Stupid Criminal Of The Week – Stolen Shoes Cost Him An Arm …

… but not a leg it turns out. And they weren’t even new shoes. teenager lost his arm when an absolutely stupid robbery he attempted went idiotically wrong.

Police say the 17-year-old boy, Zachary Sam, contacted a 39-year-old man known as “Phil” who was selling a pair of Air Jordan shoes on Craiglist. They arranged to meet at the junction of Avenue M and East 84th Street in Canarsie, where the teen got into the seller’s car and pulled out a gun, police said. The teen stole the sneakers and then walked away.

Unfortunately the thief only managed to get 100 yards or so when the driver made a U-turn, stepped on the gas and ran over the teenager, severing his arm, police told PIX11.

The teen, missing his arm, managed to jump on an MTA bus, where he demanded a MetroCard. Just then, the victim yanked the teenager off the bus and told the driver he’d robbed him. Then the teen escaped his clutches again and ran home, where he collapsed, police said.

He is now in a stable condition in hospital and doctors are hoping to be able to reattach the arm.

The driver now faces an attempted murder charge. His relatives said his actions were done in self-defense.

“He was just there to help support his family,” Phil’s cousin said. “What would you do if someone pulled a gun on you?”

News report with video

A Seasonal Miracle
South African Mr. (got that, Mr.) Charles Sibindana has been fined ZA$140 for making a fraudulent claim for sick pay. Mr. Sibindana submitted a certificate from his wife’s gynaecologist to back up …

Dogging site goes to the dogs.

A Surrey beauty spot popular with dog walkers and notorious as a location for adults to gather and have sex in public with total strangers is to be the subject of a new project aimed at …
Malawi: Where Farting Is A Crime. We in the west have endured the gradual erosion of our civil liberty, human rights and personal freedom in the name of politically correct thinking but while we look to the developing world as offering a simpler, more common sense approach to life it seems their situation is worse. A new law in Malawi has made farting a crime. The freedom to fart at will is a basic human right we in the west hold dear.
Alligator becomes cop, catches burglar

Told By An Idiot
Nothing to do with Shakespeare though the title was borowed from him, but a collection of snipptes on the absurdities of life
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Climate Change: The scam that will let the rich take everything you have

What if I told you there was a scam afoot that will let the obscenely rich steal everything you have so they can live in even greater luxury while you and your family go hungry and sit shivering in the dark.

There is just such a scam, it is called Climate Change. Look at this and think it through for yourselves:

The recently appointed United Nations ‘peace envoy’ Leonardo di Craprio addressed the United Nations today on the subject of climate change.In his speech he said: “This disaster has grown beyond the choices that individuals make.”

‘You can make history …or be vilified by it,’ he dramatically told world leaders. So will the pug – faced little stink – bomb be vilified? You might well ask when we tell you some to the choices he has made that go waaaaaaaay beyond choices you or I could ever make.

Hollywood star’s took at least 20 trips across the nation and around the world this year alone – including numerous flights from New York to Los Angeles and back, a ski vacation to the French Alps, another vacation to the French Riviera, flights to London and Tokoyo to promote his film Wolf of Wall Street, two trips to Miami and trip to Brazil to watch the World Cup. We don’t know how many of those trips were made in his private jet, if he took only commercial flights however his plane travel would have spewed out 40million metric tons of carbon into the air. And if you take into account the fifth largest private yacht in the world and five luxury homes, you can bet the hypocritical little shit his having a right old laugh up his sleeve at the Warmageddonist dupes who cheer him on as he funds more hideously expensive and highly polluting jollies for himself through his United Nations expense account.

Remember climate change is a scam, a fiction spun because super rich shits like di Craprio, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Emma Thompson, George Clowney, Lady Gaga, Al Gore and a host of others can feel good about themselves while their mates in government take the little you have and add it to the much they have.

