Next Pope Must Be Black Say Lefties. Homophobic, sexist, condom hating but black?

It’s all so predictable really. No sooner was the ink dry on Pope Benedict’s resignation letter than the lefties politically correct lefties of the Anglosphere were screaming that the next Pope must be black (political correctness is a phenomenon unknown outside the English speaking nations.) Why not? And while we’re at it, the next King or Queen of England should be black and also the next Emperor of Japan, President of Russia and Chief of the chuffing Eskimos.

PR isn’t really modern Catholicism’s strong point however which could save the lefties from the most embarrassing exposure of their collective stupidity ever. Pity really, the religion of Political Correctness poses a far greater threat to civilisation that any Crusades, Jihads or Evangelical revivals.

black-pope
Announcing The First Black Pope

In a few weeks time they’re going to establish a new Papal Conclave. If the leaders of the Catholic Church have any sense they will dispense with the usual secrecy and mysticism and ask Simon Cowell to organise the process. With Graham Norton presenting the televised voting rounds – though all things considered perhaps Graham would not be the best front man. Pity they feel so strongly about homosexuals, I love to see the Cardinals being put in ‘The Red Chair.’

Technically the selection of a Pope is supposedly a reflection of God’s will. Given that last time they picked a guy who had been in the Hitler Youth perhaps God needs a good PR man too. Catholicism needs a game changer rather than a gesture Pope. The leftie Black Pope lobby are saying in effect “It’s an anachronistic, reactionary religion and … oh a black Pope will change all that at a stroke (of an altar boy?)”

A Black Pope could turn out to be the left’s worst nightmare. Catholicism is a conservative religion, African tribal societies are deeply conservative because that is the nature of tribal societies. So a Black Pope could bring a double dose of homophobic, sexist, condom hating conservatism to his chair as head of the world’s billion Roman Catholics.

Bookies Paddy Power are quoting odds already. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Canada at 3-1 and Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana at 7-2, (with Richard Dawkins a rank outsider at 666/1).

If the Black Pope lobby got their way, Turkson would be home and hosed now. but if he did get the job it could sink the left’s negrophilia forever. A black Pope is the liberal establishments worst nightmare. I remember left wing feminists in Britain screaming for a woman Prime Minister. Then they got Margaret Thatcher, still spiritual leader of global laissez faire conservatism.

If moral relativism is the Left’s Achilles heel, then racial moral relativism is the Left’s broken spine. Dine out in north London, and you find yourself tripping over veterans of the protests against Apartheid in South Africa. Seek out veterans of the protests against the Mugabe regime or protests against punishment beatings and stonings of homosexuals in Uganda and executions in Malawi, and you’ll be disappointed.

Pope Turkson would mess with the Left’s head. A Ghanian becomes the most influential black man on the planet (far more influential than Barack Obama) HOORAY!. But he also rejects the use of condoms to fight the spread of HIV BOO!. He’s a fierce critic of global capitalism, and a strong advocate of banking reform HOORAY!. But he’s also dismissed African homophobia as “commensurate with tradition” BOO!. Asking lefties what they thought of him would be like putting the proverbial idiot on a circular room and asking him to piss in a corner.

Even if the liberal intelligentsia, the chatterati, overcome their fear of being thought racist and fight it, they cannot influence the outcome and as the election of Pope Benedict showed the Catholic Church is not influenced by the squawking of outraged lefties in Britain, New York and California. If Turkson’s Papacy comes to pass, when it is revealed what kind of Roman Catholic lies beneath his sacramental skin tone the left will have to eat their words. Words like these: “The young tearaway who’s in the running to be the next Pope” The Independent’s 2010 billing of the “handsome, modest and very intelligent” Turkson back in 2010. “A renowned champion of the poor and marginalised” was the description on the Left Foot Forward web site which was down when I tried to get the link to the article.

The Red Chair on The Graham Norton Show – Perfect for electing a new Pope?

Cardinal Sin?

I heard on the news that the people in charge of Westminster Abbey are senDing memberS of the boys choir to The Vatican to sing for the Pope.

The Vatican? The Headquarters of the Roman Catholic Church. There are more priests in The Vatican than there are germs on a month old sausage.

And he people at Westminster Abbey are sending a bunch of little boys there?

HAVE THEY GONE RAVING MAD?

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St Thérèse gig at Paddy’s Wigwam

Who would have thought it possible? St Thérèse is touring the UK again. Last week she was packing them in at the Paddy’s Wigwam venue in Liverpool. People queued round the block to get in we hear and the “Little Flower” is drawing bigger crowds than Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet on their comeback tours.

It says a lot for the pulling power of the Saint and her band The Carmelites when you realise there is less left of the lead singer than there is of the original Sugarbabes. Punters in the ’pool last week and this week in Manchester and Birmingham are quite happy to pay for their tickets knowing all they will see of the original act is a thighbone, a finger and a couple of ribs. That is more than anyone at a Slade gig will see of the original band while people paying to see 1950s harmony group The Drifters who are still working the cabaret circuit will see five guys who were not even born when the group was at its peak.

I guess any St. Thérèse and The Carmelites gig must rely heavily on session musicians and backing singers. But what happened to the band you might well ask? Did member suddenly start to spontaneously combust on stage like Spinal Tap drummers had a way of doing, or were they wiped out in a bizarre gardening accident. Well no, after the death of their leader in 1897 the band gradually decomposed.

