Nick Skelton Turns The Tables On BBC Commentators.

We’ve seen lots of hugging at these Olympics, Andy Murray enjoyed a snog with Kim, a cuddle with his Mum and then was accosted by a little boy who cried,”Give me a hug Andy”, and Andy doubled back and did just that.

The competitors have been hugging each other, no matter what the outcome. Michael Phelps was quick to go over and congratulate his conqueror, but maybe that was to get away from the warm patch.

Our lightweight double sculls pair were pipped at the post for gold and were distraught, what better place to get comfort than sobbing on the mighty chest, enveloped in the arms of the giant Olympian Sir Steve Redgrave.

And then, of course, there was the floating assault on Ben Ainslie, post gold medal win.

Yesterday Nick Skelton tuned the tables on the commentators, seperated by a fence he told Clare Balding how fantastic it was to win gold in the team show jumping, told her how fantastic it was to do it at 54 years old, following a broken neck and a hip replacement, told her how fantastic it was for the sport and then running out of words he leaned over the fence, slung his arm around her shoulders and gave her a big sloppy one.

You go, Nick.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Another good day at the office for Team GB, the only downside being that should our athletes fall on hard times in their dotage they’re not going to get much from flogging their medals as they hardly posess rarity value.

A wonderful performance from Ben Ainslie was greeted with one of the most interesting situations for a post race interview ever witnessed, with Ben sitting on his Finn class dinghy whilst the BBC’s intrepid interviewer perched on the side of an adjacent rhib, that’s rigid hulled inflatable boat for those who don’t know.

As the boats bobbed and bumped on the slightly choppy water the Beeb’s man grabbed hold of Ainslie looking like he was trying to haul him overboard, and gabbled away excitedly about how “that has to be the most fantastic achievement from the greatest Olympic sailor ever.”
to which Ainslie replied, “Er, yeah.”

Short, succinct and to the point, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Jamie Murray meanwhile was re-tweeting a message his brother had received in the run up to his second encounter in a month with the beautifully elegant Roger Federer on the sacred lawns of SW19.

And this one wasn’t nasty.

The poster had given Andy a good piece of advice.

“Revenge is a dish best served at 138mph.”

Andy’s next to the last serve of the match was clocked at exactly that.

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This week at the Olympics…

I have watched a lot of the Olympics this week and I am impressed with the BBC coverage, especially as I am watching lots of it online. The things that have stuck in my mind the most are:

The worlds 12 deadliest women all took part in the discus final.

The officials measuring discus/javelin/hammer start running into the path of chosen throwing object before it lands, not even wearing a hard hat. They must be nails.

Commentators in EVERY sport have so far said something along the lines of “Well, we haven’t seen the like of this since Montreal in 1976, and we all remember how that turned out”. Generally, I don’t.

The Big Lebowski won Shot Put Gold Medal for Poland.

David Cameron has too much time on his hands, and possibly a couple of doppelgangers as he seems to be at every single event I’ve seen (but looks clueless as to what is actually going on).

There is a trampolinist called Dong Dong. A Facebook campaign has been started to get him to change his name to Boing Boing; if 3 million people click ‘like’, he will do it.

Beach Volleyball involves a lot of high fives and hugs, although no points seem to be awarded for this.

Waterpolo players have to be completely waxed from the neck down as opposition players can grab you by your arse hair in a fierce tackle and cause injury.

The British Rowing, Cycling and Athletics contenders have been amazing to watch and each and every athlete has earned their medals through hard work, skill and determination. Please, please can we change our national sport to one or all of the above and stop paying footballers ridiculous sums of money to get fake tans, have affairs, and occasionally roll around on some grass whining that someone messed their hair up.

And The Gold For Over – Enthusiasm Goes To….

Oooooh, aren’t you just loving the Olympics, made all the better by the fact that we are actually doing quite well. I have to admit I taped Andy Murray yesterday cos I couldn’t bear to watch him live, well I was cooking chips and getting distracted by a prolonged rally is probably quite a good way to set the kitchen on fire.