Stupid Criminal Of The Week

We haven’t had a Stupid Criminal Of The Week for a long time, all these stories about war, international crises, regime change, aircraft going missing and such have kept us too busy.

Now however we have a change to bring you the tail of Marquis Jackson, 27, a bumbling burglar who got himself sprayed by a skunk while stealing items from a garden. Police responded to a 911 call from a man who reported two men stealing items from a neighbor’s backyard but when the patrol car arrived the burglars had apparently fled. Jackson’s accomplice had been seen jumping over fences and running through gardens and was quickly apprehended.

Initially it appeared Jackson had made a clean getaway, but the officers noticed a pungent stink coming from a garden shed which had been broken into. In choosing a hiding place Jackson had disturbed a skunk just awakened from hibernation under the garden shed and the animal was pissed off at having its space invaded. Skunks use their spray as a defense mechanism to ward off predators.

It is rare to encounter skunks in domestic gardens, they are shy creatures and avoid humanity. Though they shun gardens, skunks are rather conservative creatures too and thus are very big on lawn order which is probably why this one grassed up the thief.

skunk conservative

You Need A Degree In Stupid To Work In The Public Sector


Above is a picture of the house Clare Lally and her wheelchair bound disabled daughter occupied courtesy of her local council. Leave aside the PhD in Stupid required for any public services administrator to off a house in such a location, with three flights of stairs from street level to the front door, to a disabled person, there may be mitigating circumstances, such as the bureaucrat having had their brain removed in order to be admitted to the UNITE union.

Once the bureaucrats had accepted Clare had a genuine need the council sprang into action and did what public service administrators excel at – they went from moronic to downright idiotic and built a 10-level ‘slalom’ wheelchair ramp from the street up to the house at a cost of £40,000.

The winding 60-metre path is like a marathon obstacle race for Clare every time she takes bulbar palsy sufferer Katie out.

Clare and Katy’s house with the ramp.

Pictures: Wikimedia Commons.

Clare told the media: “There must have been a better solution. The council could have gone about the whole project in a more sensible way.”

As if making life physically hard for Clare was not bad enough, the council have made the single Mum a target for the anti social behaviour of wanks on Planks skateboarders. The multi level ramp outside Clare and Katie’s home has proved to be like catnip for a ginger Tom to them.

The council are now being as obstructive as only public service union members can be. “More than my job’s worth to fit a gate with a secure lock at the bottom” said housing department spokesperson Jock MacTwat, “The skateboard wheelchair ramp is the only option, it’s building regulations see”.

“We weren’t fighting for a skateboard park – we just wanted to improve Katie’s quality of life.” said Clare. “What they have built is something which I would never have expected a local council to do. We have to open our blinds and look at it every day.”

West Dunbartonshire Council leader Cllr. Angus Atory said, “We offered this family a penthouse flat in a tower block with wonderful views across the Clyde but Clare refused it because the lifts have not worked over a year. Such ingratitude is quite frankly unacceptable. Does she not understand our priority is finding good quality housing for rent asylum seekers from Africa, Asia and East Europe and then we have a request for $10 billion from the organisers of Clydebank and Dumbarton Gay Pride festival. These are the really important items on our budget.

Having acknowledged Clare and Katie feel intimidated by nuisance skateboarders, council officials have refused to install a lockable gate to the ramp, citing health and safety concerns. ‘More than my job’s worth to approve a gate on the ramp,” said Jock McTwat “It would have to open outwards and so block the public footpath.”

Every other house on the road has a gate that swings outwards. Boggart Blog asks are the local council officers up for an award for most stupid, obstructive public servants or is such stupidity their normal state.

Disabled and independent

Stupid Criminal Of The Week Called The Cops While Planning Heist

It’s time to end the famine of Stupid Criminal Of The Week with a really wonderful story about a complete silly arse who called the cops and revealed plans for a robbery.

