Bizarre report from Afghanistan by BBC

In the ten years this blog has existed we have seen BBC News become less an impartial reporter of events in Britain and the world and more like the Ministry Of Truth, the propaganda department of the Big Brother Regime in George Orwell’s 1984.

About the only people who believe BBC reports are politicians, tax – eaters (public sector workers, schoolteachers, academics, NHS managers and professionals and the luvvies of the meeja and celebrity industry) But occasionally even the BBC cannot cover up the truth in service of its corporate masters agenda. This report from Afghanistan on how the city of Kunduz, recently overrun by the resurgent Taliban and according to official reports, almost immediately won back by Afghan Government troops is an example:

from BBC News:

Rights groups have expressed concern for the large numbers of civilians trapped in the Afghan city of Kunduz, amid fierce fighting between the Taliban and government troops.The government has accused the Taliban of raping and killing civilians after it seized the northern city this week. The Taliban rejected the accusations.

Both sides are claiming to be in control of much of the city.

But one resident of Kunduz told the BBC that he disputes the government’s claims that the city has been retaken, saying he could see no evidence of government troops there.

So have The Taliban been kicked out of Kunduz, was there even a counter attack by government troops, did the Taliban even manage to gain control of the city? You guess is as good as ours. Everything you read or hear in news these days is carefully managed propaganda.

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Obama Talks The Talk But Dare Not Visit Afghanistan In Daylight

from the Boggart Blog newsdesk:
Todays mainstream news papers and broadcast bulletins are full of the Superhero Barack Obama’s daredevil visit to Afghanistan. The man who liberated Libya single handed and took out Osama Bin Laden (or a Pakistani penioner with a beard) in a daring solo raid behind enemy lines stormed into the Afghan capital, Kabul, made a speech that left hundreds of Taliban fighters dead and saw others fleeing for the mountains with their arses on fire then left again all in the space of fifteen minutes. He would have stayed longer but had to get back, put out a forest fire, shore up a mountainside that was about to collapse, catch a kid who had fallen over the rail and was about to plunge into the Niagra rapids and stop a huge dam from bursting and washing away several small communities in Coloado.

No, but seriously folks …

After landing at Bagram Airbase around 10pm local time, the Prez – Dude was delivered by a low-level, cover-of-darkness “helicopter insertion” (he got arse fucked by a helicopter? Now wonder the limp wristed one was smiling) to the Presidential Palace where a ten-page proposal which contains no specifics on funding or troop levels was signed around midnight.

So secret was the visit that the White House spent the day frantically trying to deny leaked news of Obama’s imminent arrival after the puppet government in Kabul blabbed to western media. This was yet another example of seamless co-operation between Afghan and Coalition governments that perfectly ilustrates the readiness of President Khazi’s government to provide stability and security after the allied withdrawal..

After the signing, there was just time for Mr Obama to duck into a hangar and make a rousing address to the bewildered troops who have a big enough problrem trying to anticipate which direction the next enemy attack will next come from without having to worry about which direction the next visit by Obama, Cameron or Sarkozy will come from. Then he made an address to the American nation reminding them how he was single handedly routing the Taliban on a daily basis. This was, of course, another perfect excuse for the President to remind everyone of his heroic decision to leave the golf course and sit in a corner of the Situation Room as the Navy SEALs hit the alleged terrorist compund a year ago.

Obama’s autocue, said by many to be the real voice of the Presidency, is a past master at makeing a vitue out of absurdity, and this occasion was no exception as The One mouthed meaningless cliches about “new light” breaking on the horizon for Afghanistan, even as he gestured to the “pre-dawn darkness” in which he was speaking. Even the Presidential autocue’s rhetorical skills couldn’t disguise the tail-between-the-legs ‘optics’ of the event. It was as big a public disaster as news of the Administration’s billion – dollar gift to the Taliban or Michelle Obama’s $30,000 spending spree in posh knicker shop Agent Provocateur.

Administration officials tried to suggest that the visit’s unusual timing was for the benefit of the US TV networks, a piece of spin so feeble it does not merit a response.

There is no doubting the wisdom of the President’s security advisors in keeping the visit secret and under cover of darkness, it is only two weeks ago that the Haqqani network mounted a co-ordinated 18-hour assault on the heart of Kabul. Unfortunaterly despite the gung ho speech the message of this trip was clear and will not be missed by the west’s enemies: after a decade of expending blood and money in Afghanistan, the US President does not dare visit the place broad daylight.

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There Was Spam, Spam

A song schoolboys of my generation used to sing , The Quartermaster’s Store was learned from our Dads who had sung it as soldiers during World War 2. It had innumerable verses, all simple and easily remembered couplets. My favourite went:

There were fleas, fleas,
with kilts and hairy knees,
In the store, in the store.
There were fleas, fleas,
with kilts and hairy knees,
In the Quartermaster’s store.

CLICK HERE and scroll to 2nd song down for Shurdington Scouts version which is somewhat less scatological than the one I remember.

This silly song was brought to mind when we heard read of an army unit in Afghanistan that had had nothing but SPAM in the Quartermasters Store for several weeks after Taliban attacks on the supply routes stopped vital supplies getting through.

There was SPAM, SPAM,no beef or strawberry jam…

But an army marches on its stomach as Napoleon is reputed to have said and he’d know, the podgy little bastard. The SPAM diet is perhps not the best preparation for those who must go out and fight The Taliban.

Army chefs are among the best in the world however and the unit’s chief cook, Corporal Liam Francis did wonders with his limited resources. He served SPAM curry, SPAM casserole, Sweet and Sour SPAM, SPAM Carbonara, stir – fry SPAM in hoi – sin sauce with noodles, SPAM Stroganoff, even SPAM and Mushroom pie. Liam also told a Boggart Blog reporter he had offered to let the unit’s only female officer sample his SPAM in cider but she didn’t fancy it.