But can we do something about the commentators. They are so biased, which is fair enough, and they are so convinced the Brits are going to win they’re saying thing s like, “And Rebecca Addlington is ready to make her move now,” when in fact Rebecca Addlington looked just like she was desperately hanging on, as indeed she was.

There’s obviously two Olympics going on, The one we’re watching and the one the commentators want us to be watching.

Twit Of The Year Award

Monty Python once featured a sketch entitled “Upper Class Twit Of The Year.”

Now thanks to Twitter twittishness is no longer the preserve of the upper classes, any arsehole can join in.

So following the revelation that Rebecca Addlington, double Olympic gold medallist,and Jessica Ennis,double European and World Champion heptathlete, do not read any messages before competitions, on account of there always being some messages of a disparaging nature in among the good wishes, we now learn that a Twit, calling himself Rileyy69, tweeted an offensive message to Tom Daley, our Olympic diving hope and former world diving champion, and also the athlete women of a certain age would most like to mother, aawww, he’s so cute!

Little Tom’s response was quite grown up really in that he re-tweeted the message with a comment along the lines of ” see the kind of idiots I have to put up with.”

Well Rileyy69 soon got the message that you don’t say nasty things to a potential National Treasure, so he tweeted an apology, but this failed to stop other twits sending him abusive tweets so he laid into Tom again.

Rileyy69 is allegedly a 17 year old from Dorset, and he has now been arrested and charged under the Malicious Communications Act, which makes it “an offense to send an electronic communication that conveys a grossly offensive message intended to cause distress or anxiety”.

Now I don’t know but I’d be willing to bet that young Rileyy has not achieved very much in his short life so far, he probably won’t have made it into the school swimming gala and I can imagine that if he ever stood on a 10 metre diving platform the best he could manage would be a bomb and safest probably a shamefaced climb back down the ladder.

It would appear that he doesn’r compete at international level in any event, not even tiddlywinks or conkers, so while I think arresting him is probably going too far, haven’t the police got anything better to do with their time, I think I’d be inclined to take him up to the 10 metre platform and force him to dive off. A belly flop from 30 odd feet should prove a reliable way to make him take to heart those words our mothers, grandmothers and teachers drummed into us at an early age, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Oh, and of course he has achieved something, The Boggartblog Twit Of The Year Award.

Podium and Medal Tipped to Gold

oooh the Olypics are here. Watched a few of the swimming heats this morning, then I’ve watched the end of the cycling road race, but unfortunately no podium finish for the Brits.

But that does lead me to something I heard on the radio the other day, which surely deserves the gold medal for mangling the English language.

Now we all know in corporate speak they are fond of making verbs out of nouns, but this has got to take the cake.

Or I should probably say … cake it.

A spokeswoman for Team GB, who shall remain nameless lest she be summarily executed by the massed disgusteds of Tunbridge Wells, gave us these immortal words,

“Everyone in the team wants to medal …. they are all hoping to podium…”

And her tongue was nowhere near her cheek!

Just had to keyboard that for you all 🙂

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A Year Is A LOng Time In F1

Cast your mind back twelve months and note how things change. Last year we were bathed in sunshine whilst the Canadian GP start was delayed for several hours due to torrential rain. Jensen Button had problems in the pits but came through from last to overtake a spinning Seb Vettel on the final lap and take the chequered flag.

And this year? Europe is experiencing deluges of biblical proportions, the men’s final in Paris having to be finished off today, whilst several other sporting events have been delayed, postponed, or abandoned.

But in Canada it was beautiful. Jensen Button also suffered a reverse in his fortunes, not exactly starting from pole but finishing way down near the back of the grid. What a shame he seems to be so unflappable, a prize opportunity for a major strop having passed him by….

Last year Lewis Hamilton was showing how a strop should be done, seeking out Christian Horner to see if there was any chance of a seat in this year’s car. He was politely turned down and I should think he’s quite glad now, Red Bull are no longer the dominant force they were last year and Lewis claimed his first victory of the season, emerging from his second stop almost 10 seconds behind the one stopping leaders, but sailing majestically past them as their tyres began to fade.