The Fresno police department in California are always happy when members of the public respond to requests for information and thus help to solve crimes. When a criminals’ themselves dial 911 and talk the cops through their plans, as you might imagine the boys in blue are ecstatic.

According to a May 21, report in Find Law, the assailant and accomplice were engaged in planning how to enter premises for the purposes of burglary when one of the men’s leaned on a wall while his cell phone was in his back pocket. The phone dialled 911 dispatch and the entire plan was recorded. Not only that, as the conversation indicated the silly arse was outside the place he planned to rob the cops were able to trace the phone’s location (you can do this at home)and apprehend the wannabe dickheads.

Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart, two 20-year-old men, were and charged with burglary, conspiracy and possession of stolen property.

The 911 dispatcher answered the and did not receive a response, but heard voices on the line. “I though it was just kids arseing about,” he told media.

In a second attempt to speak with the caller the dispatcher heard the men’s discussion about marijuana.

The emergency department’s recording shows the criminal’s cell phone call was connected to the 911 dispatch line for 35-minutes, giving the police plenty of time to saunter round and nick the villains.

Police Sergeant Jaime Rios stated that, “The 911 call was still open at the time of the arrests, and the officer took the phone and ended the call himself.”

original story and extracts from the recording at

MinusIQ: The Stupid Pill from big Pharma (video)

And now from Big Pharma, the people who gave you a pill for everything and a cure for nothing, the Stupid Pill. MinusIQ will lower your intelligence permanently so you will no longer need to be angered by the latest idiocies of political correctness, pissed off by stories of scientists flushing taxpayers money down the toilet or frustrated by politicians who promise to do one thing then do another.

A course of MinusIQ will make you oblivious to all this, you will be able to live like the retards, dickheads, fuckwits, window lickers and clueless arseholes you see wandering around town clutching a can of cheap larger and wearing a football shirt stretched tight over their beerbellies or a crop top revealing inches of muffin top.

Unfortunately MinusIQ is not even at the experimental stage yet, it’s only a satirical spoof. But hey, give them time and they’ll make it happen.


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Stupid Lefties Of The Week (with Chorlton and The Wheelies bonus)

A dearth of Stupid Criminal Of The Week award worthy crimes led us to wonder in the Boggart Blog office if it might be time to inaugurate a new category of award for outandingly stupid behaviour among a sector of society for whom stupidity is the norm.

Right on cue those paragons of stupidity, the Occupy movement provided us with inspiration. Having failed to Occupy The City, The Barbican, a scout hut in Camden Town and various other spaces you’d think Occupy might get the message and occupy the space between their collective ears.

But no, these people are truly dedicated to fuckwittery of the highest order. They tried to Occupy The Salvation Army.

Last Monday, we learn, a little old lady rang the buzzer outside the Salvation Army headquarters in Elephant and Castle, London. They door was opened for her because even in Elephant and Castle the Sally Army doesn’t turn people away people who need help and she seemed in need of help. But the old lady or perhaps I should say t’little old Lady like the friendly Yorkshire dragon in Chorlton and The Wheelies who could never see that t’little old lady was in fact an evil witch who wanted to make the wheelies wheels seize up because the little old Lady knocking on the Sally Army’s door in Elephant and Castle was was not what she seemed to be either: she was a decoy for Occupy Workfare, a gang of Left-wing dickheads activists who were hiding behind her. As soon as the door was opened, they burst into the HQ and proceeded to “occupy” it.

Apparently Occupy don’t like the Sally Army because it employs benefit recipients who are required to do work experience as a route back to employment. This so-called “workfare” scheme means they help the charity for a maximum of four weeks – and some of them are so impressed by its Christian witness that they stay on as volunteers while they find real jobs and sometimes even become actyive Christians (which we think might be what really pisses off Occupy).

In the eyes of Occupy Workfare, however, the Salvation Army is “collaborating” in a Tory conspiracy to exploit benefit claimants. Hence their charming old-lady decoy trick, which enabled a bunch of scumsuckers reeking of Patchouli oil and personal odours to push past the reception staff, pushing some aside roughly.