We hear fresh supplies have reached the camp now, much to the relief of the local Taliban squad who having admitted blowing up the food convoy found they were having the crap kicked out of them by soldiers denied a steak.

Politically Correct Military
More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Obama And Brown Hounded By Afghan Del Boy Brigade.

Barack Obama has finally announced what we all knew back in August and even Gordon Brown knew last week. America is sensing (I meant sending) more troops to Afghanistan, an additional 30,000 soldiers in fact. 9,000 are setting off later this week.

Let’s hope they all get their in time for Christmas so they can have a good Turkey dinner before they become targets in the Taliban turkey shoot.

Far from being pissed off about Obama’s decision and his appeal to other NATO countries to send a few extra people as well, Taliban leaders have said they are very happy with the arrangement. This might surprise people who have not closely followed events in Afghanistan, the consensus among pundits is if the coalition of the desperate pulled out the Taliban would be back in power within weeks. So why would they be pleased to prolong the war?

Boggart Blog reported last week the main supply route for allied bases is through the Khyber Pass and the Hindu Kush mountains. NATO supply convoys must travel a narrow mountain road that has always been vulnerable to attack by local tribesmen. Now the attacks are carried out by Taliban fighters and gangs working for local warlords. 70% of the supplies bound for American, British and NATO bases are being stolen by the enemy.

Obama and his sycophantic sidekicks see this latest troop surge as the final push to win the war and the defining decision of the Obama Presidency. The Taliban see continued resistance as good business.

Anyone who wants to buy a rocket propelled grenade launcher, American manufactured, never previously used, good price for cash, no cheques or plastic, no VAT, should contact Taliban Independent Trading.

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Harrassed In The Hindu Kush

Barack Obama is rehearsing the speech in which he will tell the American due to the brilliant success of his stategy he can now announce victory in the war and another 30,000 troops are being sent to Afghanistan to help organise the celebrations. Mean while Boggart Blog has learned a little more of how bad things are out there.

The main supply route is through the Hindu Kush mountains where Taliban fighters, bandits and tribal warlords are attacking the convoys and stealing 70% of the supplies.

Sending more troops will only mean we have to send more stuff for the Taliban to steal. No doubt if they can’t use it all themselves they will be selling it back to us.

Talk about being shafted up the Khyber Pass.

Afghan Woman

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Taliban Agree Ceasefire

Great headline isn’t it, one we all welcome but don’t get carried away. Though not noted for their commitment to the cause of freeman moxy The Taliban have agreed to a temporary ceasefire to allow the Presidential elections in Afghanistan to take place next week. Afghans will be able to go to the polls on election day without fear of being gunned down by the militant Muslim militia members.

A Taliban spokesman told Boggart Blog “ We, the Taliban, have no official candidate in the Presidential election so in the interests of fairness we decided to suspend hostilities in order to allow supporters of actual candidates to intimidate voters.”

A Rare Outbreak Of Sanity.

Amid all the kerfuffle in the past week about Afghanistan. What with the increase in casualties, Gordon Brown calling for more troops to be sent (but not allocating the money to send any), the senior officers saying OK, more soldiers would be very nice but we’d really like more guns that shoot, more boots that march, more helicopters that fly and a few tanks that don’t tank when you take them off-road, it has all become a bit silly.

New Labour has been accused of trying to fight a war on the cheap and retaliated by saying that their priority is nation building and to that end they must be sure funds are available to support civil rights groups for Afghan gay and lesbian single parents once the Taliban have been defeated.

The Americans are faring no better, with Barack Obama, angry at the Talibans’ refusal to comply with his diktat, asking “Don’t these people know I was elected President Of The World?” while his chief of operations (oil rich failed nations) talks of troop surges and The Department of Defense’s Politically Correct Thought Police talking about making the US military a tobacco free zone because allowing the sale of cigarettes and tobacco products on bases only encourages personnel to disregard the health risks. The US DoD Politically Correct Thought Police also feel if the Afghans see American soldiers smoking it will send out negative messages about the value of western style freeman moxy.

The report presented by health experts to the US Congress Defense Committee last week suggested all smoking by members of the US military be banned. Not just in camp but in war zones, everywhere, forever. It was quickly rejected. Quite right too. The very last thing soldiers need when they are holed up in a dugout in a hostile foreign country surrounded by heavily armed and bloodthirsty westerner-hating bastards is to reach into their kitbag for a ciggy and find instead an information leaflet saying “Smoking cigarettes can lead to many health problems in later life and even cause premature death in some cases.”

I wonder when the Politically Correct Thought Police were compiling the report and discussing how they should phrase the bit about health problems in later life they stopped to think of the odds against those soldiers having a later life.

The rejection of the report was a rare outbreak of sanity among the politically correct governments of the west. Unfortunately it did not get the coverage it deserved in the mainstream media.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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Obama’s Gift To The Taliban

Remember that song from the Mel brooks film The Producers? Yes, THAT song:
“Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”

Well the Boggart Blog team had the idea of doing a musical to show the cuddly side of The Taliban.
We were encouraged by the news of Barack Obama’s exit strategy for Afghanistan this week, which pledges to send thousands of civilian advisors to that troubled country.

Thousands of unarmed non – combatants wandering around the war zones. Oh sorry it’s not a war any more, its an Overseas Contingency Operation or some such thing. Even war has gone politically correct.

I don’t know about springtime, The Taliban probably think Christmas has come early. We will keep you informed on progress with our new musical about the Afghan war, The Old Honky Tonk In Helmund.

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