophile rings in the BBC would be a doddle.

Never trust authority and, as The Buddha advised, believe nothing unless it complies with your own experience and instincts.

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Coackroach Eating Champion Dies.

For many years Boggart Blog has been established as the news organisation that reports the stuff you really want to know about, like Tommy Cooper appearing in a pie or the launch of a degree course in Macology, the science of burger flipping. We also shun the boring mainstream sports and report on activities in which the Corinthian spirit still prevails. We are the only British news site to bring you reports of the World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships and the World Hot Dog Eating Championship And now we are pround to be the only British news blog to carry on our front page a report on the World Cockroach Eating Championship which was held last week in Florida. And it shows the willingness of contestants in fringe sports to put their lives on the line in a way that the big money stars of football, golf, tennis or tiddlywinks never would.

About 30 contestants ate the insects during Friday night’s contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach, about 40 miles north of Miami. The grand prize was a python.

The winner of the main cockroach-eating contest, Edward Archbold, died shortly after downing dozens of the live bugs as well as worms.

Archbold, 32, became ill shortly after the competition ended. He collapsed in front of the shop as crowds were making their way home, according to a Broward Sheriff’s Office statement released on Monday.

The Champ was taken to hospital where he was D O A. Authorities are waiting for results of an post-mortem examination to determine a cause of death. Eating cockroaches is a likely candidate.

Amid calls from the Politically Correct Though Police for all sports involving eating live animals to be banned and for cockroaches to be given equal rights with humans the organisers were forced to defend their venture.

“We suspect foul play, there are no lengths to which these equal rights people will not go in order to stop others having fun,” a spokesman said.

“Unless the roaches were contaminated with some bacteria or other pathogens, I don’t think cockroaches would be unsafe to eat,” said Michael Adams, professor of entomology at the University of California at Riverside, adding weight to suspicions.

“Some people do have allergies to roaches but there are no toxins in roaches or related insects.”

None of the other contestants became ill, the sheriff’s office said. “We find this unbelievable and suspect some kind of cover up is going on. What normal person would not be ill after eating live cockroaches?

Health Shock! Scientists Discover Coffee Contains Addictive Drug

Formula 1 Testosterone Deficiency

I don’t ofen comment on Formula One, that being the territory of my little sister fatsally. To be honest I don’t really take much notice of the sport, not since that bloke called Montoya retired because he, always being liabale to kill himself or several other people made it a bit interesting.

The result of today’s race caught my eye however so I looked how our lads were doing in the drivers’ championship.

And then something else caught my eye. Two of the drivers are asociated with a team called Cosworth HRT.

HRT I thought? The last thing I’d expect a Formula One driver to need is hormone replacement therapy.

New Slogan Shows G4S Ready For Olympics

There has been a lot of criticism of G$S over the weekend after the admission that some personnel hired to privide outsourced coppering services at the pointless vanity project great sporting festival could not speak English.

The management of G4S have hit back at critics, insisting all security officers in public facing roles have been thoroughly vetted.

The firm then proudly announced its committment to total security by having the team leader of its newly formed terrorist – watch squad, Ibrahim Bin Laden, hold a scimitar aloft and shout out the new corporate slogan “Death to the infidel.”

Wimbledon and The Role Of Snobbery In British Sport

Today’s blog comes from Guest Blogger The Hon. Tosser Olde – Phart, secretary of The Society For Preserving Snobbery In Sport.

Egad! A british chappie is in the final of the Gentleman’s singles at Wimbledon. Damn poor show in my opinion, this Murray fellow is certainly not a gentleman, one of his grandfathers was a professional footballer. Now some of you might be thinking “well so what, it’s better than all those Froggies, Dagoes, Yanks and damned colonials who usually win it. But is that so?

There are some of us who are still aware that the class system is the only thing that holds Britain together and so if we are to have a winner of Wimbledon it is more important that he is the right sort of chap than that he is British.

And as I say there are no gentlemen in the sport any more, the damned ruffians are all in it for the money. They are professionals. A true gentleman would never sully himself with tawdry commnercialism.

To make matters worse, the damned fellow is a Jocko. Who decided to allow Scots into the All England club. Is nothing sacred?

It is seventy four years since we last had a British chappie in the final. Bunnay Awsten was the last and I have to say things have been allowed to slide a lot since then. Names are important for a start. Bunny was a proper name for a gentleman amateur, it conveys the impression that he excels without actually trying very hard, that he does not take things too seriously. An English gentleman must never be seen to be taking things seriously.

Nowadays we have people called Andy, John, Jamie, Roger, Novak and Goran playing. Those are not gentlemens’ names, they’re bus drivers’ names. No wonder the chaps are not ashamed to be drinking their lemon barley water from the bottle at changeovers. People with bus driver’s names will behave as bus drivers would. In Bunny’s day competitors in the Gentlemens’ Singles would take their valet along to the court to mix their lemon barley water in a crystal decanter and serve their drinks from a silver salver. It is not winning that is important but how one wins.

One must wonder however is Lemon Barley water a suitable drink for a gentleman. Old Bunny would not have been seen dead drinking Lemon Barley water. He liked to sip a Pimms while taking his minute break and was often seen smoking a Dunhill cigarette through the Tortoiseshell holder he was presented with for winning the Swurrey Conty Gentlemens’ singles on four consecutive occasions.

It is a good thing that we have a British player contesting the British Tennis Championship but it would have been so much better is standards had been kept up.

Indecent Exposure At The Open Golf?

Watching a little of the Open golf tournament I was reminded that television commentators on golf or any other sport for that matter live not just on a different planet but in a universe of their own. Faced with a lull in the action because everyone had fallen down a hole / gone for a wee / was busy playing sandcastles, the man on the mic. decided to wax lyrical about the facilities at the host club, Sandwich.

“There is a wonderful clubhouse here, the food and drink are excellent,” he enthused, “the only problem is it is quite a long way from the first tee so you can’t sit in a window and watch old Fred bang one off.”

Now I don’t know if watching old Fred bang one off of is part of the game of golf everywhere or just a local tradition at Royal Sandwich Golf Club but I certainly don’t want to watch him. As far as I’m concerned his private life is his own business but I hope club officials would warn him his habits could get him arrested.