Leftie agitators aren’t the brightest folk (anyone remember Citizen Smith?) so it never occurred to them that once the door had shut behind them they wouldn’t be able to unoccupy the Sally Army building. The reception staff, independent contractors of the type usually recruited from ex military personnel didn’t appreciate being bullied and called the police. Occupy Workfare are now complaining of harassment that they were being “held hostage” by the Salvation Army … Arseholes.

In case you’d forgotten – Chorlton and The Wheelies (YouTube):

Stupid Criminal of the week: The scientist, the model and the cocaine

An acclaimed British scientist who was caught smuggling two kilos of cocaine has been jailed for almost five years.

Professor Paul Frampton, 68, said he was duped into carrying the drugs in a honeytrap sting involving a bikini model.

Finding him guilty of delusional stupidity as well as drug running the judge sentenced the Oxford-educated academic to four years and eight months in prison.

The divorced physicist told police he had been tricked into carrying the drugs by gangsters who posed on the internet as 32-year-old glamour model Denise Milani.

Following his arrest, he told a newspaper: “Perhaps I should have realised earlier but the fraudster was very good and very intelligent. For 11 weeks I thought I was chatting with an attractive woman.”

Did her deserve such a harsh sentence? Look at the picture below and decide for yourselves …


Boggart Blog readers say unanimously, “Yes he did.”

Testicular Fortitude Needed To Read This One Boys


A Newcastle woman who had previously been jailed jailed for biting off her partner’s testicles has been back in court after the pair rekindled their romance.

Martin Douglas required emergency surgery and 19 stitches to re-attach his scrotum after the blow job gone horribly wrong drunken assault by his girlfriend Maria Topp.

We must wonder where Douglas keeps his brain because after having his balls chewed he allowed himself to be tempted back into their relationship by Maria whose picture we reproduced below at the risk of causing distress to our male readers.

Ball Biter

Topp says she was ‘stabbed in the back’ by Mr Douglas after he reported her to police for breaching her restraining order. We couldn’t fault the lad if he had stabbed her in the back with a big blunt knife, she did bite his bollocks after all.

Topp, 45, had a ‘friendly chat’ with her ex-flame when they bumped into each other in Yates’ Lodge bar in the city centre.

She then sent Mr Douglas a text asking ‘Do you still love me?’

Ignoring several options including not replying, leaving the country and curling up in the foetal position in a dark room while hugging a security blanket, sucking his thumb and whimpering, Mr Douglas resumed his relationship with Topp. It fizzled out again in June this year at which point Mr Douglas reported Topp’s breach of her restraining order.

Appearing in Newcastle Magistrate’s Court Topp pleaded guilty to breaching a restraining order.

Prosecuting, David Thompson said: ‘This is a breach of a restraining order where the relationship ended against a backdrop of domestic violence for which Ms Topp was convicted in November last year.

Yeah but … he didn’t have to get back with her did he?

Somehow we have to stop these people from breeding.

Three More Shades Of Grey
Budgie Smugglers the only safe swimwear on Hampstead Heath
Different Clothes

Darwin Awards? This Guy Is A Contender.

This ought to be a Stupid Criminal Of The Week Post but while what the man did was incredibly stupid I’m not sure it is criminal.

Arizona Man Accidentally Shoots His Penis Off – from A P

A Phoenix man accidentally blew his dick off in a supermarket parking lot, after he tucked his girlfriend’s “pink pistol in the waistband of his pants.” According to a stone-faced police officer on the scene in this ABC15 report, the gun then accidentally discharged, sending a bullet directly through his penis and through his left leg.

One of the inalienable rights American males will lay down their lives in defence of is their right to own and carry guns. We think the Bill Of Rights should be amended to legally empower every American male over 18 to give the gene pool a quick scrub by castrating himself. It’s their God-given right!