The Science Of Mistaking Fiction For Fact

Those clowns at NASA are at it again, phishing for research grants by mixing fact and science fiction. This time they think they have discovered a planet orbiting a nearby star, that may be ripe for colonisation by humans. Before we know it that retard Brian Cox will be jumping up and down on our television screens, babbling about how we must spend a trillion zillion pounds on getting to this planet (or phenomenon that might be a planet, because it will be so exciting to explore space and science is just so fucking brilliant!

Well as usual the reality is not quite a brilliant as the science.

from RT:

NASA has just discovered a potential “super-Earth” outside our solar system which is located comfortably inside its star’s habitable zone, meaning it could be ripe for human colonization.

While monitoring the star named GJ 357, which sits just 31 light years away in the constellation Hydra, the space agency’s Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite (TESS) caught the star dimming every 3.9 days, indicating the presence of at least one transiting exoplanet.

Did you catch that distance. 31 light years. It takes light, moving at 186,000 miles per second thirty one years to get here from that star system. So travelling at a tenth the speed of light it would take us 310 years, 4 lifetimes, to get there. What a disappointment it would be if the great, great, great, great grandchildren of the astronauts who set off finally arrived to find a barren lump of rock.

And that’s if we could travel at a tenth the speed of light or 18,600 miles per second. If only. At the moment our fastest spacecraft will get up to 15 miles per second. And at that sluggish pace it would take over 300,000 years to get there. I’ve explained it all previously HERE

In spite of not needing to know much rocket science to work that out, (I did calculate the number precisely, in my head, without needing a calculator or even a pen and notebook,) I know from experience that pointing out that little snag to scientists would earn me only ridicule. “You don’t understand science,” they would say and call me an ignorant clown, a dinosaur or an arts graduate. Such things don’t bother me, but sometimes one feels trying to educate such deluded window lickers is just not worth the effort.

What we have to do, those of us lucky enough to live in nations that maintain an illusion of democracy, is take back power, vote against the establishment parties and for the realists, the people who seem competent enough to tacke the problems we have here and now, instead of spending our hard earned cash on funding lunatics to chase their impossible dreams. There is no point in exploring space, the cluer is in the name, there’s nothing there.

These NASA scientists and the saience fan boys like Brian Cox and Bill Nye the Science Guy need to go back to junior school, learn basic arithmetic and then work out exactly how long it would take us to get to the nearest star, Proxima Centuri (about 4.25 light years from the sun,) in a vehicle powered by any technology likely to become available to us in the foreseeable future.

Never mind the ‘warp speed’ engines proposed by theoretical physicists that would hurl us through space at many times the speed of light, what is possible in theory may look achievable when you work it out in equations on a computer screen, but doing it for real is a very different proposition. And currently so far beyond reality it is on a par with anything in Star Trek or Star Wars.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again:

Scientists are wankers.

 

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It Doesn’t Take Much To Get Scientists Excited

Space probe Philae of the Rosetta mission on the comet (or Yoda’s House?)

Yesterday we saw on television news bulletins pictures of scientists jumping up and down, screaming and shouting and generally behaving they way we would expect from Liverpool football supporters if they heard Mario Balotelli had been transferred to another club.

What was the cause of this celebrationete? You might well ask.

It seems the pointy heads were worked up because they had landed a space probe, The Rosetta Mission, on the surface of a comet. Or maybe not, later news reports said the capsule had not attached itself to the surface of the comet, some even said it had bounced back into space again.

No matter, today we hear it is down once more. The scientists are in a somewhat calmer frame of mind though still ebullient.

‘Rosetta mission could unlock key to alien life,’ says lead Philae lander scientist

“For Jean-Pierre Bibring, the astrophysicist who has worked on the Rosetta mission for over two decades, the crucial question of our very existence could be found on that relatively tiny spot in the solar system.

“When you observe the solar system now, actually we do not understand why life started here. We are convinced that really the keys were in the origin of the system itself; the process that’s really governed the modeling of different pass-ways,” Bibring said on Wednesday.”

“We are essentially convinced that these molecules, with their specific composition and structures, when they were fed in the oceans of the earth and possibly of other planets, were the missing link to the emergence of life,” he continued.

