A Roman Emperor Declared Trans By UK Museum

The Daily Telegraph reports that Imperator Heliogabalus (aka Elagabalas,) of Rome will be referred to as she because claims in contemporary texts reveal that the emperor demanded he be called ‘lady’

An engraving of Heliogabalus, who has been given female pronouns by the North Hertfordshire Museum Credit: Leemage/Corbis Historical

Roman emperor Heliogabalas (reigned 228 – 222 AD has been declared transgender by the North Hertfordshore museum (of idiotic virtue signalling?) Museum policy states that pronouns used in displays will be those “the individual in question might have used themselves” or whatever pronoun “in retrospect, is deemed appropriate”.

Heliogabalus, aka Elagabalas, real name Marcus Aurelius Antonninus was 14 when anointed Emperor and 18 when he was assassinated. During his short, chaotic and scandalous reign he is alleged to have, on one occasion, murdered his dinner guests by having tons of rose petals poured on them through an opening in the roof.

Other reports of his behaviour also suggest he was completely barking mad so its hardly surprising that at times he might also have believed he was a woman. Had he lived now he might have decided to be Napoleon, Elvis, Evel Knievel or Iggy The Bare Bum Fire Bobby depending on his mood. But apart from being a nutcase he did nothing of note. So maybe we should defund the museum that labels him ‘trans,’ as a reward for their virtue signalling and recognise Elagabalus was just a disturbed teenager in need of being given psychiatric help rather than absolute power

A Museum spokesperson who said zey’re pronouns are braindead and clown announced that in future, in order to be sensitive to the trans community the purported pronoun preferences of the third century AD ruler Elagabalus, the emperor will be treated as a transgender woman and referred to as she or her.

The museum explained Heliogabalus has been given female pronouns on the basis of classical texts that claim the emperor asked to be called “lady”, but properly qualified historians believe these accounts may simply have been a Roman attempt at character assassination as a precursor to the physical assassination that ended his era of misrule and debauchery. (If you’re not well up on Roman history the reign of King Joffrey in Game of Thrones is a good analogy.)

On the other hand we could simply remind ourselves Omnes Romani togalevarii erant

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A Fairer Format for TV election debates
Faced with the prospect of Jeremy or BoJo I have been following the TV debates and political programs, Question Time, Andrew Marr etc.
Having listened intently to a wide range of our politicians I would like to share my ideas on how political discussion and debate should be formatted in future. READ ALL >>>

Lord’ Sugar Sugar called ‘racist’ for Senegal World Cup team tweet (but it was funny)

Alan Sugar (one of Blair’s dodgy ‘lords’ and front man of the UK version of ‘The Apprentice’ TV show, has come in for a shitstorm of criticism online after tweeting a typical market traders gag about the Senegal World Cup team. Sugar posted a photoshopped image of the Senegal players standing over a row fake designer sunglasses and handbags and gave it the caption “I recognise some of these guys …”

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[ Comedy & Satire ] … [ Don’t call me a conspiracy theorist ] … [ fear and panic ] … [ Humanitas ]

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Eighteenth Century Philosopher David Hume Cancelled by Edinburgh Uni. Woke Wankers

In 2020, while we were distracted by lockdown, all dead white males came into the crossfires of a cultural revolutionary wave. Merchants, authors, scientists, politicians philosophers and others were all found guilty of the crimes of being dead, white and male. Statues were torn down, plaques removed and more. All because people from the past were found guilty of not thinking exactly as we do in the 2020s.

Searching for victims, it was inevidable the bloody – toothed mob would soon go after Scottish philosopher David Hume, whose Treatise on Human Nature (written while he was in his 20s,) still gives us valuable insights today. No matter, the mob deemed him a racist and insisted his name be removed from the University of Edinburgh building. So it came to pass that the university authorities changed the building name to “40 George Square”. A name which is still far more poetic than the building in question.

When I read that the attempt by the woke wankers at Edinburgh University had resulted in the University losing £££millions in bursaries, donations and legcies, I was delighted because as well as being one of the leading thinkers in the era of Enlightenment, Hume, unlike modern academics a real human being, could also claim another notable achievement, as is recorded inMonty Python’s Philosopher Song:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

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Football Is Becoming A Game For Wimps or Who Banned All The Pies Boggart Blog 110212

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Malawi: Where Farting Is A Crime.We in the west have endured the gradual erosion of our civil liberty, human rights and personal freedom in the name of politically correct thinking but while we look to the developing world as offering a simpler, more common sense approach to life it seems their situation is worse. A new law in Malawi has made farting a crime. At least in the west we can still fart at will.
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The Curious Case of RS Archer

from The Critic

R S Archer is, apparently, a novelist who created the “David Saunders” book series. A man of many talents and diverse experiences, he also has “a background of military service” and is heavily involved in some kind of mysterious family business. His profile picture on his popular Twitter account shows him to have lean, Bondesque good looks.

