Strictly Come Cruising

With its glitz, glamour and flamboyant routines, the world of ballroom dancing may seem an unlikely battleground for same-sex politics.

The Screaming Queens lobby have turned the volume up to eleven for today’s “We’re being denied the privileged status we demand,” scream, which relates to same sex couples and ballroom dancing

The feather boas are flying over a proposal that same-sex dancing partners should be banned from competitive ballroom dancing circuit.
Funny don’t you think how it’s the gay rights brigade who’ve decided to kick up a fuss although the ban would apply only to same sex dancing partners who may of course both be heterosexual. Are we dealing with professional victims here rather than professional dancers?

Members of the British Dance Council (BDC) are considering changing the rules to define a partnership as “one man and one lady” (lady, how quaintly old fashioned – but that’s ballroom for you), for all amateur and professional competitions, unless specifically stated otherwise.

Critics claim that the change in rules would mean same-sex couples may be “banned” from competing in all but a handful of specially designated competitions, despite facing no impediment to their participation until now.

Same-sex couples — both men and women — currently compete regularly across Britain, and have appeared on international versions of television snoozothon Strictly Come Dancing. Complaints have been raised arguing that, in the case of men, they have an advantage, due to their superior strength.

Peter Tatchell, simpering doyen of the gay rights lobby, said the ban would “probably be illegal” and Heather Devine, a dancer who, with her female partners, competes in competition wrote an open letter to the president of the BDC urging the proposal be rejected as it is unfair.

Is there going to be a similar outcry I wonder when the screaming queen lobby realise that the Lawn Tennis Association insists that “Mixed Doubles” matches may not include same sex teams?

But as usual (and unlike the neo Nazo gay lobby) Boggart Blog doesn’t demand that you agree with us, make up your own minds. Here’s a video of a female couple dancing that very sexy Latin American dance The Rhumba on the Israeli version of Strictly. Now I don’t mind watching a bit of girl on girl action but I think you’ll agree this is a tad too close to soft porn for primetime TV. And just think how creepy two blokes carrying on like this would look.

Eurovision Bearded Lady, A Victory For Leftist Hypocrisy

What a gay day, as the wonderful Larry Grayson used to quip. The bearded transvestite who won Eurovision has inspired much ribald humour, mostly outside the M25 it has to be said, while the hairy testicled ladies and limp wristed eunuchs inside the tarmac border of the the land of metrosexuality seem to think the ever more risible Eurovision Song Contest, by choosing a wierdo winner has struck a blow for … erm, something.

And of course the very best way to wind up lefties is to take the piss out of one of their politically correct darlings. So we had a field day with Conchita Wurst and his superfluous sausage.

Actually what it struck a blow for was hypocrisy. While media luvvies blubbered about how wonderful it was that “the people of Europe could unite behind such a brave contestant who dared to be different, some nations who thought their entries had had a rough deal were less than happy. And rightly so, if the bookies hadn’t stopped taking bets on who would win as soon as the bearded transvestite was announced, I would have placed a substantial wager on the bloke in a frock for the simple reason that in the Left’ Liberal Progressive Brave New Weird we live in, the behaviour of those creative and imaginative media types is utterly predictable so bearded lady with a dick could not possibly lose. Unfortunately William Hill, Ladbrokes, Corals, Paddy Power, Victor Chandler and Fred Done all knew this too.

Great isn’t it, how the luvvies who claim intellectual and moral superiority over those who are not reality challenged with always behave as a herd.

Conchita said as she accepted the trophy . ‘We are unity and we are unstoppable’. (Unity? George Orwell called it something else.) Unstoppable was right though, he – yes let’s use the dreaded ” H ” Word, Conchita has a dick – could only have lost against two bearded, Black African, Muslim ladies or a black, Irish, dwarf, crack addicted one legged lesbian, bipolar single parent.

Just help me out here, wasn’t a similar speech once given by another Austrian freak who sported considerably less facial hair.

Just as a matter of interest and because I know there are some people labouring under the misapprehension that the winner is decided by popular vote, WRONG! Its 50/50 public vote and panels of media luvvies experts. The Poles, who won the popular vote by a distance while the panel vote was unanimous, as if they had all been given instructions if you know what I mean possums. Some blabbermouth in Poland leaked that fact today.

I reckon we should all boycott the BBC and put the fuckers out of work, they’ve been taking the piss too long. But then I’ve been lobbying for us to pull out of the Eurovision fiasco for thirty years or more. Calling it a song contest is fraud.