Bibring extols the “beauty” of the comet, saying it has the ability to preserve the composition of the ingredients out of which the entire solar system formed.” (Source)

There seem to be far more dogmas and established truths in that than the detached objectivity we expect from scientists.

While other scientists are chanting the “mantra “We will learn so much from this,” the way they do when asked what the moon landing actually achieved (forgetting that all we learned from putting men on the moon was that it isn’t made of cheese). Its the standard justification for flushing shitloads of taxpayers’ money down the toilet on pointless projects run by people who make no distinction between research ans science fiction of course. WTF possible benefit can there be in having another few thousand theories about the origins of life? They are emerging already.

comet-tweet

Last April, NASA’s Kepler Space Telescope team discovered the first Earth-size planet orbiting a star in the “habitable zone” – the range of distance from a star where liquid water might pool on the surface of an orbiting planet. (Really they observed a change in the radiated light from that star which suggested a planet sized object had passed between it and earth. As it would take our fastest spacecraft about 100,000 years to reach that star system we ain’t going to be finding our for sure any time soon.

Some scientists theorize that five stars in our galaxy have Earth-sized planets in the habitable or Goldilocks Zone.

Whether life could have formed in liquid water on one of these ‘Goldilocks’ planets, or if it hitched a ride across the solar system on a comet, Philae potentially offers a key to the question of whether or not we are alone in the universe. What’s more, if life on Earth came from microbes that hitched a ride on a comet, then ironically, human beings would in fact be the alien life they have always been looking for.

I’m sure it will not dampen the excitement of science heads if I reveal that theories claiming the whole comet landing stunt was filmed in a Hollywood studio have already been posted on the internet.

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Why Is Britain More Elitist Than Ever?

The (still) lovely Helen Mirren, awarded a BAFTA fellowship last night for being all – round wonderful, said in her acceptance speech that acting has become the preserve of kids with rich parents.

Dame Helen said “only kids with wealthy parents can get into the acting profession”, and she is absolutely right of course. Thirteen years of complete misrule by Labour, the party of billionires, lawyers and academics hate the working class so much they deliberately made British society more stratified and hierarchic that it was under the old nobility. All the decent jobs are in closed shop professions.

And the condemed coalition have done nothing to redress the balance.

I’ve nothing against posh kids going into acting of course. Be nice if a few of them could act better than planks however. Here are a few who can’t manage a glottal stop between them.

And now a few from the era when most people were so poor they had the arse out of their trousers, some truly grats whose childhoods were so poor they couldn’t affor to have the arse out of their trousers, so they had to act as if they did.

Michael Caine
Tom Courtnay
Rita Tushingham
Gary Oldman
Christopher Eccleston
Shiela Hancock
Ray Winstone
Bob Hoskins
Gerard Butler
Julie Walters
Sean Connery
Jane Horrocks
Peter O’Toole
Richard Burton
Naomie Harris
And of course Helen Mirren herself – though her Dad was from a wealthy Russian family he worked as a cab driver in Britain.

Not bad from memory.

The Hunt For Extra Terrestrial life Stepped Up

First posted at Bullblews.com under my pen name Ed Butt. This is a slightly edited version to avoid duplicate content issues.

Our star gazing Scientists are getting their knickers in a twist about the chances of locating extra terrestrial life (well it does not take much to get scientists excited, I have a theory that the word science itself, all sibilants and soft vowels, makes them imagine what it feels like to fondle the well rounded buttocks on a beautiful woman who is wearing expensive satin panties).

Over the next few months astrophysicists, i.e. the kind of physicists who think Star Trek was a fly on the wall documentary, will be turning their radio telescope dishes towards Kepler-62, a star smaller and dimmer than our Sun but not dimmer than our scientists, which resides about 1,000 light years away in the constellation Lyra (One light year equals the distance travelled over one earth year at the speed of light, 300,000 km or 186,000 miles per second. Keep the Per Second bit uppermost in your mind mind, it is important.

A star system containing two potentially habitable Earth-like planets is being targeted in the search for extra-terrestrial intelligence. Don’t you love the ‘potentially’ like we already know they have rivers and animals and fishes and edible plants and television, fast food restaurants, pubs, brothels and ‘special clinics’, all the stuff needed to support life A pair of so-called “super-Earths” have been detected within the “habitable zone” of the star, the orbital region where temperatures are just warm enough to allow bodies of surface water such as oceans and lakes the science says.

