Woman Spontaneously Combusts In Germany

from Yahoo News

A woman is fighting for her life as a result of ‘spontaneous human combustion (SHC)’, it has been reported.

The woman, originally from Mauritius, was sitting on a park bench and engulfed in flames when she was spotted by a passer-by in the north German town of Flensburg.

The passer-by rushed to her aid and attempted to use his coat to beat out the flames, but the woman – believed to be in her 40s – was left with severe burns all over her body, according to the MailOnline.

After being taken to a local hospital she was airlifted to a specialist burns unit in Lubeck where she remains in a critical condition

Prosecutor Ulrike Stahlmann-Liebelt, who is running the investigation, said: ‘The victim has lived in Flensburg for a long time and has family here.’

The prosecutors have not yet ruled out a suicide attempt.

SHC is a much disputed phenomenom and has in the past been used to explain instances of a human burning with no discernible external trigger.

The possible causes of SHC still baffle experts even today but there are studies that suggest alcohol consumption, proximity to potential sources of ignition and other behavioural habits can be a factor.

I think the woman became so depressed because she lived in a Bleak House, her body’s natural temperature regulator just gave up

Man Drives Dead Girlfriend From Arizona To Detroit (but she was wearing a seatbelt)

Ray Tomlinson (62) took the most bizarre trip of a lifetime when he drove his dead girlfriend, 31-year-old Christine Gilbert,across the USA for 26 hours. Tomlinson will not be facing any charges however, the dead girlfriend was wearing her seatbelt while riding in the passenger seat during the 1,900-mile road trip across the country from Arizona to Michigan, reported WLWT5 on June 6. And apparently under US federal law it is not a crime to transport a stiff in a car so long as as all passengers are wearing seat belts (and so long as the stiff isn’t driving of course)

According to Warren police Deputy Commissioner Louis Galasso, the strange cross country trip ”involved some ‘bizarre’ judgment and behavior, but wasn’t criminal.”

Ray Tomlinson is from Detroit in Michigan and was on a road trip from Arizona to Michigan when his girlfriend Christine died. Christine had been in a mental health facility in the Phoenix area, and when she left there with Tomlinson on Sunday, she was alive.

On Monday, as the couple was driving through the southwest U.S., Tomlinson discovered that his girlfriend’s body was cold. While a toxicology test is still being performed, police suspect that Christine might have taken too much oxycodone. “I went like this, you know, nudged her, at this point in time she was stiff,” said Tomlinson. “There wasn’t jerking or moans or groans, or cries for help, she just fell asleep.”

When Tomlinson discovered that his girlfriend had passed away while being on the road, he checked on what to do about a corpse on his cell phone. Of course, the answer was to take the dead body to a hospital or a morgue, but for Tomlinson the question was to which hospital or morgue.

Even though Tomlinson was in disbelief about his girlfriend’s death, he was determined to do the right thing – which was to get his mom home. “He said he had his 92-year-old, wheelchair-bound mother in the van and wanted to get her home.”

We say the boy do good. Look what happened when Granny Griswald died while on a long road journey in National Lampoon’s vacation …

When Did The Daily Mirror Merge With National Enquirer?

mars attacks
Mars attacks (picture source)

So when was that once upon a time respectable newspaper The Daily Mirror taken over by The National Enquirer or The Sunday Sport. I was just blogging over on Little Nicky Marchiavelli about conspiracy theories that just cannot be taken seriously and straight away I find this – the gods of blogging truly smile upon Boggart Blog …

“Retired US Marine claims he spent 17 years on MARS protecting five human colonies from Martians The – Daily Mirror

The retired officer, known only as Captain Kaye, also claims to have served in a secret ‘space fleet’ run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force.

The ex-naval infantryman, who uses the pseudonym Captain Kaye, says he was posted to the Red Planet to protect five human colonies from indigenous Martian life forms.

He claims he then spent nearly three years serving in a secret ‘space fleet’ run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force, which recruits military personnel from countries including the US, Russia and China.”

Read full article at The Daily Mirror

All I can say is maybe this soldier was involved in the US Military’s program to develop and weaponize mind bending drugs.

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My Little Porny

If you thought you had heard it all, if you thought the internet had already sunk to the deepest depths of depravity, you were wrong. The latest treding item on the creepy but strangely comical fringe of the world wide web is My Little Pony porn.

Yes, you did just read the phrase My Little Pony porn. What kind of sick creeps would post My Little Pony porn online you might well ask.

It should be quite easy to think of at least one, guys and gals, as it happens, yes indeed, yes indeed. But he’s dead and Stuart Hall is in prison so WTF is going on. Are there more total sickos out there than we imagined?

It seems that an undesirable element among fans of the popular childrens’ TV show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” have started creating porn animations dealing with the ponies in the show.