The rest is an all too familiar story of greedy and exploitative management by Vatican Enterprises Inc. and the manipulation of talented but naïve people. Parts of St. Thérèse are now touring the six inhabited continents. Her skull and the bones of an arm tour the Catholic nations of Europe, six ribs and her pelvis work the American circuit and other bits are busy in Africa and Asia.

St. Thérèse, know to her fans in France as Petit Fleur was destined to become a legend in her own lunchtime but she lived her life in poverty and never enjoyed the rewards of her success. Like Eva Cassidy, her career only too off after her death aged twenty three, by a mystical coincidence the age at which Buddy Holly died.

(As it happens my wife was named after St. Thérèse though one would hesitate to apply the sobriquet Petit Fleur had you hear her giving our son a bollocking yesterday.)

The fragmentation is modest by Catholic standards. Medieval saints were much more prolific. St Augustine apparently had thirty four little fingers, S. Francis eighteen ribs and Jesus himself had eleven foreskins if medieval records are to be believed. Some of these relics are still touring after a thousand years. From this we can see The Rolling Stones could keep going for centuries.

Bigger Than The Pope – More on the St. Therese tour from The Independent.

Pictures of Paddy’s Wigwam as it is affectionately know from the official Liverpol Metropolitian Cathedral web site. This page is a must see for people who need convoncing that modern architecture can be beautiful.

Blair 2 – Tony, The Papal Emmissary.

What have we learned recently about Tony Blair? Well, that he’s a c ….; yes but we’ve always known he’s one of those, I was going to say that he’s a Catholic. A very recent recruit to the Catholic Church in fact. So as most Catholics are still practising after half a lifetime we have a right to expect Tone would have spent a bit more time learning the ropes before he starts lecturing more experienced Catholics on how to be good members of their religion.

Ah but Tony Blair is no ordinary mortal, he is a one man insurgency, an agent of the Dark Lords of globalisation whose job is to work insidiously to subjugate our free will, inhibit our ability to think and act of our own volition and to control our thought processes.

Since he somewhat fell from grace in the wake of the debacles in Iraq and Afghanistan the festering gobshite has been working to convince us he is really one of the good guys and is on our side and not the kind of two faced, self adoring scum – sucker who would betray his people and his nation for a smidgin of personal glory. His latest ruse in furtherance of that aim is to blether on ad nauseum about his love affair with The Vatican.

“Catholics,” he told an audience of Catholics, “should not allow aggressive secularism to gain traction in the west but should stand up for justice and solidarity.”

This may sound a bit hypocritical coming from a man whose government created a debt fuelled boom by encouraging people to get in over their heads so they could enjoy cheap facsimiles of the lifestyles Blair’s billionaire buddies habitually enjoy. But if anybody was feeling a tad embarrassed there was more on the way.

“The role of faith,” continued Tone, “is to represent God’s truth, not limited by human frailty.”

Well he should know about human frailty having himself been addicted to wealth, fame and power.

The former Prime Minister also reminded his congregation on the poor Mediterranean island of Sardinia where he had a stopover while holidaying on the five decked luxury yacht of software billionaire and Bilderberger Larry Ellison, that their religion requires of them humility (sic), compassion, charity and a rejection of wealth and materialism.

If people can comply with these requirements, Blair said, they will be granted knowledge that passes all understanding.

Blair has certainly been granted arrogance and vanity that passes all understanding but does he really think people are too stupid to work our what he is really saying, that people should forego the benefits of living in an advanced society and give up all their money because his billionaire buddies need much much more. It costs plenty to keep a five decked luxury yacht on the ocean you know and the super rich elite deserve every penny they can steal from you.

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Here’s an interesting post Obama’s Meaningless War As you read it, bear in mind the commenters on this blog who are singing Tony Blair’s praises for the good work he is doing in Afghanistan. These people either have PhDs in Stupid or are very very young because they seem oblivious to the fact that if the traitor and war criminal Blair had not agreed to support Bush’s invasion of Afghanistan, Bush would have hardly dared go in alone and the whole bloody (literally) mess would not have started. So rather than talking about what a wonderful dude Blair is for saying how we should all join hands and sing Kum-fucking-bya, thousands of Afghan men, women and children would not have died had that self serving piece of shit had shown the slightest trace of moral fibre.

People who come to this blog and post insuting comments should expect no mercy.

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More humour every day at Boggart Blog

THE DAILY STIRRER
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Proof of Parentage?

My dear friends, I need your help and support. My life has taken on the characteristics of a soap opera storyline and I am in traumatic shock.
After going through nearly 57 years (I’m 39 OK? I had a problem with a time warp some years back,) believing I was the scion of a long line of degenerates, debauchees, boozers, gamblers, womanisers, bookies and newspapermen, oh and an Aunt who did an enormous service for the war effort from 1939 to 45 – she was a tonic for the troops, I have learned from the View From The Vatican blog that I may in fact be the illegitimate son of Pope Benny Ratzo…read full Proof Of Parentage post here

The Da Vinci Code
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East Enders (UK Soap Opera)
Dot Cotton (iconic character in above)