Archer lives in France, in grand luxury. He is always reporting to his Twitter followers about how he is eating the best steak in Europe or drinking Château Batailley, Pauillac Grand Cru Classé from 2009. He has “a house in Switzerland” and ponders buying a 1968 Mercedes-Benz.

Does that story not sound a little too perfectly calculated?

Chiefly, though, Archer is known for his politics. He is ardently anti-Brexit and anti-Johnson — claiming, for example, that the Russian invasion of Ukraine “began with Brexit” — though he also mocks left-wing extremes of verbal sensitivity and trans activism.

Archer earned online attention with a Twitter thread in which he talked about his idiot Brexiteer neighbours who had “made no arrangements” for Britain’s departure from the EU and faced deportation. Their equally idiotic — as well as drunk and violent — son attempted to travel to France to bribe the mayor, with hilarious consequences. Archer’s thread was shared more than 50,000 times.

At this point you might have realised that something strange is going on. Does that story not sound a little too perfectly calculated for Remainer prejudices? How can an author, of all people, live in such grand style? Why have you never heard of the “David Saunders” book series? (Is that not a terrible name for a main character?)

Well, it doesn’t exist. As several observers have pointed out, there is no trace of “RS Archer” or the “David Saunders” book series beyond the Twitter account. The Bondesque profile picture is from a stock photo. The identity is transparently fictional.

But is it so transparent? Ninety thousand people follow Mr Archer and engage with his blatant fabrications. He claims to have met a Zurich banker who told him that US and European financiers were looking forward to selling off the NHS (6000 retweets). He reports that a new ferry service from Belgium will bypass England and go straight to Scotland (1000 retweets and, by the way, untrue). He makes up a “scathing comment” by a “US spokesman” saying there “are no winners with Brexit” (1000 retweets).

Continure reading >>>

Woke Brigade Go After Nobby The Cerne Abbas Giant

A news report in The Daily Telegraph today would have us believe the giant, generally supposed to be prehistoric in origin, in fact only dates back to around the 10th century and originally wore trousers to spare the bllushed of maidens or something.

Cerne Abbas giant (picture: The National Trust

from The Daily Telegraph:

The origins of the Cerne Abbas giant have long been cloaked in mystery, and its vast anatomy has long caused shock by being cloaked in nothing at all.

But the National Trust has revealed that the hill figure is Saxon and actually had trousers for 700 years before a phallus was added in the 17th century as a possible parody of Oliver Cromwell, made on the orders of a disgruntled baron.

Before then, the club-wielding nude wore trousers, according to National Trust senior archaeologist Martin Papworth, who told The Telegraph: “For a long period he may not have been phallic at all.”

When you think about it logically this is an absolute rubbish story. If true it would date the origin of the giant around the reign of King Alfred. But he’s carrying a baseball bat and baseball was not invented until the 19th century.

My theory is that the giant represents an irate resident of a Southampton sink estate wakened at 2 a m by partying neighbours, threatening to smash their Hi Fi to bits if they did not “turn the bloody music down”

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How American Forces Network Saved Our Lives Britain in the 1950s was a monochrome society, a rigid, unyielding social order and overt class consciousness constrained social interactions, people were reluctant to do the right thing for fear of it being deemed by “polite society” as the wrong thing. Fortunately a radio station we should not have been listening to, and the subversive music it played took the lead in releasing us from our bonds

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BBC-outed-on-left-wing-political-bias-in-climate-change-coverage-by-astute-pensioner-they-are-a-globalist-propaganda-tool-nature-daily-stirrer-dailystirrer
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History Is Older Than They Are Telling Us The official story goes Weez aalz from Afreekaa, humans crossed the strait of Gibraltar about a million years ago and after some serious delays at Malaga airport, arrived in britain arounf 400,000 years ago. But it’s wrong. humans were already here a million years ago and they were taking caravan holidays by the sea. Civilization began in England, but we always knew that didn’t we folks?

