Hypocrites: Green Party Voters Take Most Long Haul Holiday.s

I was going to give blogging a rare miss today (trouble with mobile technology is it follows you everywhere) and have a quiet weekend but I just had to post on this story of hypocrisy and double standards from followers of a left wing party who are always telling us we must reduce our carbon footprint. no surprise of course, we’d actually be shocked if lefties showed any sign of honesty or even awareness of the double standards they operate.

In spite of The Green Party’s professed affection for the environment and hatred of CO2 emissions, their penchant for rope sandals and hemp knickers (designed by Versace or Armani of course, and expensive enough to reassure the leftie poseurs of their status) Green Party supporters are most likely to book a long-haul holiday, flying thousands of miles round the globe so they can patronizingly lecture people who cook over dried dung fires on the need to reduce Carbon dioxide emissions.

The survey by website Travelzoo (details not available online – h/t our travel expert and marathon girl Cleo Hart who works for a firm that arranges very expensive, CO2 intensive jollies for rich people) found that Green Party supporters were more likely to book a gas-guzzling hire car rather than take a bus or tram and were most likely to steal hotel toiletries (which isn’t climate relevant but shows what a bunch of twunts Greens and lefties are).

Travelzoon questioned 3,000 Brits about their travel habits and political allegiance. UKIP supporters were the most likely to prefer a hot a destination, with 90 per cent of them admitting to being sun-seekers, however they were much less likely than Conservatives so go for luxury holidays, preferring budget breaks instead (Coz they’re real people who are no so insecure or self loathing they have to pretend to care about third world peasants and polar bear to court the Facebook likes that give them self-esteem.

Meanwhile, Liberal Democrats were most likely to book a cruise and Labour supporters most likely to go all-inclusive (What? Labour, the party of the working class, don’t make their supporters take holidays at Mrs. Vinegartit’s Charnel House B & B in Carbuncle on the Groyne – disgraceful.).

Louise Hodges of Travelzoo said: “We were very surprised to see that Green Party supporters are the most likely to fly long-haul. Perhaps less surprising was the tourist profile of a typical UKIP supporter, which appears to be that of a sun-loving, bargain-seeking traveller who likes an English breakfast and is more inclined than others to speak English when abroad.”

Well if you are not going to vote UKIP I suggest you STF up about green issues, you hypocrites, or perhaps just fuck the fucking fuck off because we are sick of you habitual polluters telling us we must do as you say, not as you do. And on your way, redistribute wealth by giving all you money to hard up Third World Tyrants; they need a bit of help with the task of slaughtering half their people . Welcome to planet refuckingality.

And you elitists who talk about ‘making the world fairer’, us little people, you know, we can’t afford to jet off round the world so we aren’t happy at being told we should give up our budget holidays to help ‘the poor’. So really its down to you overpaid, underemployed, hand wringing, breast beating, wailing, gnashyteething, breastbeating do gooders. Try practicing what you preach for a change.

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PhD Scientist Published Academic Paper On Locating Time Travellers

Let’s face it, most of us don’t know a lot about Time Travel beyond what we have learned from watching Doctor Who. But it seems some scientists are getting quite excited about it. Brian Cox PhD (which stands for Phenomenally Dumb) is quite convinced it is possible to travel forward in time but not to get back.

That is great news, now all we need is for someone to develop a system capable of transporting the irritating bell end a million years into the future.

doctor who tardis
Source: blogspot commons

But barmy Brian is not the only mad scientist who thinks Doctor Who is a travel documentary like those things Michael Palin does. Some people who want us to take them seriously think there are time travellers amongst us (this is nothing to do with David Icke BTW). According to a real study conducted by pair of physics professors at Michigan Technical University, there may be a way to locate time travelers—and it involves Twitter.

Just for the sake of argument, let’s pretend time travel is possible. Wouldn’t we know about it? Wouldn’t we be aware that we had just sat next to Oscar Wilde on the bus, or been chatting to Isaac Newton at the bar? The fact that we aren’t aware of any time travelers ought to suggest there aren’t very many rattling around in the infinite, eternal universe.

