Be careful how high you fly on your broomstick.

It isn’t often a respected and serious news and opinion web site like Boggart Blog with pick up a story from a South African tabloid like The Johannesburg Star. This one however is a must read for our pagan followers.

Swaziland makes it illegal for a witch to fly a broomstick above 150m

Witches flying their broomsticks above an altitude of 150 metres in Swaziland’s airspace will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of R500 000,the African nation’s civil aviation authority, said, according to a report from our African correspondent.

Witches’ broomsticks are considered similar to any heavier-than-air transportation device that is airborne, the Attorney General of Swaziland, His Excellency The Rev. Mr. Ngwane Swatini Umbongo told media representatives. He expressed concern that high flying witches could stray into air traffic lanes and cause passenger aircraft to crash or turn into pterodactyls which would be bad for the tourist industry.
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“A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the [150-metre] limit,” Civil Aviation Authority marketing and Wirtch Finder – in Chief said yesterday.

No penalties exist for witches flying below 150 metres.

The Jo’burg Star reported it was hard to say how serious he was, but witchcraft isn’t a joking matter in Swaziland, where the people believe in it.

When asked if there were also legal restrictions on how high magic carpets could fly the minister said, “Don’t be silly, magic carpets only exist in fairy tales.”

You will be delighted to know this story is not entirely made up. It was picked up by several bloggers and also featured on MSN Now

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The Witch, The Sword And The Sacred Earth

A white witch in Indiana, U.S.A. Katherine Gunther, 36, pierced her left foot with a sword while performing a wiccan rite in Oak hill Cemetry, Lebanon, Indiana. The Earth worshipper said she was performing the ceremony to give thanks to The Great Mother Goddess for a recent run of good luck. The ceremony involves the use of candles, incense and driving swords into the earth during the full moon.

Gunther said she intended to put the sword in the ground, but hit her foot instead.

“It wasn’t the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot,” she said.

Gunther immediately pulled the sword out of her foot, and her companions took her hospital, where she was kept in for treatment.

No charges were filed, police said. The Wiccans were warned that being in the cemetery in the city about 20 miles northwest of Indianapolis after posted visiting hours constitutes trespassing. Gunthe promised she would be more careful in future.

We hope so, it’s a mistake you would not want to make twice.

More humour every day from Boggart Blog.

Bonfire Month, Halloween Fortnight

Bonfire month is upon us once again. Wasn’t Tony supposed to have done something about this? The local hoodies have been letting off fireworks for over two weeks now. Funny how the police never seem to notice the noise or the rockets lighting up the sky.
Then Mr. Fuckwit up the road has a firework party on Saturday for his daughter’s 10th birthday. Of course he doesn’t start letting off his fireworks until about 11pm, which is, as I’m sure you’ll all agree, an appropriate time for a 10 year old girl’s party.
Organised bonfires will be taking place on Friday 2nd, Saturday 3rd, Sunday 4th and Monday 5th November.
Then, of course, there will be some people who were away at the weekend as it is half term so they’ll probably have fireworks the weekend after.
It’s no wonder the gunpowder plot was discovered if poor old Guy was going down to the cellars and setting off a bit of gunpowder every night for a month.
Of course it’s not just the fireworks. Practically since the little darlings went back to school shops have been stocking up on witch, costumes, broomsticks and pumpkins. There were some children out trick or treating last weekend. The fact they didn’t have costumes and didn’t want a treat suggested to me that they were effectively demanding money with menaces, presumably to go and spend on fireworks which they can then let off on the rec or the slag heaps any day except November 5th.
Boggartblog readers I call on you to join us in reclaiming these traditional British celebrations, anybody caught with a firework on any day but Nov. 5th should have it shoved where the sun don’t shine and when the little bastards ring that doorbell and threaten you with the crazy string just shower them with flour and eggs, then dunk their heads in a bucket of cold water and explain that it’s called apple bobbing.

New humour every day from Boggart Blog

The Pagans Are Back And The North Is Magic.

According to results of a survey released this week Britain is full of Wizards, Witches, Druids, Psychics, Aliens and people with supernatural powers including the ability to teleport people they don’t like to other galaxies.
This last category are very bad news for Channel 4, “Neighbours from Hell” has been a great summer schedule filler for years but will Neighbours to Betelgeuse ever catch on. I mean, the expression on some chavvy types face as he, his pit bull, quad bike and Burberry cap start to dematerialise would be priceless two, maybe three times but there isn’t much scope for plot development.
The survey was sponsored by the Sci Fi TV channel and supervised by Rev. Lionel Fanthorpe, editor of the Fortean Times website, psychic investigator, expert in “anomalous occurrences” and all round loveable eccentric (I wish there were more like him.) Its final report revealed that around 10% of Britons now believe in pagan gods, ley lines, psychic healing, precognition through the use of crystal balls, tarot cards etc., alien abduction and divining. This is more than regularly attend mainstream churches.
Region by region it turns out that Sussex is very psychic, Essex is full of witches (you can recognise them by the white stilettos) and the East Midlands is not very weird at all. Now why does that not surprise me?
Cornwall and the West Country scored very highly as one might expect but the top counties were all in the heathen north. Lancashire, North Yorkshire, Cumberland and Northumberland are populated by people who are off their heads it seems.
Which would confirm what we have always told you about the potency of our local beer. Drink the right stuff and the world fills up with engaging oddballs.

Read Ian’s poem for Spring Equinox, From the Darkness at Authorsden. Also links to other pagan poems in his Eightfold Year series.