Whether Tom Chivers Is A Science Writer, A Hack Journalist Or A Cunt Is A Matter Of Semantics

Civilisation Isn’t Over Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Last week at Victory Day military parades in Moscow and around the Russian Federation, The Kremlin displayed an awe inspiring array of Military Hardware:

russian hardware

There were ranks upon ranks of formidable tanks.

missile launcher

… and this monstrous item for launching an ICBM

mystery weapon

… and stuff that, well if there’s a war
we’ll find out soon enough just what it’s for.

conchita wurst

An the EU’s response to this? The Eurovision song contest put Conchita Wurst, a bearded transvestite upfront on the television.

(Fair play to the lad though, he’s go his wurst well tucked in.)

“Ooooh that’s one in the eye for nasty old Putin,” screamed the media luvvies. Yeah right. I just hope Putin does not decide to give us ‘one in the eye’ back because if he does we’re fucked.

Can’t help but feel Lily Savage would scare them more.

Stupid ex convict of the week

Crazy sex killer WLTM good looking, sophisticated lady for romantic dinners, country walks and possibly a shallow grave. GSOH essential.

It’s not the sort of thing you would put in your lonely hearts ad is it?

So imagine how the lucky ladies selected to appear on a TV dating program felt when they met a contestant who admitted to having killed an ex-wife and a former mistress.

Would it be understatement to say none was very keen to have dinner with him? This was the “great TV” moment on a Turkish TV dating game show titled “The Luck of the Draw.” Turkey’s Hurriyet Daily News posted the story on Twitter today.

Sefer Calinak, 62, appeared on the program as a contestant in search of his next wife. He stunned both the audience and host when he casually mentioned that he had killed his first wife and a former girlfriend. On the plus side he claimed he is an honest person who is seeking a new wife. Ideally he would like a person interested in a permanent though not necessarily long term relationship (I made that bit up)

Sefer married his first wife, who was also his kissing cousin, when they were both 17. After several months of marriage, he killed her in a jealous rage. For his crime, he served four years and six months of a 13-year prison sentence. He then married his second wife and had two children with her. Wife 2 got lucky, the marriage ended up in divorce court.

His next romance was with a married woman who decided not to leave her husband. After a heated argument over the rejection, Calinak killed her with an axe. The news report said he claimed self-defense because she tried to kill him. He also said it was an accident. He then spent six years in prison for the second killing.

Although the program knew he had killed at least one person, the producer had allowed Calinak to appear on the program because he served his time. After Calinak mentioned both killings, the program’s host asked Calinak to leave the show. The audience applauded the move.

The Ballad Of Max Clifford (with apologies to Oscar Wilde)

And so the saga ends and it is safe to go back in the media …

max clifford guilty

He did not wear his Crombie coat
as guards led him away
and underneath his snow white hair
his face was strained and grey
as all the people he’s stitched up
said “Clifford’s had his day”

No more the self regarding grin,
no smartphone at his ear,
celebrities who’d strayed and sinned
no longer lived in fear.
Clifford’s sent down to Wandsworth Jail
to rot for eight long year.

For no man is above the law,
by each let this be heard.
he thought he was untouchable,
the slimy little turd.
He had the dirt on everyone,
but none believed his word.

Now he walks among the convicts
in a suit of shabby grey;
no celebrities eat from his hand,
news editors no more obey.
No wonder he looks at the news
so wistfully each day.

No prisoner ever looked before
with such a wistful eye
on every bit of scandalous news
broadcast by BBC or Sky
and every screaming headline
over some new P.R. lie.

The Ballad of Reading Gaol by Oscar Wilde

oscar wilde reading gaol

Ultimate Fails Compilation

What a depressing day. George Osborne’s budget (what an inspiring speaker that man isn’t, and then Manchester United exit from the Champions League later, not that I care much but it means there will be eff all else on television. Football for the peak two hours followed by edited highlights of football later.

Still we British always have our stiff upper lip that enables us to soldier on the the face of adversity, our famous sense of humour and thanks to our Germanic ancestry, our love of Shadenfreude. Yes we shamelessly enjoy the misfortune of others. And why not?

Let’s declare today National Schadenfreude Day and celebrate it with this compilation of epic fails:

It’s worth watching all the way through.

Lost Malaysian Aircraft Echoes LOST Television Drama?

Lost TV Show Has Plane Going Down Near Malaysia 10 Years Ago! Both 777-200ER! Indeed, oo – er missis.

It’s starting to get silly now. Not only has the Malaysian Prime Minister allegedly called in tribal witch doctors to perform mystic rituals at Kuala Lumpur airport to prevent any other Boeing 777 going astray, some people are quite sure that the LOST television drama has somehow, spookily transferred to real life. I couldn’t say, by the end of the first series of Lost I had worked out they were dead (used a very similar idea for a short story in my now out of print and probably best forgotten 1970s award winning collection) so I couldn’t be arsed any more.