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Sat Nav plus Stupid Human equals Fail: Taxi driver rescued after driving into canal when his sat nav told him ‘turn left’

Taxi is hauled out of the Bridgewater canal Picture: Reach via Yahoo News

Police reported a Taxi driver had a “lucky escape” after obeying a Sat Nav direction led him to drive into a canal in Eccles, Greater Manchester.

The “embarrassed” motorist made a left turn off Bridgewater Way and straight into Bridgewater Cannal in on Sunday evening, officers said. Manchester Police Traffic division posted a picture online of the vehicle lying in the water following the incident.

A spokesman for the force said: “This taxi was rescued by RPU west A-relief in Eccles after the driver followed his sat nav straight into the Bridgewater Canal.

Replying to the post, one person wrote: “I hope they were reported to the council as well as having to re-sit a driving test. That’s just shocking.”

Another added: “Should have his taxi license and car license revoked, could have been a different outcome.”

As I know the road and the area I’m aware that anybody who placed the evidence of their own eyes above that of a machine could not possibly have done this. Therefore the real question, given the number of similar incidents we have reported in the past, it what has technology done to our brains when so many people will put blind faith in technology and ignore their own observations and common sense.

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The Man Behind The Mask

After a long wait my special mask, shipped at enormous cost from Germany, arrived today. So all the people who accused me of not taking Coronavitus seriously can eat your words.

Praktica Digital Camera

Seriously folks, I just cant wait to turn up at a shop, be asked to put on a mask to prevent the spread of infection, and put this thing on.

The look on people’s faces will give me a lot of satisfaction.

 

Every now and then those of us who post content in internet discussion threads are rewarded by a reply from a fully paid up, card carrying member of the left wing idiots union, it does not so much invite us, as demands that we indulge in heavy sarcasm. Such an opportunity was handed to be when I posted a reply to an article from some snivelling neo – fascist (who no doubt thinks of himself as a liberal without having a clue what liberal means,) who was complaining about the right wing nuts who don’t understand how much better off we all are while being kept under indefinite house arrest

COVID-19 Lock-downs: How The Right Got Freedom Wrong

by  Tom Williams, posted on Medium.com, 15 May 2020

As states across America have extended their stay-at-home orders, a vocal minority of Americans (primarily on the political right) have taken to the streets to declare the lockdowns as ‘unconstitutional’ and ‘tyrannous’. However, while some individual state laws — such as bans on travel outside a state— may be unconstitutional, the lockdowns, in and of themselves, are not. The 1905 Supreme Court ruling ‘Jacobson v. Massachusetts’ — which allowed states to enforce mandatory vaccination — set a clear precedent for the temporary suspension of some civil liberties during a public health crisis (like the Coronavirus pandemic).

However, the right’s evocation of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ in the lockdown debate is an all too familiar ploy from Republicans. Whether it relates to improving healthcare access, passing gun control or, expanding the Government’s size in order to control climate change, the right have consistently used the language of ‘freedom’ to push back against progressive changes; especially when such change threatens to fundamentally change the existing economic system … Continue reading (although it’s not really worth the effort being more of the same)

 

Reply from Thorpy

Freedom is slavery,
War is peace,
Ignorance is strength. (George Orwell — who was a socialist BTW — in “1984”)

What I find most comical about articles like this is the people who will be falling over themselves to agree with its sentiments would quickly become apoplectic with rage if some religious type showed up and said: “God created the world and everything in it quite recently and so the pandemic must be His Holy Will therefore it is wrong to interfere with the progress of the disease — oh and by the way Jesus just rode by on his dinosaur.”

Can you imagine the responses? They be screaming evolution this and evolution that. Yet in responses to articles like this they are blissfully unaware they are supporting the antithesis of evolution. Charles Darwin’s case was built on “survival of the fittest,” which as I always point ou does not mean those who go to the gym four times a week or run marathons should dominate, but that the species will be preserved by the survival of those member best able to adapt to and deal with environmental challenges. This is why the hand wringers and breast beaters are now lobbying government to throw disproportionate amount of resource into ensuring the survival of the weakest.

This may sound harsh but we are dealing with nature or possible a misguided attempt to meddle with nature, and will pay the price, Nature is ruthless, nature is brutal, Lord Tennyson knew what he was on about when in the poem In Memoriam he coined the phrase, “Nature, red in tooth and claw.”