This is a common occurrence with cartoons, and many innocent shows end up becoming hentai or cartoon porn. My Little Pony porn is particularly weird and alarming however due to the fact that the show is targeted towards children of five and under.

Since we live in the age of technology, many young kids, even at 4 years old know how to get online and look up their favorite things. The fact that this stuff comes up in a normal My Little Pony search results should alarm some parents.

Some of the photos can actually get a bit graphic, even showing penetration and other sexual acts that kids shouldn’t see. I’m not going to give yuou a link to any such sites because that would mean visiting them but here’s a link to my search results for my little pony porn
This shite is real you see.

Who would watch this kind of porn, or spend time making it it for that matter. Don’t answer, that was a rhetorical question. I really would rather not know as I have no wish to face murder charges.

The animations depict famous characters such as Pinkie Pie and others taking part in sexual activities including penetration. Most of these pictures are accompanied by lurid narratives to aid the viewer’s masturbation enjoyment. Why people would look at this is up for answers. However it does exist, and once again demon-strates what a great folly it was to close the mental hospitals.

my little pony pinkie pie

Pinkie Pie demonstrates the twerking pose made famous by Miley Cyrus

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A Dragon Flies Over Truro

Now I know some among you who have relied on your belief in reason, logic and order to protect yourselves from having to face the fact that we live in a a crazy, insane world in which nothing makes sense will be throwing a hissy fit at the notion that a dragon might have escaped from Arthurian myth to harass the good burghers of Truro, but here’s a video from You Tube that is going viral. And people who post videos on You Tube would not try to deceive us with fakes would they?

On the other hand, as I told those fools from the Merseyside Skepitics Association (who spell sceptic with a k because it look more like magick that way) to be truly a sceptic you have to neither believe nor disbelieve anything but question everything.

But the first thing to do is examine the evidence:

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Hmmm … So let’s question the video. Do dragons exist? My children tell me they have encountered one such creature, it was called Mrs. Bibby and taught seven to eight year olds at St. Annes school. The Dragon once told my daughter that her daddy would burn in hell because he was not a Roman Catholic. Mrs Bibby was a crap dragon, she could not even breathe fire although she found at the next parents evening that I can.

Now back to the Truro dragon which you will immediately notice in the video looks nothing like John Hurt.

I am very suspicious of this dragon because the way it moves its wings is completely unaerodynamic. Even a Ray Harryhausen dragon moves more realistically than that. To me this creature looks like one of the little buggers that was responsible for wannabe skinny dippers on Hampstead Heath having to don budgie smugglers.

crayfish_1516006a

North American crayfish: this creature already boosted sales of budgie smuggers in North London, will it now book tourism in King Arthur country?

Anyone who has seen one of these vicious little willie nippers swimming with recognise the action as being identical to that of the alleged Truro dragon in flight.

We therefore pronounce the Truro dragon a hoax, and being in Cornwall probably a scrumpy related stunt. Unless Mrs Bibby moved down to Cornwall after she retired. She would be in her nineties now, but dragons are immortal aren’t they?

Teen Cuts Off Father’s Head After He Rapes Her

Now, THIS is the way to deal with a rapist, even if he is your Dear Old Dad! A teenage girl in Papua New Guinea chopped off her own father’s head after he raped her in the family hut.

The incident happened recently in the remote western highlands of Papua New Guinea and comes to the western world courtesy of a report from Pastor Lucas Kumi from the village of Rang, also in the Western Highlands.

Pastor Kumi reports that the unnamed girl is also being shielded from prosecution by her village. Kumi reports that the girl is being protected by a “protective ring” of her fellow villagers.

Source:

How Not To Die

Death comes to us all, but to some more interestingly than others. Roger McGough famously wrote a poem titled Let Me Die A young Man’s Death, cataloguing the interesting ways he would like to die.

Reality always surpasses our imaginings however and here are the 20 weirdest ways to die, according to someone who takes these things seriously.

Despite our best efforts, Death, in all its myriad and weird forms, is constantly lurking around the corner. But who knew a toothpick could be so dangerous? Or that one’s trademark scarf, draped so dramatically around your neck, could be conspiring to kill you?

Here, adding to the list of things one should worry about — cellphones causing cancer, the probability of a car accident, the potential for being struck by lightning whilst enjoying a game of pick-up soccer on an unfortunately situated field — is a long list of the strange deaths of interesting people. Take heed and keep an eye on those toothpicks.

1. King Adolf Frederick of Sweden ate himself to death in 1771: His last meal included lobster, caviar, cabbage, smoked herring, and Champagne, followed up by 14 servings of his favorite dessert, semla in hot milk.

2. Allan Pinkerton, founder of the Pinkerton detective agency, died from an infection incurred after he bit his tongue.

jack-d.jpg3. Jack Daniel, purveyor of fine whiskey, died from an infection sustained after kicking his safe and busting his toe.

