You’d Think Putin Was Trying To Piss Off Americans

One thing that has always pissed me off about Americans is not that they think their country is exeptional, that is perfectly understandable; we think Britain is exceptional, natives of France, Germany Italy, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, all the rest of Europe, Turkey, India, the Arab nations, Egypt, Morocco, everywhere that has a sense of nationhood and a well developed national culture people rightly think their country is exceptional. No, it’s that when Americans, especially politicians and journalists, start banging on about American exceptionalism, they expect us to agree with them or at least grant them exemption from local customs and traditions relating to good manners.

So when a politician with a cruel streak like Vladimir Putin punctures their bubble we must suspect he is playinmg mind games with Obama again, trying to goad Bammy into ordering an attack on Syria without United Nations approval maybe.

The Russian president article warning America against military intervention in Syria was published on The New York Times’ website late Wednesday, triggered and outrage among the American chatterati (who you may remember launched hate bombs against President Dubya when he spoke of American exceptionalism).

Democratic Sen. Robert Menendez said the piece made him almost want to throw up (but as Menendez has a track record for hiring teenage prozzers and throwing up on them, which makes Cyril Smith look a pretty ordinary sort of guy) we can’t be sure which way this should be taken. House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner said he was so insulted it gave him a hard on. With a name like boner, we’d guess everything gives him a hard on.

Putin said he wrote the article ”to speak directly to the American people and their political leaders.”

But his last paragraph in which he disputed the idea of American exceptionalism appeared to be more about slaughtering sacred cows.

In a reference to President Obama’s address on Tuesday night, in which he said that while America can’t be a global cop, it ought to act when in certain situations.

“That’s what makes us exceptional,” Obama said. “With humility, but with resolve, let us never lose sight of that essential truth.”

Huymility? America? Told you Obama was a cupid stunt.

Putin’s answer to that was:

“It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as exceptional, whatever the motivation,” he wrote.

He concluded with the line, “We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord’s blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.”

Obama himself ignored questions about the op-ed on Thursday but his chief spin doctor, Jay Carney, said that Putin has a right to his opinion, before stating that America is an exceptional nation as if it were an indisputable fact.

Democratic Party Leader Nancy Pelosi questioned Putin’s views on equality.

“What I found interesting was the closing — when he says when we pray to God he judges us all – I don’t know exactly what his words are but he says `we are all God’s children.’ I think that’s great. I hope it applies to gays and lesbians in Russia as well,” Pelosi said.

Actually gays and lesbians are equal in Russia, why do American politicians think these groups should not be treated like shit the same as everybody else.

What I found interesting about the athieist Putin’s comments was that reference to God. How far into his cheek was his tongue I wonder.

Read more from this writer:
Phobophobia – Fear Of Being called Phobic?
Obama Implosion – Is The US Military Close To Mutiny Over Obama’s alliance With Al Qaeda

Britishness for Dummies (with quiz)

There has been a lot of talk about Britishness recently, most of it centring on the willingness of migrants to integrate by accepting British ways and customs.

would be immigrants have gone so far as to convert to Christianity in order to prove they are genuine in their acceptance of British values. To counter this Immigration officials have developed a set of questions aimed at weeding out the apostates by testing their knowledge of British customs and traditions.

Among these are:
How would you go about cooking a Christmas Turkey?
What kind of decorations would you put on a Christmas Tree.
How should Christmas pudding be served

Now apart from the misapprehension that Christmas is a purely British thing, that Turkey is a traditional British Christmas treat (its actually very recent) and that Britain is a Christian nation, the Immigration people need to understand a few things. Christmas Trees are of course a pagan tradition from Germany, introduced by Prince Albert around a hundred and fifty years ago, goose is centre of the traditional British Christmas mean and erm, well, most of us haven’t been to church since our granny’s funeral so if the Immigration people were right we would quickly solve the housing crisis by deporting more than half the population.

Find out how British you are. Take the Boggart Blog Britishness quiz.

1 What is the motto on the Royal Arms
a)Dieu et mon droit
b) Britannia rules the waves
c) ‘ere we go ‘ere we go ‘ere we go

2 Who is the husband of the head of the Royal family
a) Prince Phillip of Battenberg
b) Ricky Tomlinson
c) Some greasy foreign bastard

3) What is Britain’s favourite food
a) Chicken Tikka Masala
b) Fish and chips
c) anything so long as it is boiled to destruction

4) If you draw a line from the Mersey to the Humber which side of that line can the best beer and the best football teams be found.
a) south of the line
b) north of the line
c) what are the Mersey and the Humber?

And about our European neighbours. Tell us what you think of:

5) The French ?

a) The cultural ties between our nations are so strong that though we are
different nations politically we are truly one people.
b) They eat a lot of garlic but their accents are sexy
c) They’re a bunch foreign bastards

6) The Italians ?

a) The Romans brought to these islands culture, civilisation, law and
language. Italy’s role in the forming of western culture is immeasurable
b) Anyone who gave us Lasgne and Ferraris can’t be bad
c) They’re a bunch of foreign bastards

7) The Germans ?

a) German philosophy has changed the way we view the world while
their technical innovations have provided indispensable tools for industry
b) They’re very clean and efficient
c) Two world wars and one world cup.

8) The Belgians ?

a) A small nation of educated, tolerant people who have contributed much in
the fields of art and science.
b) They make nice chocolate
c) Who?

9) A question on British culture. Which was the best Morcambe and Wise Christmas
special ever?

c) They were a couple of nancy boys, I prefer Alf Garnett.

10 Who was the greatest Briton ever

a) Shakespeare
b) Winston Churchill
c) Homer Simpson

How do you rate?

Mostly As and Bs.
Foreigner, you lot think you can come here and have an easy life claiming
benefits and living in council houses. You seduce our women and cause NHS
waiting lists by turning up at hospital for free treatment every time you have
a hangover and support foreign football teams like Chelsea and Tottenham. Clear off, there’s nothing here for the likes of you.

Mostly Cs
Congratulations. You are British through and through in fact you are probably a member of the BNP, have a bulldog tattooed on your arse and support West Ham United (even if you are a northerner). This precious pearl set in a silver sea is the home of Kings and heroes and it is YOUR home too.
So we can expect you to cheer loudly when we close all the Indian, Chinese
and Italian restaurants, ban the import of German and Spanish beer and Japanese cars. You will be delighted when we ban cheap clothes from China and you have to pay £75 for a pair of Levis because you are proud to be BRITISH.

BTW The proper way to cook Brussels sprouts for Christmas dinner is to put them on Nov. 5th and keep them simmering until December 25th. The proper way to cook a Christmas turkey is forget to defrost it and have sausage sandwiches with brown sauce.

Maundi Mercenary?

Yesterday, observing a tradition that dates back over 1200 years, The Queen distributed maundi money to “the poor” in London.
Now Maundi money cannot be spent these days (who is intetrested in groats, apart from prerverts maybe?) but it probably has even greater worth that it ever did in medieval times.
So Boggart Blog is looking for a bookie who will take our bet on the coins being up for auction on e-bay by tomorrow morning.