COVID — 19, as the authorities in Europe (I don’t know about the USA — reliable information is hard to find,) are now acknowledging, is not a serious threat to people below retiring age who are in general god health. Placing entire nations under house arrest does not protect the vulnerable, in fact it makes them more vulnerable (as again is now being acknowledged because public opinion demanded a clear definition of what COVID related deaths actually means. Turns out it includes people whose deaths were not due to any Coronavirus variant but due to urgent medical help being unavailable because of lockdown.

Blaine Coleman

Actually it is a risk to everyone of any age. Even if you say it isn’t, which isn’t true, then that means retirees aren’t of value to society and only the young deserve to live?

You opted to retire due to health reasons (as did I, unfortunately) so by your logic, you and I deserve to die because COVID-19 only affects retirees, right?

Thorpy
No Blaine, I did not say COVID — 19 only affects retirees or anything like that, and though I suspect your comment is a deliberate attempt to undermine what I wrote, I have to say if that is what you genuinely thought I meant, your literacy skills could use a little work.

What I said was “as authorities in Europe [ … ] are now acknowledging, [COVID19] is not a serious threat to people below retiring age who are in general good health.”

Now let’s think about what that means, thinking might be a new experience for you but I’m assure all human beings are capable of it,) if as I point our after researching the issue, authorities in Europe are acknowledging something, then I am not “stating it” but merely reporting it.

So what are these European authorities saying and why (and the UK Chief Medical Officer has repeated this three times now,): Quoting official figures that prove 90% of COVID — 19 related deaths have been in people aged over 65 who also had long term heath problems, with cardio — pulmonary illness, diabetes certain cancers involved in a very high number of cases.

Younger people with ongoing problems are also more vulnerable to COVID — 19 than those in good health (now it must be obvious even to you, there’s logic in that,) and official statistics show there is a link between obesity and death / serious illness caused by this virus.

But as you sat it is a risk to everybody, a very small risk to the young and fit, a much higher risk to the old and sick. Again you ought to be able to spot the logic in that. The older we get the closer we are to dying. Another statistic forced out of the UK health authorities is that over the three months the pandemic has been running, in this nation of 63 million, just 238 people who were under 45 and had no ongoing health concerns have suffered COVID — 19 related deaths. So the risk to healthy young people is about the same as dying in a road accident, though it’s much more likely than dying because of spontaneous combustion or in a bizarre gardening accident.

So you should now see that your interpretation of my comment was completely wrong but as I noted above, I suspect your misdirection was intentional.

MORE on the Coronavirus Crisis
Fear and Panic
Pandemic of pandemics

Why the U.S. Progressive Left is Misreading the Democratic Base

We just had to bring the first few paragraphs of this rather long article over from Medium.com, there are a few really good laughs in it.

Munr Kazmir

Jun 20, 2019 · 4 min read

Two words: Boaty McBoatface.

Women’s March on NYC 2019. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) (photo: Dimitri Rodriguez)

Who is Boaty McBoatface, you ask? You might also ask why pop-star Pit Bull once played a tiny town in Alaska. Or why Greenpeace named a whale Mister Splashy Pants.

The answer to those questions, and the reason the new progressive strong-arm of the Democratic Party is seriously misreading the Democratic voting base, and overestimating support for extremely far left policies, is the same:

Online voting contests.

The cutting-edge scientific polar research vessel, Boaty McBoatface, was ignominiously christened in 2016 after an online contest to name the underwater submersible went, let’s just say, awry. The naming contest was hijacked by a group that organized online into a kind of mob, and completely skewed the results of what essentially amounted to a poll.

“What should we name this vessel?” was the poll question. An actual, genuine sample of the city’s population, or even the nation’s, would have likely yielded one of the many other perfectly acceptable and reasonable names.

The vessel’s owner, Britain’s Natural Environment Research Council wasn’t exactly thrilled; scientists and scientific journals were outraged.

In a perfect polling world, Boaty McBoatface would now be called the Shackleton, after the world-famous polar explorer, or the Endeavor.

Ah, but polls aren’t perfect, are they?

Polls are by definition flawed from the outset. They reflect a sample of people willing to be polled, not a sample of everyone. People with strong opinions on the subject, one way or another, are generally more willing to answer in a poll.

Most people, however, simply don’t care enough to participate. People have lives. Some people have lives that include three jobs, school, a family and little time to indulge in rigging online voting contests or twitter flame wars.

The number of these online contests that are hijacked by a large online group are myriad.

In 2007, Greenpeace sponsored an online naming contest for a killer whale. Mister Splashy Pants beat out Kaimana (Hawaiian for “power of the ocean”) and Shanti (Sanskrit for “tranquility”) with a whopping 78% of the online vote.