4. Isadora Duncan, an early 20th century modern dancer, was killed by her trademark scarf while riding in a convertible car. The long scarf blew back and wrapped around a tire axel, breaking Duncan’s neck.

5. Vic Morrow, lead actor from the television series Combat!, was decapitated by a helicopter blade during a stunt for The Twilight Zone: The Movie gone way bad. Two Vietnamese children also died in the accident, prompting the film industry to institute stricter child labor laws.

6. Tycho Brahe, 16th century Danish nobleman and astronomer, supposedly died of a bladder infection after holding it way, way too long during a banquet. Good story, but not true: A 1996 report showed that though Brahe did become ill after the banquet with symptoms similar to a bladder infection, he actually died of mercury poisoning. Brahe and his assistants frequently used mercury in alchemical experiments, however, how the mercury got into his system in such a concentrated dose remains a mystery.

7. Tennessee Williams, longtime alcoholic and author of some of the most enduringly bleak plays of the 20th century, choked on an eyedropper bottle cap in 1983.

8. Sherwood Anderson, author of Winesburg, Ohio, died of peritonitis – an infection of the lining of his stomach, suffered after he swallowed part of a toothpick.

9. Norman “Chubby” Chaney, one of the original Little Rascals, died as a result of a glandular disorder at the age of 21. Evidently, what made him a popular character on the show – his weight, which at one point topped 300 pounds on his 4-foot 7-inch frame – was actually contributing to his death.

10. Attila the Hun died of a nosebleed on his wedding night – he passed out drunk and drowned in his own blood,

11. Sir Francis Bacon died after trying to preserve a chicken in snow; the famous scientist contracted pneumonia after the successful experiment and died a few months later.

12. Aeschylus, Greek playwright, died after an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head. The tortoise reportedly lived.

13. Chrysippus, Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after getting his donkey drunk and watching it attempt to eat figs.

14. A bug allegedly flew into Roman emperor Titus’s nose and, for the next seven years, happily ate at his brain. According to the Babylonian Talmud, it was the size of a bird when he died.

keithcolor.jpg15. Keith Relf of the Yardbirds was electrocuted by his own electric guitar.

16. According to the book 5 People Who Died During Sex and 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists by Karl Shaw, Emperor Claudius of Rome choked on a feather he’d been using to induce vomiting during a banquet in 54 AD. Other historians say he was poisoned by his wife, Agrippina.

17. Playwright Christopher Marlowe, who was perhaps better known in his day than even contemporary Shakespeare, died in 1593 after a fatal argument in a tavern over a bill – he was stabbed in the eye.

18. King Henry I died in 1135 of food poisoning after overdosing on lampreys, a parasitic eel-like marine animal popular in British cuisine during the Middle Ages. Because he died while in France, his remains were sewn into the hide of a bull and shipped back to England for burial.

19. Bobby Leach cheated death when he made the historic (and historically stupid) trip over Niagara Falls in a barrel, the second person to do so, but he wasn’t so lucky on dry land. The stuntman slipped on an orange peel and fractured his leg – which then became infected. Despite the amputation of the gangrenous limb, Leach still died only two months later.

20. Draco, Greek lawmaker whose stringent legal code gave rise to the word “draconian,” died somewhere in the 7th century BCE, supposedly after particularly masterful speech: He suffocated under the mounds of hats and cloaks thrown upon him by admiring Greeks, as a show of appreciation.

Weird and Weirder In Washington

America is a strange, freaky place these days but that will come as a surprise to nobody here. In a nation where self obsession has become a moral virtue a plague of weirdness is inevitable and cases of men marrying their dog, being convicted of having sex with cars (they were other peoples’ cars) and insisting on exercising their human right to have sex in public are hardly newsworthy any more.

Even so some things are worth reporting. Like this story:

Yesterday in Washington today a bunch of naked AIDS protesters stormed House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner’s (yeah I know, let the jokes begin) office today and chanted about fighting funding cuts.

People were protesting against AIDS? Or in support of AIDS?The US government is funding AIDS? WTF is that all about?

Cold Comfort – frozen pets the latest craze.

We should perhaps start another of our Boggart Blog occasional series titled “American Weirdo of the Week.” Ridiculing at American weirdness, the self indulgent excesses of profoundly lonely whose delusions and solipsism make them tragi -comic figures people is becoming something of a favourite sport for Europeans.

American Weirdo Mike McCullough never intended to start freeze-drying beloved pets for grieving owners. But more than a decade ago, a friend of a friend asked the taxidermist to save his beloved dog from the grave or cremation by preserving the animal instead. The friend, displaying that sense of entitlement that typifies Americans, did not want a typically stuffed pet which, like the hunting trophies displayed in country pubs, look about as lifelike as as a lump of concrete. Oh no, he wanted Fido to look just as the dog had in life, and money was no object. Needless to say McCullough promised he could deliver.

