Victoria’s Secrets

Last year or was it 2008, time goes so quickly in blogland, we reported on a pair of Queen Vic’s Knicks coming up for auction and fetching a right old bundle. The outside (50 inch waist) bloomers were auctioned at the salerooms of Hanson’s of Derby and the hammer fell at £4,500.

Reasons why the garment fetched such a price are hinted at in our linked article.

Why are they blethering on about something they posted over a year ago? you might well ask.

Well if you are a fan of all things royal or a Regina-eroticist you might be interested to learn Queen Victoria’s silk stockings are now being sold by private collector (nudge, nudge) The items will be knocked down at the Lyon and Turnbull Auction in Edinburgh on 24 March. Though not as highly prized by collectors as the knickers Queen Vic’s Stockings are expected to attract bids in the region of £400.

What this proves to us when seen in the light of the row about homeopathy (reported at the Daily Stirrer) currently raging between the “Science is God” lobby and the “it’s hippies own business what they spend their money on” freethinkers is that what people spend their hard – earned on truly is their own business. Even at £400 a pair for ancient stockings.

Homepathy is endorsed by members of the royal family of course. We cannot comment on whether that has any bearing on the value of Queen Vic’s underwear athough as homeopathy allegedly works through a memory of a substance being stored in water maybe there is a memory of Victoria’s majesty in the gusset of her pants.

The Time Has Come The Walrus Said….

Indeed the time has come to start spending the money neither we, nor the banks, have got, but Gordon the Terrible has the printing presses working 24/7 in order to maintain a constant supply of the old filthy lucre to slip through our fingers into the hands of the developing nations, be it through their consumer goods or their call centres when we try to find out why our brand new Daewoo flatscreen t.v. with laptop and internet access espresso refrigerated mixer and ice cube maker will not work.

And perhaps, being a tightwad like me, you may wonder about the wisdom of forking out a small fortune on pieces of card, decorated with pictures of snowy scenes, robins, wreaths and ice skaters and bearing variations on a theme of “Seasons Greetings”, even though some of them will actually say that of the £3.99 you spent on a box of 10, 1 penny will be donated to charity for each card bought.

You may wonder how you might better spend your time on these winter evenings rather than sitting at the kitchen table for a couple of hours a night trying to remember whether Ginny Reynolds had three kids or two and what on earth was her current partner called, seeing as how you haven’t seen her since leaving school back in 1984.

You may baulk at the necessity to pay first class postage for all these cards as the last date for second class post was 24th November, to people you knew once, a long time ago, and would walk past in the street these days, and who obviously only send you a Christmas card when yours pops through their letterbox, hence not receiving their card until the middle of January.

But what to do to salve your conscience at this time of giving?

Simply give generously to the annual Boggartblog Christmas appeal.

For the past two years we have campaigned on behalf of the millions of bereft socks, condemned to a lonely existence at the bottom of the washing basket as their partners make their way goodness knows where, allegedly with the help of washing machines.

Last year we were pleased to announce the founding of the Fletcher Memeorial Home for Seperated Socks and Stockings and the Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

During the summer we brought you news of an innovative pairing and breeding programme being undertaken by the homes.

And Boggartblog is still championing this charity.

However this year we have become increasingly concerned about the number of abandoned hi-visibility jackets.

Hi-visibility jackets have been encouraged to proliferate to provide flourescent wear for anyone undertaking anything ever, in the interests of Health and Safety.

Outdoor workers wear hi-vis, indoor workers wear hi-vis, drivers wear hi-vis, pedestrians wear hi-vis, adults wear hi-vis, children wear hi-vis, even animals wear hi-vis.

But some people seem to be a little careless, not treating their flourescent friend with the respect it deserves. It seems that to some people hi-vis is a disposable commodity, hence the growing number of hi-vis items found abandoned at the side of the road, behind the dustbins, in streams, rivers and ponds, stuck in trees and even dangling from electricity pylons.

This year Boggartblog is asking you to support us in our efforts to make ownership of high visibility clothing subject to CRB checks and the holding of an appropriate licence.

Boggartblog has won the contract from the government to carry out CRB checks on its behalf for anyone wishing or needing, through the course of their employment, to keep or wear high visibility clothing.
Subject to a satisfactory CRB check a licence will be issued, at a cost of £55.00 per annum.

But campaigning for the basic rights of the high visibility fraternity does not come cheap. So far this year Boggartblog has spent £4.25 of its own money on this cause. In order to get the necessary legislation through Parliament we need to raise a further £9.63 million, and that is why we are asking you for your help.

You can donate on line, just leave your credit or debit card details at Boggartblog Hi-Vis Scampaign and indicate the amount you wish us to take.
We also accept cheques and cash.
Alternatively if you have any unwanted gold jewellery lying about we would be more than happy to take that off your hands.

Please remember our flourescent friends this Christmas and give generously.

Creepy And Evil Christmas Presents
We Wish You A Merry Christmas – But Not In Dundee
Holding Out For A Hero
The Boggart Blog Christmas Appeal 2008
Prime Minister’s Crap Christmas

Boggartblog Christmas Appeal

As Christmas aproaches we at Boggartblog take a special pride in the work we do with our chosen charity, The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks and Stockings and the Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

It is at this time of year that one tends to think about odd stockings and indeed, it is traditional for people to buy a special stocking and hang it from the mantlepiece, where it can enjoy the warmth of the central heating and also be the centre of attention, especially on Christmas morning, when excited children will come rushing downstairs to find what presents have materialised in their stocking.

However we urge all of you out there to think hard before buying one of these specially bred stockings.
Stockings are, by nature, designed to be one of a pair, and even though the intense commercialisation of Christmas has given rise to oversized, brightly coloured items of hosiery, these little fellows, which look cute enough now, will soon be confined to a lonely twelve months at the bottom of the decoration box in the attic.
They will not even have a partner or sole-mate to keep them company through the long sweltering days that represent an insulated loft’s summer climate.
Do you really want your stocking to suffer like that?

Boggartblog suggests that you take a pair of your own socks, or better still, two or more of the odd socks that invariably lurk at the bottom of the washing basket and use these for your Christmas stocking. Let’s face it, unless you have feet the size of Michael Phelp’s, it will be a sight cheaper to fill one of these in these straitened times, and it will also provide an albeit brief sense of purpose in these singular socks’ lives.

Boggartblog also asks that at this time of giving you think of all the socks you have lost or mislayed during the past year. At the Fletcher Memorial and the Greta Garbo homes the staff are dedicated to providing treatment and care for the lost, damaged socks that are brought to us.

£2.50 will pay for laundry for 37 socks of similar colour.

£5.00 will pay for a month’s suply of needles and darning wool, to treat the damaged socks.

£495.99 will provide a bespoke camphor wood drawer, which can provide shelter for 28 single socks and stockings.

Or you can adopt a stocking. Simply arrange a monthly donation by direct debit, and we will choose a sock or stocking to be your very own. You will receive a photo of your stocking and regular updates on it’s progress.



Five Go Round Robin
Christmas Is Bollocks