The new town dump in Austin, Texas almost became “The Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts”, the clear winner in an online naming poll.

When Taylor Swift announced an online contest to select a U.S. school where she would perform a free concert, the Horace Mann School for the Deaf received the most votes.

An online poll for fans to choose a destination for Justin Bieber’s “My World” tour ended when “fans” elected to send the singer to North Korea on what was a presumably to be a one-way trip. Continue reading

Breaking News From Planet Snowflake – Kitchen Knives To Be Banned

As we’ve said before, this blog started  out as a social and political satire publication. Then about 2010 maybe, the virtue signalling of the political left and progressive liberals became so insane it was beyond sanity. This story illustrates how far beyond sanity we have travelled.

Church of England bishops (who else could be so far out of touch with reality?) are leading a campaign calling on the government to take a toughen up its position on on knife crime, in the wake of a massive upsurge in knife attacks and violent crime since the police were ordered to prioritise the investigation of ‘hate crime’ over pursuing real criminals. One of their suggestions is banning pointed kitchen knives. The suggestion has been met on social media with some confusion, and a lot of jokes.

Church leaders, with support from police, psychiatrists and politicians, penned an open letter to the government, arguing that domestic knives should be redesigned with rounded tips to reduce the number of life-threatening stabbing injuries being inflicted bt thugs with hunting knives, combat knives and machetes. They reportedly argue that pointed blades aren’t even needed in this day and age, given that we have forks to eat with. The useless old farts have obviouslt never skinned a rabbit or gutted a fish.

The absurdity of banning a common kitchen implement was pointed out by bemused netizens, particularly as the proposal comes after police recently announced that they will no longer post images of seized knives “to help reduce the fear of knives,” and as the Home Office uses takeaway packaging to basically tell people that stabbing is bad.

WTF? DON’T THEY UNDERSTAND THUGS THINK BEING BAD IS KOOL, SO TELLING THEN STABBING IS BAD WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE THEM?

Despite such highly effective crime-fighting tactics, the government seems to be having little actual effect on violent knife crime rates if official statistics cab ve believed, and efforts to ‘reach out’ to young criminas appears to be failing to reduce crime or assure the public that the problem is being dealt with.

Many Twitter users were baffled by the suggestion of a pointed kitchen knife ban, wondering if it’s some sort of joke, while others highlighted the fundamental futility of the idea by noting how easy it is to find an alternative sharply-pointed weapon, or to make one.

Some weighed in with creative alternatives to food preparation, should you find yourself bereft of a pointed kitchen knife.

And commenters across the pond were less than impressed with the ‘banning pointy knives’ proposal, with one saying: “When you Europeans get high and mighty about America’s guns and tell us we need to be more like you… this is what comes to mind.”

MORE ON POLITICALLY CORRECT STUPIDITY

 

 

 

Dearth Of Intelligence Online

Sometimes it is difficult, as we peregrinate around the web, to avoid plunging into the depths of despair.

Today I came across a nice little piece of satire on Minds.com from a member posting as Feministwit. The name along should tell most people this is a satirical blog.

Today’s post read:

As we take a look back at 2018, we can see a lot of progress. Other than Fox News, nearly every tv network is left leaning, with nearly all journalists openly left. Nearly all Hollywood entertainers espouse Liberal ideology. And several alt right commentators got banned from social media or otherwise silenced. Those that have tried to find platforms on alternative social media sites have been harassed, and in some case, those entire sites have had their revenue stream taken away, silencing thousands more. Those of us on the left have significantly moved closer to having complete a total control over all expression and public discord.

And once we finally have complete control over all speech, only then can we end fascism.

So far so good. but then came the comments. Not only were there people who did not get the joke, some actually fired of angry spiels about the stupidity of left wingers who believe such stuff. The internet really does have a lot to answer for. Let’s hava vada:

RAZINGCANE Jan 2, 2019, 3:25:13 PMedited

IF you’re a feminist what the fuck are you wearing skirts for, toots? And what the fuck is a “feminist” in a gender neutral world? A dinosaur??? or an anti-social fossil?? “As we take a look back at 2018, we can see a lot of progress. Other than Fox News, nearly every tv network is left leaning, with nearly all journalists openly left. Nearly all Hollywood entertainers espouse Liberal ideology.,,,”  This comment went on in the same vein for about a thousand words …

 

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