Now let’s just pause a moment and think about what they have detected. The only evidence this exercise in flushing taxpayers money down the toilet is these befuddled stargazers have seen shadows that might be planets or Jordan’s tits or Boris Johnson on a zip wire or something, passing across the face of this star one thousand years ago. The light arriving in our atmosphere now left these two potentially life supporting planets a thousand years ago. (The Truth Is Not Out There)

Although we cannot know what the planets are made of (all we have by way of evidence that they actually exist is a few highly subjective interpretations of patterns made by energy sensors), they are believed to be rocky. One, Kepler-62f, is thought to have a radius about 1.4 times greater than the Earth’s. The other, Kepler-62e, is estimated to be 1.6 times larger. 1.6 not ‘a bit bigger than earth. It’s that bogus precision on the basis of such flimsy evidence that gives the game away, this is all pure guesswork.

The planets’ parent star is around two billion years older than the Sun, raising the possibility of intelligent life more advanced than it is on Earth. A scientist would never bother to give a nanosecond’s thought to the other possibility it raises, that like Mars, whatever life might once have existed on these planets is long extinct.

Both the imaginary planets will be priority targets in a new Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (Seti) programme focusing on habitable zone worlds. Let’s just put this in perspective. If we had a spaceship that could travel at one tenth the speed of light, 18,600 miles per second, it would take 10,000 years to make a one way trip to these planets (are images of Red Dwarf starting to float into your mind, you know the kind of thing, one surviving human, a few holograms and a spaceships cat that has evolved into Danny John-Jules? It get worse however.

The fastest spacecraft we have yet built will reach about 10 miles a second if the astronaut keep his foot to the floor, is going downhill and has a following wind. Even if any revolutionary propulsion system was in development that would increase speeds by the required amount, we do not have the materials necessary to withstand the stresses of travelling at such speeds.

What we are seeing here is a case of investing money in the schemes of arrested adolescents who live in a fantasy world when we ought to be focusing on the very real and solveable problems we face here on earth.

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Photoshopping The Pope: Boggart Blog exclusive

Many people have praised Pope Benedict for his courageous decision to resign because he is too clapped out to carry on.

It was the right decision but are we being told the full story? Boggart Blog can reveal the decision was forced on the Pope when his Public relations people advised him it was not longer possible to photoshop pictures of him to mask his true nature.

Below: The Pope, left – the public image; right – the reality

evil-emperor

Politically Correct Teachers Vagazzled By Christmas Star

Today’s story come from our Oh FFS correspondent.

Children at the Sure Start centre in Acomb, York, have been told by crypto Nazi politically correct staff to stop making a “diamond” sign while singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The sick minded perverts highly trained staff just can’t get sex off their minds it seems are worried that the gesture may be interpreted as the sign language representing a vagina.

Angry parents accused of the centre’s staff of “overreacting” A disgruntled mother said: “It seems a little politically correct. These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star. They’re only five, to them “cunt” is just a word they hear big kids saying. No one had ever given it a second thought but now when parents see their kins giving a “thumbs up” sing they will be scared officious busybodies working for the politically correct thought police will think the child is indicating a desire for anal sex, when a little girl makes a letter ‘o’ with her thumb and forefinger she is letting boys know she has a wide on and when boys shake their fist they are indicating they have an erection.”

Staff members at the Sure Start centre had been on a course to learn Makaton sign language – a system used by about 100,000 people in Britain that assists people with communication difficulties.

The sign for female genitalia is an inverted diamond made with a thumb and forefinger, held in front of the crotch. OK so now you know girls, in certain circumstances it is perfectly OK to smack a disabled person in the mouth. Especially if they work for the local council.

Meanwhile the children in the Boggart Bloig staff creche will entertain us by miming Four and Twenty Virgins.

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Boggart Blog Exclusive: Jacko’s Death Faked, We Reveal Why.

It is inevitable that people would quickly start to claim Michael Jackson is not really dead. It happened with Buddy Holly, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin who all found it possible to be dead, dead famous and at the same time evade the all seeing eye of the media. But at Boggart Blog we like to go a step further and so we will reveal why Whacko Jacko and his handlers decided death was the only way left to salvage the singer’s stalled career.