And human nature being what it is, you can bet some irresponsible scientific fucker would nip back to prehistoric time and infect mitochondrial Eve, the one woman from whom, according to some different mad scientists, we are all descended. Of course if this happened none of us would have been born so we would not know about it.

Published last month while critical sectors of the media were busy with their Christmas jollies, ‟Searching the Internet for evidence of time travelers” is a serious minded attempt to find real-world Marty McFlys by searching for information online that couldn’t have been posted without foreknowledge of the future.

Don’t laugh, it’s true. back in November I was reading that peter Capaldi was going to be the next Doctor Who. And in August I stumbled on a Tweet that said the weather would soon be getting cooler. Time is not what we think it is.

‟Were a time traveler from the future to access the Internet of the past few years, they might have left once-prescient content that persists today,” the authors speculate. ‟Alternatively, such information might have been placed on Internet by a third party discussing something unusual they have heard. Such content might have been catalogued by search engines such as Google…or Bing…or remain in posts left on Facebook…Google Plus…or Twitter.”

The future of humanity posted on Twitter – yeah, right.

Having visited the future on your behalf the Boggart Blog science correspondent predicts that if we do not close the universities and get the poor, mad clowns responsible for wasting our hard earned on this kind of shit back into padded cells so they are no longer a danger to themselves and others, they will surely destroy civilisation – or at least intelligent thought.

Whoa There, Fiat, This Is A Family Newspaper

So there I was just flicking through BBC’s copy of the Independent when I came across an item advertizing the Fiat 500.
The blurb went something along the lines of “We’ve made our little car a bit bigger so if you have a family you can still have a cinquecento.”

But then it continued that if you didn’t have a family you might like to park up somewhere private and get down to the business of trying to create one.

What???

This is a family newspaper!

Aren’t these organs of information dissemination meant to be a little bit responsible?

Should they really be featuring ads encouraging such wanton behaviour in public?

Or is it safe advertising your cars capacity for flagrant fornification as long as it comes in the poly-bagged section?

A couple of days later we followed a bus with the following advert displayed on the back,

“Child restraints in cars save lives.”

Perhaps for all Cinquecento drivers that should read,
“Restraint in cars saves births.”

Is That An Offensive Weapon Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?

A passenger at San Francisco airport was subjected to a “thorough search” after security personnel noted a long protruberance down his left thigh, which they assumed to be an offensive weapon.

The search revealed that Mr. Jonah Falcon was not a nascent terrorist but merely the owner of the world’s largest penis.

Mr. Falcon explained, “I had my stuff strapped to my left thigh. One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said ‘Yes It’s my dick.'”

Whilst well endowed in certain departments it is obvious that Mr. Falcon is not a master of one line put downs.

Magic In Barnsley

Barnsley is magic!

It must be.

Here’s the proof.

In Toy Story Buzz Lightyear, a magical toy, declares “To infinity and beyond!”

Peter Pan, the very magical lost boy of Never Never Land, gives these simple directions to the merely mortal Peter and Wendy,

“Right at the North Star and straight on till morning!”

Barnsley has a roadsign up.

“Roadworks!

Dodworth Road to the end of March.”

Oooh I could drive along there and end up in April.

Magic!

Marmite! You Either Love It Or Hate It!

Hubby rises at 5.15am as he has to travel to Leicestershire this morning.He’s off on his way at just gone six, plenty of time to get there.
Quarter past seven he still hasn’t made it to J34, Meadowhell,which usually takes about 10 to 15 minutes, traffic’s all snarled up.
We turn on the radio for an update.
A tanker has overturned between J33 and J32 and spilt 20 tons of Marmite onto the motorway, closing both carriageways.

Marmite! You either love it or hate it!

Don’t think I’ll be suggesting toasted crumpets with marmite for breakfast tomorrow!