Felipe Massa started well but then slipped down the field and Schumi recorded yet another DNF, despite his mechanics using the highly technical measure of bashing his rear wing with their fists in an effort to free his jammed DRS. I used to work for a chap whose favoured course of action when faced with anything mechanical was to hit it with a hammer. If he wasn’t dead I’d be thinking he’d got a new job working for Mercedes.

Grosjean hauled his Lotus into second place and I can’t see it being long before one or other of their drivers takes the chequered flag, and Sergio Perez had another excellent drive to take third, both of these drivers passing Vettel and Alonso in the closing laps.

All in all a good race with plenty of action, which is more than can be said for Monaco where the most exciting thing to happen was Martin Brundle being bundled into the swimming pool of the Red Bull yacht by Christian Horner as he interviewed race winner Mark Webber…

A Year Is A LOng Time In F1

Cast your mind back twelve months and note how things change. Last year we were bathed in sunshine whilst the Canadian GP start was delayed for several hours due to torrential rain. Jensen Button had problems in the pits but came through from last to overtake a spinning Seb Vettel on the final lap and take the chequered flag.

And this year? Europe is experiencing deluges of biblical proportions, the men’s final in Paris having to be finished off today, whilst several other sporting events have been delayed, postponed, or abandoned.

But in Canada it was beautiful. Jensen Button also suffered a reverse in his fortunes, not exactly starting from pole but finishing way down near the back of the grid. What a shame he seems to be so unflappable, a prize opportunity for a major strop having passed him by….

Last year Lewis Hamilton was showing how a strop should be done, seeking out Christian Horner to see if there was any chance of a seat in this year’s car. He was politely turned down and I should think he’s quite glad now, Red Bull are no longer the dominant force they were last year and Lewis claimed his first victory of the season, emerging from his second stop almost 10 seconds behind the one stopping leaders, but sailing majestically past them as their tyres began to fade.

Felipe Massa started well but then slipped down the field and Schumi recorded yet another DNF, despite his mechanics using the highly technical measure of bashing his rear wing with their fists in an effort to free his jammed DRS. I used to work for a chap whose favoured course of action when faced with anything mechanical was to hit it with a hammer. If he wasn’t dead I’d be thinking he’d got a new job working for Mercedes.

Grosjean hauled his Lotus into second place and I can’t see it being long before one or other of their drivers takes the chequered flag, and Sergio Perez had another excellent drive to take third, both of these drivers passing Vettel and Alonso in the closing laps.

All in all a good race with plenty of action, which is more than can be said for Monaco where the most exciting thing to happen was Martin Brundle being bundled into the swimming pool of the Red Bull yacht by Christian Horner as he interviewed race winner Mark Webber…

The Hand Of God?

Pastor Maldonado came of age on Sunday, emerging from his chrysalis of being a backmarker who seems to get in the way a lot, to being a front runner, topping the timesheets in all qualifying sessions and driving a measured race to take his first win. Not bad for a man of god…. oh hang on, that’s his name not a title, sorry.

Fernando Alonso once again demonstarted what an excellent driver he is, when not suffering the sulks and huffs that entertained us so much a couple of seasons ago.

Kimi Raikonnen continues to show Michael Schumacher just what a successful comeback is actually like, once again on the podium and surely not long till he’s on the top step.

Schumi on the other hand continued to demonstrate that he is probably past it, not even the tactic of not completeing a lap in final qualifying in order to save tyres giving him any advantage in the race as he hung around the middle of the field until giving us a classic Schumacher moment when faced with a car he was struggling to pass, “misjudging” his speed, the distance to Bruno Senna’s Williams and its speed and therefore ending up in the Wiliams’s rear end and whilst giving the following Seb Vettel a visor full of carbon fibre.

Hamilton drove a stormin’ race, gambling on only two tyre stops to try and get some points after being demoted from pole to the very back of the grid. Last year he asked, facetiously, “Is it cos I is black?” a la Ali G, well they do seem to be a bit heavy handed with the punishments you have to admit.

All very exciting again, but it isn’t half buggering up my afternooon naps, I used to rely on F1 to have my eyes closing within half an hour.

And Monaco next, where Felippe Massa has it all to prove, otherwise he’ll be joining the dole queue. Can’t wait!