Google Car Driverless Because No Sane Person Would Be Seen Dead In One

So Google have finally unveiled their much heralded driverless car (pictured below). Well nobody was expecting a long awaited contender for the E Type Jaguar’s title of coolest car ever, but Google have surpassed even their usual levels of bellendishness with a nerdmobile that, as Boggart Blog predicted, looks like a mobility scooter with a roof.

At first sight however, the product is far worse than even we expected. The cars, which are being promoted as the prototype for a serious mode of transport, look somewhat less stylish and about as practical as one of the kid’s rides that are sited outside supermarkets.

google driverless car
Google driverless car – not exactly a babe magnet then? (source)

Though there is nothing new about the technology Gooogle Go Karts deploy, because it has all been around for years, the question is how will it perform in real driving conditions. So far it has only been tested in California where people are queueing to have a processor implanted in their brain that will link them via wi-fi to a Google server centre and they will never be at risk of not conforming again. Such conditions are ideal for machines that require an environment where everything is totally predictable. Get a few of these on roads in British cities, the streets of Paris, Rome, Madrid or worse, Baghdad or Calcutta and they will cause mayhem.

So far the only technical detail Google have announced is that the car will be capable of 25mph. We expect it will have a range of about 15 miles and cost in the region of £25million for a basic model. It may appeal to the kind of celebs who like to parade their environment conscious credentials by arriving at film premieres, award ceremonies and celebrity weddings in one, having flown all the way except the last few miles in private jets or been driven in gas guzzling stretch limos.

Google executives and technerds say driverless cars will improve road safety. Some experts have said they will make it worse. Thousands of people every year will be mown down by conventional car=s careering out of control onto pedestrian walkways after their drivers have dies laughing on seeing one of these jokes go past.

We suggest there is a better and less expensive way to let people know you are a twat. Just have the letters T W A T tattooed across your forehead.

RELATED POSTS:
Google Driverless Car Project – there are still a few snags to be ironed out
We said when it was first announced nearly a year ago that the Google driverless car was a non starter. It was not just the fact that Mercedes are miles ahead, nor Google’s lack off attachment to reality. It was not the obvious (to those who have worked in the industry) tchnical problems, but the fact that people don’t like giving control to machines that will scupper it.

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