Lost BTW was an American serial drama television series that predominantly followed the lives of the survivors of a plane crash on a mysterious tropical island. There, they had to negotiate an unknown monster, an unpredictable group of prior occupants, strange, other worldly island inhabitants, polar bears, and each other as they tried to survive and attract rescue. The show ran for six years with, according to the review I just cribbed from, increasingly unlikely storylines.

Here’s what people are saying:

Malaysia Flight 370 was featured in Lost 10 years ago…
-Both 777-200ER Airplanes (Lost plane does not add the ER but it would have to have been to make the transpacific flight from Sydney to LA. ER means extended range)
-The number of TV passengers is 9, Malaysia is 11!
-A fake plane in the TV show went down in Bali in the Sunda trench. This trench runs around the bottom edge of Indonesia/Malaysia.
-In the pilot episode, they talk about people looking in the wrong place and being found by the black box signal. All this is going on now with Malaysia flight 370.

(This is bollocks, the plane in Lost was en route from LA to purgatory Sydney so it should not have been anywhere near the Malay Peninsula unless they flew the wrong way round the world (in that case, no wonder it crashed)

Jay Williams
I joked with someone five days ago about how they found the missing airliner telling them that it has shown up in the new TV show Lost 2…now this. Will wonders never cease?

This latest theater of the absurd has all the earmarks of the octopus shadow government. Could this be a real life Philadelphia Experiment? For what purpose? Keep your eyes on the Ukraine, maybe even the Kremlin. Perhaps it will show up flying into Putin’s bedroom as a fire-starter for WWIII conflagration.

Matt McLean
Am I the only one who thinks that someone was trying to copycat the show? Very strange that the flight had the exact same amount of passengers, aboard the exact same aircraft, flying in almost the same air space as Oceanic Flight 815 and vanished the same way. Furthermore, the pilot failed to make any contact with the ground, within the 14 minute window he/she had to do so. I’m no aviation expert, but this sounds like foul play to me!

Bryant Oliveira
Both 777’s with similar colors and design, both had passengers of multiple nationalities, both on the Southern Pacific side of the globe. It’s been suggested that 370 may have changed course and broke apart in mid air, which obviously happened to 815. Eerie, I myself, do not believe this to be coincidence.

Phillip Piggott · Perth, Western Australia
Both flights were on Boeing 777’s.
Permutations of flight 815 = 3108 (Lost TV).
Permutations of 239 people = 3108 (flight MH 370).
Identical! What are the odds?
3108 = 777+777+777+777.
Uh oh! Boeing 777!
Permutations of flight 370 = 2220.
2220 = 555+555+555.

3108 + 2220 = 5328.
5328 = 666+666+666+666+666+666.

Revelation 13:16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: 17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.(666).

It is a matter of worship. Either you worship God through Jesus Christ or Satan through Antichrist.

There is not much time left to choose. It is your choice.
nd there we have it, cheesy TV show come to life meets The Book Of Revelations. Or perhaps you have your own theory …

Death by Burger – Torture Or Game Show

Todays surprise news story was an item about Japanese cops being forced to eat fifteen burgers at at time to fatten toughen them up. What kind of crazy idea is it that eating burgers will toughen people up. It’s the kind of thing the Japanese do for fun or to win prizes.

Anyone remember Endurance, the Japanese game show regularly featured on Clive James On Television. Clive’s sardonic comments and references to the “screaming front man” were the perfect counterpoint to scences of people willingly allowing themselves to be subjected to: starvation and then forced to watch as tasty dinners were served to dogs; being sprayed with ice cold water from high pressure hoses, eating raw sheeps brains overseasoned with tabasco while standing on their heads; sit in a bath of cockroaches; hit in the bollocks with a cannonball and more bizarre tests, some as painful as being forced to listen to Bruce Forsyth telling jokes.

Compared to those things, eating fifteen burgers is a piece of cake (unless you are allergic to cake of course)

Remind yourself of the fun and excitement of Endurance by watching this video, or checkout the search listing below. These people make the idiots behind Jackass look like a bunch of pussies.

ENDURANCE: CATFISH, CACTI AND HOT SAND – Clive Janes show (sorry, can’t embed the video, it is copyright protected – you’ll have to follow the link.

MORE Endurance lunacy (search results for Endurance “Clive James” video)

Great post from The Daily Mash today:
Peanut allergic People Have To Find Something Else To Go On About

Miserable Buggers Should Not Be allowed To Hold Influential Positions

According to news reports today, the miserablist, testicle biting BBC commissioning editor Melissa Hardinge says sexy women should not be allowed on children’s television and the BBC should aim to provide good role models like former Blue Peter presenter Helen Skelton, who was sent on intrepid expeditions to the South Pole and the Amazon.

