Schadenfreude is the Zeitgeist.

Oh dear, what subtle traps the gods lay for members of The Politically Correct Thought Police as those individuals walk on hot coals in trying to be PC on every issue when often defending one oppressed minority means offending another.

Not long ago I was attacked in several threads on British and American blogs for taking the piss out of International Athletics authorities for letting a contestant with bollocks and a beard take part in a women’s’ race in the World Athletics Championship.

It’s OK, I’m thick skinned but it was amusing to see how many of the PCTP decided my comments were inspired by racism despite half the contestants disadvantaged by Caster Semenya’s presence being African, Asian or Hispanic. On Planet PC all people are equal but some are more equal than others. Self – righteousness and stupidity are always inseparable I find.

(For the record, I might ridicule the situation but have always felt Semenya was someone with a serious medical problem who needed help and instead of getting it she was being exploited by self serving South African Athletics Chiefs.)

It is very gratifying to indulge in a bit of Schadenfreude (taking pleasure in the misery of others) as the medical reports prove what we all knew from the start but today I have a double helping as a lifestyle columnist in The Guardian has walked into another trap. For Guardian Lifestyle writers of course, Jeremy Clarkson is Beelzebub, Darth Vader and Iggy The Barebum Fire-bobby all rolled into one. He is all pollutants to all men, the one who would turn baby kittens into subway sandwiches and put third world orphans on treadmills to generate electricity for his incandescent bulbs. Nuff said.

I was reading a lifestyle column in my Guardian today and the townie writer, a middle class woman who has embraced the ways of Waitrose shopping faux country folk was burbling on rapturously about her bumper crop of apples. Nice.

What does a green living Waitrose shopping faux country person do with their spare apples once they have eaten all they want to eat for a very long time. Freeze them? Dry them? Bottle them?

Recently we Boggart Bloggers, who are born with a cruel streak you know, were getting drunk on our favourite vintage Schadenfreude after it was revealed that the greenies de rigeur Aga cookers were ten times as polluting as our ordinary hobs and ovens. Drying the Apples was out for Apple woman then, to make dried apples you have to core, slice and bake them for six hours. Very environment hostile.

Freezing was a no-no too. Running a freezer takes energy and you have to cook your apples before freezing and then cook them again before you eat them.

Apple woman decided on the traditional way of storing apples when you haven’t a deep, cool cellar. Bottling, like me and fatsally’s Dear Old Mum used to do with damsons, gooseberries, apples and rhubarb when we were young.

Ms Guardian Apple Woman was so pleased with herself, she had found a method that did not use much energy, produced no non compostable waste and the basic kit, bottling jars could be used year after year.

Wonder how she will feel when someone reminds her the jars she will use were invented by an ancestor of …. cue opening chords of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in B minor) …. Jeremy Clarkson.

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14 thoughts on “Schadenfreude is the Zeitgeist.

  1. Sir,

    Using “third world orphans on treadmills to generate electricity” would be a very good idea to Save the Planet and offer some occupational therapy to said orphans at the same time.

    Suppose one will have to feed them in order to enable them to tread properly? Do you think the electricity they produce would offer a higher value than the food input delivered to them? If so, we could start a business, an Orphans on Treadmills Power Plant.

    Just a tought… :>

    Like

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