War In Iraq? Lard Bombs Away

ultimate deterrent for middle east war
 How to prevent Islamic State fighters raping non Mulim women. (source: cdnlolzbook)

As usual Boggart Blog is totally against Britain becoming embroiled in another sectarian conflict in the middle east (the theme tune of which will be I Hate You Babe by Sunni and Shia.)

It looks however very much as though or parlimentarians who are debating the issue of whether we should join in the Obama administration’s air strikes on the Islamic State forces in Iraq will approve our return to the killing fields of Iraq.

But rather than send our clapped out, thirty year old warplanes to fire rockets and heavy calibre cannons and drop bombs on the IS, bearing in mind these guys are all fundamentalist Muslims we have a better idea. We can beat the Islamic State without shedding blood.

All we have to do is get our Kurdish allies fire bacon rolls from Mortars while US and British cargo planes drop Lard Bombs from cargo planes. At meddle east surface temperatures the lard will be soft when it hits the ground and will splatter over a wide area, taking out many IS fighters as their Imams declare them unclean.

Better still, to drive the fundamentalists out of the occupied area altogether liquify the lard by mixing it with vegetable oil, stir in pureed SPAM and spray the whole area with the resulting mixture from high flying planes adapted for the job. If the Islamists touch anything or even breathe in any droplets they are unclean and cannot fight because if they die they can’t get into heaven, no eternal life singing the praises of Allah, no virgins, nothing.

Our solution is humane (although not very good for pigs used to make bacon, SPAM and Lard), non lethal, biodegradable, and quite cheap compared to smart bombs that cost £2million a bang and no matter what target they are programmed to hit will seek out and destroy the only wedding party in a ten thousand square mile area.

Disaster Dave’s Latest Screw Up On The International Stage
Tomorrow (26 September, 2014) the UK Parliament will meet to vote on whether Britain should support Prime Minister David Cameron and US President and Warmonger – in – Chief Barack Hussein Obama in launching yet another war in the middle east, this time against the forces of the Islamic Caliphate, a fundamentalist organisation set up by groups funded armed and trained by the USA and its allies in their quest to overthrow the regime of Bashar Al Assad in Syria.

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3 thoughts on “War In Iraq? Lard Bombs Away

  1. […] War In Iraq? Lard Bombs Away (SATIRE) As usual Boggart Blog is totally against Britain becoming embroiled in another sectarian conflict in the middle east (the theme tune of which will be I Hate You Babe by Sunni and Shia.) But rather than send our clapped out, thirty year old warplanes to fire rockets and heavy calibre cannons and drop bombs on the IS, bearing in mind these guys are all fundamentalist Muslims we have a better idea. We can beat the Islamic State without shedding HUMAN blood. […]

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