Has there ever been a more clear illustriation of the evil, feminist, left wing agenda at work within the BBC. OK, the aforementioned Helen Skelton his the sexual allure of cold porridge and while sending the irritating little goody two shoes up the Amazon was a great idea the BBC spoiled it by letting her come back.

But sex appeal is in the mind of the observer. I always thought another Blue Peter graduate, Anthea Turner, aka Princess Tippy Toes was so sexless her vagina had healed up and she was like a Sindy doll. Apparently though, a lot of men desperately wanted to knob her. There’s no accounting for taste.

Princess Tippy Toes
Princess Tippy Toes – Source – BBC

And how much poorer would the lives of my son (40 this year) and his generation have been without the sexy-without-trying Sally James of Tizwaz.

Sally James, not consciously sexy
The Not Consciously Sexy Chldren’s Presenter Sally James – oh, bad photo choice … Source
Try the next one down …

Sally JamesSource

You just can’t say, “No sexy women on Childrens TV.” Some women can’t help being sexy. And there’s always going to be someone out there who thinks Helen Skelton is the hottest thing since Vindaloo Curry.

Oxbridge bias equals unfunny comedy says Bob Mortimer

Good to see Bob Mortimer of Reeves and Mortimer fame sticking the boot in the elitist lefties who run the media.

Speaking to The Times, the co presenter of Shooting Stars and partner of Vic Reeves said, “I sometimes wonder, with the Oxbridge comics, the broadcasters seem to say, at some point, now I trust you to do a documentary, you can be the voice for a maths show, or whatever. I don’t think we’re ever considered in that way.
“You meet them and some are funny, some of them not so funny. I find it hard to believe that they are […] the funniest people on Earth.”

He’s right, some are funny and other are Marcus Brigstock, an upper middle class twat whose idea of funny is to stand on stage and talk about how screwed up, neurotic and pathetically uninteresting upper middle class twats are. Does he think we don’t have eyes or ears of our own with which to discern these things? And don’t get me started on Lee and fucking Herring.

A big part of the problem is the modern education system. Everybody, no matter what their social background is to go to university and be indoctrinated with middle class, politically correct values. People who have not followed that route do not get a look in. And unfortunately the middle class are not funny, middle class people do angst and embarrassment, working class people do mockery, irony, litotes (even if they don’t know how to spell it), and ridicule, all based on sharp observation and native intelligence and all rooted in personal experience even if it not their own personal experience.

Want to learn to do comedy? Work on the factory floor for a while. With that experience under your belt and the lesson Mel Brooks delivered to those who try to impose politically correct boundaries on comedy, “You can’t do comedy without bad taste,” you are far better equipped to make people laugh than any molycoddled Oxbridge graduate. Delivering a sociology lecture is not going to play well to an audience in the Byker and Gallowgate Welders and Riveters Club.

It is universities that are killing entertainment just as they are killing music, film, theatre and literature. These things thrive on diversity you see and universities, in the way they promote a monoculture, are the graveyard of diversity. Oh they might make a big deal of having quotas for people with different coloured skin, different gentials, different sexual preferences and different silly hats but these people will all end up with the same accent and attitudes.

What I fear most is that if we let these fascists continue unchecked we will have imposed on us a society that has no room for eccentricity, individualism, for people whose careers and material ambitions take a back seat to grand passions for growing begonias, playing tuba in the local brass band or studying the life cycle of the two toed toad.

A big problem is that mainstream society accepts to readily what is imposed on us. The reason we are no longer likely to meet a man who spent his entire working life as a centre lathe turner but in his own time and of his own volition has become and expert on the works of John Milton.

The attempts of such a person to join the academic debate would be scoffed at now, not because of amateurish ineptitude but simply because such a person would not possess a bit of paper issued by a university to certify he had kised enough academic arses to qualify him as intelligent and so guarantee admission to the club. It’s a closed shop just as the aristocracy was a closed shop before The Black Death and various wars killed off enough of the fuckers to make room for new blood.

Most Television comedy or drama is made by organisations managed and staffed by middle class, university educated types, whether it is BBC in house productions or independent producers, and like the rest of the media, government and the professions, it is dominated by a certain element of British society almost totally drawn from upper middle class arts graduates. To these people, the hand wringers and bleeding hearts, bleaters about civil rights and equality, the working class masses are the racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, absolute lowest of the low, even more despicable than the hated Tory toffs (Left wing intellectuallls have always despised the masses.)

And that sadly is the joke the posh boy and girl comedians will never get.

BTW your Boggart Bloggers are bohemians and two of us are old enough to remember what ‘liberal’ really means. We defy you to put us into any narrow class culture.