Skip To The Loo

Off to Penistone Paramount last night, the local cinema cme theatre, for the Comedy Club. It’s very civilised at the Paramount, the seats are comfortable and well spaced, plenty of leg room, good clear view of the screen/stage from wherever you sit. And they’ve got a bar. When they are in cinema mode they still have an intermission so that you can get a half-time pint.

So out show was due to start at 8pm, the doors opened at 7pm and the bar was soon doing a roaring trade, pre-show drinks, orders for interval drinks.

At 8.15 the lights went down and the compere, Toby Foster, local radio DJ, arrived on stage, getting the audience in the mood for the first turn, a young man by the name of Christian Reilly, and his guitar. Christians act centres around his music and we found it tear inducingly funny.

However something was up with the locals. There was fidgeting down our row and then a man made his way past and dashed into the toilets. He was quickly followed by two others.

“The Penistone Cottagers?” I mused to hubby, but no, very soon, while Chris was stil up there on stage singing a song about fellatio, there were streams of men going to the loo.

“How rude,” (as in bad mannered) I thought. But then I reasoned there must be a cause.

Undiagnosed diabetes? Most of the chaps were in their forties and some of them quite stocky.

Prostate problems? That makes you chaps pee a lot doesn’t it?

I resolved to mention it to my doctor friend when next we meet.

By now nearly every male in the place was going to the toilet, Chris had taken to playing a little ditty,
Skip to the loo,
skip to the loo,
will it be a pee or
will it be a poo?
but these guys were unabashed, as they queued, shuffling at the toilet doors – and ladies I can’t tell you what a gratifying sight that was.

Then Chris called it a day and we went to the interval.

It was then that the mystery was solved. The Paramount has gone metric, it now sells its ale in 1/4 litre glasses, for the girlies, 1/2 litre glasses for the lasses and puffs, and in 1 litre glasses for the real men.

Yep all the blokes were drinking litres as opposed to pints and consequently having to go for a pee twice as often.