The taxidermist had read of a new process to preserve pets, freeze drying. With his gullible friend underwriting the cost he bought the equipment which costs thousands of dollars and set about drying the dog.

Then he talked to a Wall Street Journal reporter about the process. The story made the front page and orders rolled in from people with more money than sense grieving owners. Today, McCullough’s shop, Mac’s Taxidermy, is one of a handful of places in America that relieve customers of huge amounts of money for what is essentially a stuffed toy.

freeze-dried-schnauzer-120301Freeze dried Schnauser or Stuffed Toy, you decide.

McCullough and other taxidermists like him use a special process to keep Fido or Fluffy from starting to stink. Traditional taxidermy involves skinning an animal and stretching its hide over a three-dimensional frame. This is inadequate for the loved family pet, as the animal’s features end up looking generic, nothing like the unique creature that owners knew, loved and anthropomorphised.

Instead, pet preservationists use a freeze-dry chamber, which lowers air pressure to the point that ice turns directly into gas without going through the liquid phase thus sucking the juice out of dead pets. Many taxidermists use freeze-dryers to preserve small animals or fish. Taxidermist Cathy Huntley, owner of Freeze Dried By Cathy in Michigan first got her freeze-dryer to preserve flowers before branching into turkey heads (??? who the fuck would want a freeze dried tirkey head?) and eventually pets.

Most taxidermist recommend a closed-eye “sleeping” pose for preserved pets.

The freeze-drying technique leaves animals looking much as they did in life apart from a very noticable lack of vital signs which must serve as a constant reminder that Bonzo, Tiddles or Polly the Parrot has shuffled off this mortal coil and gone to meet it’s maker in that great stuffed toy factory in the sky.

The process isn’t entirely noninvasive. Before freeze drying can begin Taxidermists must first remove internal organs and fat, which don’t freeze-dry well and would soon start to stink in a modern, centrally heated house. Artificial fillers, otherwise known as cavity wall insulation, then plump up the dehydrated animals because no – one wants a dead pet that looks like a half deflated balloon. Even for closed-eye poses — the sort recommended by most taxidermists — false eyes must be inserted in the sockets to prevent a sunken look.

For owners who want their pets to look awake, some taxidermists offer custom-made glass eyes, painted from photos of the pet during life. It is amazing the lenghts people will go to and the money they are prepared to spend to make a pastice of what was once a lining creature when the lack of animation when a stick is thrown or when the sound of a can opener is heard would be a big clue that it was no longer alive.

freeze dried dalmation-120301
Dotty The Dalmation showing off her favourite Play Dead trick even in death

The freeze dry process costs hundreds of dollars for even the smallest animals, and thousands for a larger dog, such as a Golden retriever. In part, that’s because it takes skill and time to prepare and pose an animal properly.

Freeze-drying machines themselves are incredibly expensive, running in the tens of thousands of dollars. The machines also require lots of electricity to run. At several hundred dollars a month in power bills, costs add up quickly. And freeze-drying isn’t a fast process: It might take six months to prepare a 10-pound cat, said Anthony Eddy, owner of Anthony Eddy’s Wildlife Studio in Slater, Missouri. For an 80- or 90-pound dog, freeze-drying might take a year. So if you want your pet elephant preserved, forget it, you’ll be as dead as your pet by the time it is ready to take home.

A representative of the US Taxidermists Association said: “What we hear from pet owners is that they’re so attached to their pet, they just can’t stand to bury their pet or they don’t want to cremate it. It is just too precious to them. Taxidermy is a whole different game for us now. You have to be a counselor as well as a craftsman, you know what I mean? It’s tough.”

So it’s better to have your furry faced friend end up in a lanfill after you have turned up your ties is it?

Many clients are older or single and living alone, having a loved pet preserved so they can fondle it and talk to it gives them comfort. Maybe so, but if America was not such a creepy society in which people are isolated and alienated from their communities would friends and family not do that better that the dead creatures shown above?

Though this idea may sound weird now we should remember the how idea of two men marrying each other would have sounded 50 years ago. So you may be certain it is only a matter of time before Americans are having their deceased human dead ones freeze dried and posed stiing in their favourite chairs.

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A Tasteful Tribute To Michael Jackson

As the media hype machine goes into overdrive and celebrity gossip talking heads witter vacuously about a “Diana moment” and a “spontaneous outpouring of emotion” the prize for the most tasteful early tribute to Michael Jackson, the man and his music, has to go to rolling news channel CNN.

To fill in the time between initial reports of Michael’s death and official conformation that he had hung up his dancing shoes for the last time they reminded us of the erstwhile King Of Weird in his prime by showing the Thriller video in which MJ danced in full zombie makeup.

Nice one.

Were the rumours about child abuse true? Boggart Blog helps you decide for yourselves.

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