For many of the superstars who have become more successful when dead, embarrassing revelations about their private lives that would have damaged them in life only enhanced their reputation in death. Did we care that Elvis liked to eat fried banana sandwiches while sitting on the lav? Did the knowledge that Marilyn did not change her knickers every day diminish her sex appeal. In death and in the fantasies of millions Elvis was always the slim, hip swivelling teenager and MM’s panties were always pristine. Jim Morrison; in reality fat dead guy in a bath: in public perception always the slender, beautiful rebel. See what we mean.

Most of the evidence we have to back up our allegation is circumstantial of course but just apply logical reasoning and you will understand why Jackson’s death had to be announced now. We are not saying the hospital where he was treated or the Los Angeles coroners office were complicit in the deception, there were people in Jackson’s entourage who were so skilled in administering medication they had managed to drug up the star enough to have him declared clinically sane on several occasions. The drug that put him into a deep coma and slowed his heart rate to one beat per minute was administered by a member of the entourage and the authorities had no way of knowing what had really happened.

Why was this done now, in the days leading up to what meeja talking heads predicted would be a triumphant comeback with a season of 50 gigs at London’s O2 arena? The clue is in the venue. O2, Oxygen – the Oxygen of publicity was what was needed to kick start record and DVD sales and make some money for the parasites and hangers on who had lived off Jacko for so long. To die would be sad but to die on the verge of a comeback would be tragedy worthy of Grand Opera.

And why would the singer agree to such a course. Consider the dichotomy of Michael Jackson. Certain aspects of his lifestyle forced him to become a virtual recluse, he spent weeks on end closeted in Neverland with only little boys, cartoon characters and Jesus Juice for company and yet this was a man lived for acclaim, craved adoration, fed on the adoring attentions of his fans. He even liked to cast himself as Jesus, an unfortunate habit which led to that infamous Jarvis Cocker moment. So how was it possible to earn a living, be adored and indulge in certainly lifestyle options that do not bear close scrutiny?

Be dead of course?

Yes Michael had for more to gain from being dead than either Elvis or Jim Morrison before him. Once dead he could be a publicity shunning control freak and a publicity seeking fame junkie simultaneously. And whatever he was getting up to in his secret hideaway, in the public perception he would ever be that cute squeaky voiced kid with a normal nose.

It was not in Michael’s make up to slip away quietly, to have an empty plane flown into a mountain, pay a fat tramp to sit in a bath eating speed, to have six burly henchmen and a crane lift him off a golden toilet. No, Jacko had to go out big. A million tickets sold for the O2 gigs, a million people wailing and gnashing their teeth at news of his death (most because they were worried about not getting their money back) would appeal to Jacko’s sense of occasion.

There was no way the concerts could ever go ahead of course. Apart from what abuse of prescription drugs had done to Michael’s heart there was the question of dancing. While the fans would be expecting to see the old dance moves that resembled a spazza on speed the weird one’s body had deteriorated to such an extent due to excessive surgery bits would drop off if he stood up too quickly.

We understand the original plan was for a lot of headline grabbing showboating, concerts cancelled, postponed, will he, won’t he rumours flying around, pre publicity shots of Michael looking frail but bravely insisting the shows would go on. Then the dramatic collapse twenty minutes into the first concert. Shock, horror. Tsunami of sympathy. Diana moment, spontaneous outpourings of grief, mega record and DVD sales, the posthumous autobiography dictated to a psychic, the Bubbles the Chimp reveals all expose syndicated to Murdoch owned publications around the world.

Unfortunately something happened that made it all go pear shaped. While many of Michael Jackson tickets languished unsold in the safes of agencies that had snapped them up and other were being given away as competition prizes news started to filter through that the Take That tour had shifted a million and a half tickets and the boys were playing to packed houses and rapturous reviews. And furthermore Take That’s clown faces were only painted on.

Michael Jackson could just not face the fact that he was not as popular as four has beens from Manchester. In a fit of pique he brought his death scene forward to try and steal attention from the boy band.

NOW CHECK the top comment. Kudos to Jack Frost who save me the trouble of linking the conspiracy theories.

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A Tenner Less Unlike the loss of a self proclaimed King Of Pop who sang like an over – exited Mickey Mouse voiceoverman and danced like a spazzer on speed, the loss of a great operatic tenor is something that should be mourned. Even when the loss is not to death but thickening of the vocal chords.

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