Lucky Black Cat Inherits a Eurofortune

It’s the season of goodwill to all mice and men (and even cats) so lets disprense with the usual sniping and sacrcasm and have a heartwarming (unless you’re a mouse named Jerry) tale from Italy.

An Roman alley cat has been left a fortune in the will of the old lady who ‘adopted him we learned this week.

The four year old black stray a black tomcat imaginatively named Tommaso inherited 10 million euros (£8.5 million) from a widowed heiress. The cat which since it was a kitten had been living among feral cats on wasteground in Rome since it was thrown out of its original owners home by a housekeeper who wore wrinkled stockings like Norah Batty. The harassed housekeeper said when contacted by Boggart Blog: “I was fed up of that worthless cat. Everytime he chased a mouse he ended up getting smacked in the face with a frying pan, a hot iron or something.” Tommaso landed on his feet however (don’t they always?)

In a storyline that could have come from a loonytoons cartoon, Tommaso was resued from his scavenger existence of a stray and evevated to a life of luxury after being rescued by the rich, eccentric old lady whose full name has not been disclosed. It is believed she was married to a property tycoon but widowed after only a few years without having had children.

As her health began to fail, she feared for the future of her beloved pet and so in 2009 changed her will bequeathing everything to Tommaso with an instruction to her lawyers to “identify an animal welfare association or group to which the estate would be donated in return for a commitment to looking after in the style he was accustomed to”.

None of the animal welfare associations examined by the law firm lived up to the old lady’s standards so she instead decided to leave her fortune to Tommaso and appoint as his guardian and manager of his fortune a nurse called Stefina who had cared for her in her final years of her life.

Having put his failure as a mouser behind him saying he was suffering from Chocolate Fireguard syndrome is now the head of a busines empire that includes controlling interests in several companies and property holdings comprising houses and apartments in Rome, Milan and other major cities. Our reporter inb the Italian stovck exchange says rumours anomg traders suggest Tomasso is buying up major holdings in the sardine fishing industry which he says will be a good fit alongside his holdings in the olive oil business.

Who said that suff about black cats being lucky was just silly superstition.

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There’s Always One

Well, golly gosh, how terribly remiss of us, we haven’t offered our congratulations to Will and Kate on the announcement of their impending nuptuals.

Of course there are some people who refuse to just accept that this young couple who have been together for donkey’s years anyway have any chance of making a go of it.

On the front of one of the screaming redtops I noted a headline that somne curmudgeonly old Bishop says he’ll give them seven years.

I should think that’s round about average for any couple coming before a member of the clergy to be joined in holy matrimony these days, but I’m damn sure it ain’t what you want to hear when you have just become engaged.

Still I think every family has one, I recall one prominent member of our family stating quite categorically that Ian’s marriage wouldn’t last. Well it outlasted that old bugger as Ian clocks up 37 years in February.

My dear old Mum wasn’t that enamoured of my plans to marry, she thought my toyboy would be off with a younger woman by the time I hit 35.

Well that milestone is so far in the past I can’t even make it out, we celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary last May.

And just for the record, our siblings who received their parent’s blessing? You guessed, both divorced now (but both happily in new relationships I hasten to add.)

There you go.

Gawd bless you Will and Kate, at least you’ll make a lot of old dears very happy.

Oh and David Cameron; 13 years of Labour, not a decent royal wedding; 6 months of Consevative led coalition, the heir to the heir to the throne, woo-hoo.

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