Obama Talks The Talk But Dare Not Visit Afghanistan In Daylight

from the Boggart Blog newsdesk:
Todays mainstream news papers and broadcast bulletins are full of the Superhero Barack Obama’s daredevil visit to Afghanistan. The man who liberated Libya single handed and took out Osama Bin Laden (or a Pakistani penioner with a beard) in a daring solo raid behind enemy lines stormed into the Afghan capital, Kabul, made a speech that left hundreds of Taliban fighters dead and saw others fleeing for the mountains with their arses on fire then left again all in the space of fifteen minutes. He would have stayed longer but had to get back, put out a forest fire, shore up a mountainside that was about to collapse, catch a kid who had fallen over the rail and was about to plunge into the Niagra rapids and stop a huge dam from bursting and washing away several small communities in Coloado.

No, but seriously folks …

After landing at Bagram Airbase around 10pm local time, the Prez – Dude was delivered by a low-level, cover-of-darkness “helicopter insertion” (he got arse fucked by a helicopter? Now wonder the limp wristed one was smiling) to the Presidential Palace where a ten-page proposal which contains no specifics on funding or troop levels was signed around midnight.

So secret was the visit that the White House spent the day frantically trying to deny leaked news of Obama’s imminent arrival after the puppet government in Kabul blabbed to western media. This was yet another example of seamless co-operation between Afghan and Coalition governments that perfectly ilustrates the readiness of President Khazi’s government to provide stability and security after the allied withdrawal..

After the signing, there was just time for Mr Obama to duck into a hangar and make a rousing address to the bewildered troops who have a big enough problrem trying to anticipate which direction the next enemy attack will next come from without having to worry about which direction the next visit by Obama, Cameron or Sarkozy will come from. Then he made an address to the American nation reminding them how he was single handedly routing the Taliban on a daily basis. This was, of course, another perfect excuse for the President to remind everyone of his heroic decision to leave the golf course and sit in a corner of the Situation Room as the Navy SEALs hit the alleged terrorist compund a year ago.

Obama’s autocue, said by many to be the real voice of the Presidency, is a past master at makeing a vitue out of absurdity, and this occasion was no exception as The One mouthed meaningless cliches about “new light” breaking on the horizon for Afghanistan, even as he gestured to the “pre-dawn darkness” in which he was speaking. Even the Presidential autocue’s rhetorical skills couldn’t disguise the tail-between-the-legs ‘optics’ of the event. It was as big a public disaster as news of the Administration’s billion – dollar gift to the Taliban or Michelle Obama’s $30,000 spending spree in posh knicker shop Agent Provocateur.

Administration officials tried to suggest that the visit’s unusual timing was for the benefit of the US TV networks, a piece of spin so feeble it does not merit a response.

There is no doubting the wisdom of the President’s security advisors in keeping the visit secret and under cover of darkness, it is only two weeks ago that the Haqqani network mounted a co-ordinated 18-hour assault on the heart of Kabul. Unfortunaterly despite the gung ho speech the message of this trip was clear and will not be missed by the west’s enemies: after a decade of expending blood and money in Afghanistan, the US President does not dare visit the place broad daylight.

Obama says Britain should give The Maldives back to Argentina
What’s in a name like Rsandy bumgardner
Boggart Blog reveals Cameron and Obama’s Afghan exit strategy
B Movie Actor slams Britain over Falklands
Only In America

15 thoughts on “Obama Talks The Talk But Dare Not Visit Afghanistan In Daylight

    • I could love them but … what they do tends to affect my life adversely. I like Ed Miliband though, he makes me think of Bluebottle in The Goon Show (showing my age now)


  1. Bit like when Blair whistle-stopped the troops in Basra, he could get off the mortar shell-cratered airport tarmac quick enough to change his underpants.
    But a night time presidential interlope takes the coward’s biscuit & reflects very badly ( boom boom)


    • According to what I read on US news sites earlier it has backfired.

      Blair actually outdid ’em all except George W Bush who stood on the deck of a ship anchored off California shouting, “I whipped Saddam, c’mon Iran, come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”


    • No fuss Rob, it’s just that the gung ho language of his speech was comically at odds with the reality of the situation.. The Americans do not have The Taliban on the run, in fact they have given thgeir foes $1billion (similar to King Alfred’s Danegeld) and offered them a place in the post occupation government in an attempt to buy them off.


  2. To be fair the ridiculous security measures written in to the constitution post Kennedy make it very difficult for him to do troop visits even if he wants to.

    Gone are the days when a President could be so badass that when he’s finally assasinated he already has a load of bullets in his body from previous attempts and gunfights.


    • In this case it was not the security that was ridiculous (Cammers had the same kind of cover) but the visit itself. Even the liberal American press have recognised it as an ill judged electioneering stun when everybody knows the Afghan situation is terrible for the Americans. Thus it has backfired


  3. I absolutely love your website.. Pleasant colors
    & theme. Did you develop this website yourself?
    Please reply back as I_m trying to create my own personal
    blog and want to find out where you got this from or what the theme is
    called. Thank you! THIS SITE


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s