I Only Had Twelve Sex Orgies In Three Years Says Shagger Strauss Kahn

Femen prosters outside the courtroom probably sent completely the wrong message to Domique Strauss Kahn

Former future French President and Ex-IMF chief Dominique (Shagger) Strauss-Kahn (DSK), has told a court in northern France where he is currently on trial for pimping, that prosecutors had greatly exaggerated the frequency of his wild orgies in which busloads to prostitutes (paid for by you, me and all European taxpayers dear reader,) ot “licentious evenings,” as he preferred to call them.

In fact, the BBC reports, DSK was straight faced and totally deadpan as he told the court that he took part in only a few rare sex parties – “only 12 parties the last 3 years.”

Oh well that’s alright then. I mean, which of us does not cavort with a bus load of prostitutes in a luxury hotel at the expense of taxpayers at least once every three months?

Mr Strauss-Kahn is accused of helping procure sex workers for a prostitution ring based at a hotel in Lille.

He has argued that he did not know the women were prostitutes.

Although using prostitutes is not illegal in France, supplying them or assisting in supplying them is. Prosecutors have been quoted as saying Mr Strauss-Kahn, 65, played a pivotal role in facilitating the orgies, describing him as the “party king”.

If found guilty, the one-time potential candidate for the French presidency could face up to 10 years in jail and a €1.5m (£1.13m) fine.

As he took the stand on Tuesday, Mr Strauss-Kahn said: “I committed no crime, no offence.”

“The prosecution gives the impression of unbridled activity,” he told the court. But, he added: “There were only 12 parties in total – that is four per year over three years.”

(from BBC News)

Former IMF Chief On Trial For Pimping

It is some time now since we brought you the story of banker and supranational bureaucrat Dominique Strauss Kahn and his penchant for hiring prostitutes by the busload.

You may recall Strauss Kahn was in the news at the time for allegedly raping a New York hotel chambermaid having mistakenly assumed all chambermaid are prostitutes and that particular one had been provided for him as part of the service.

Ah well, as Boggart Blog has said many times before, so long as We The Punters continue to let these elitist shits behave as if they are above the law, they will continue to imitate medieval robber barons. And as well as stuffing his own and his families pockets with taxpayers’ money and availing himself of the generous expenses arrangements these people enjoy in order to indulge his bizarre sexual fantasies, Strauss Kahn had the audacity to feign injured innocence when he was caught.

The former future President Of France, who would surely have occupied The Elysee Palace now had he been able to keep his dick in is trousers is instead on trial. A trial, it has to be said that is turning into a Rabelaisian farce.

Dominique Strauss Kahn and some of his ‘researchers’ (picture: Spiegel)

An incident that emerged in court today, during the testimony of hooker Sandrine Vandenschrik, who told police that she witnessed the incident involving Strauss Kahn and a number of naked women at a four star hotel. “I was shocked – I didn’t want to get involved in this carnage,” she said.

Another witness also described a scene of “carnage with a heap of mattresses on the floor”, with Strauss Kahn in the height of “pure sexual consummation” with naked girls writhing all over his body.

Strauss Kahn, 65, is denying the allegations, claiming that he did not know the girls were prostitutes. “He really wants us to believe he’s naive and takes us for idiots,” said Miss Vandenschrik.

The former politician has admitted to a huge sexual appetite and enjoying “libertine” parties, but denies knowing that the girls were prostitutes, arguing that it was impossible to know what the girls did for a living because they were all naked.

FFS, you’ve got to laugh at the audacity of these people. But satirical blogging is really dead, you just couldn’t make this stuff up.

BTW Boggart Blog has no moral problem with prostitutes but as taxpayers we object to paying for cheap thrills for freeloading expenses troughers like this arsehole.

Bagpipe Music Accompanies The Highland Reel Of Economic Decline

Bank of England Chief Mervyn King warned “The global economy is running out of time.”

Britain is at risk from a deepening crisis in the world economy and we are running out of time if we want to do anything about it, the Governor of the Bank of England warned in another virtuoso performance of stating the effin’ obvious..

Despite central bank interest rates having been held so low for three years that us poor taxpayers now pay foreign banks to borrow from us, an economic stimulus programmed that used “quantitative easing” (effectively printing money) in an attempt to not stimulate the economy even a teeny bit (the banks borowed all the QE money at 0.5% and loaned it staight back to us at 3.0% and other emergency measures like paying people to buy new cars Mervyn King warned that governments had not yet addressed the underlying problem of overspending that was at the root of the financial crisis..” The consequences threatened to inflict pain on everyone”, he said. Threatened?

THREATENED?

What is the stupid arse belthering on about, threatened. The crisis has been inflicting pain for three years. A medieval torturer wearing a sudded codpiece and a gimp maSks would be hard pressed to inflict more pain that the policies of this government and the last one have. I’s time for a dose of reality and once again, as the direness of the latest economic figures sinks in, I am reminded of these words from the poem Bagpipe Music by Louis MacNeice

The glass is falling by the hour,

the glass will fall forever,

but if you break the bloody glass,

you can’t hold back the weather.

Too bloody right you can’t. But us ordinary punters saw what was coming so we have a right to expect the same from Mervyn bloody Thing and his smooth faced cronies.,

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From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back.

Yesterday’s report on the Bag O’Shite MPs’ expenses scandal concluded with the promise we would bring you further and even more astounding revelations about the bizarre expenses claims made by Members of Parliament.

Today we honour our promise.

Sir Michael Spicer (Con, Rawtenborough South) successfully claimed the cost of having a chandelier hung at his Manor House which he insists is his second home despite its having been in the family for about 3,000 years.

Sir Michael also claimed £5,600 over a period of nine months for “gardening costs.” The claim is insufficiently detailed for us to discern how much of this was due to labour costs and how much he paid per Bag O’Shite.

James Arbuthnot (aka The Hon. James Nigel Jeremy Rupert Ponsonby–Twat Arbuthnot claimed £2,700 last year for work on trees. Asked if he was aware of the rule stating: “Claims must only be made for expenditures necessary to enable members to perform their duties properly,” Arbuthnot told our reporter: How dare you question me, you despicable little oik, shouldn’t you be down a coal mine or something?”

The worst case of abuse of the system so far however is the claim submitted by Douglas Hogg, agriculture secretary in the last Conservative Government. He expected us poor taxpayers to pay for having the moat, YES, MOAT!!! around his castle cleaned.

When challenged by a Boggart Blog reporter about how he could possibly think this was a legitimate expense, this is what he said:

“Of course it is fair, Since this wretched Labour government abolished fox hunting the local meet have had to hunt chavs instead. After the hunt they throw the dead bodies in the moat. The stink is becoming intolerable.”

Taxpayers also forked out for “maintenance work in the stables of Hogg’s country home which brings us nicely back to the Bag O’Shite issue.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

THE DAILY STIRRER

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