Another French Hopeful With His Foot In His Mouth

To a delirious crowd of around 20,000, the Socialist candidate cited The Bard as he promised to cast off the ennui of the Nicolas Sarkozy era with a new wave of egalitarian idealism. In dismisssing Sarko the Gnome Pesidency as sans balls, sans brains and sans achievements Mr Hollande told the crowd, was best summed up by Shakespeare’s great words: “They failed because they did not start with a dream.”

Now you might well think that quoting an English poet to a French audience was what landed the socialiste candidate in le merde but no, what got hom into trouble was the Shakespeare loving French googled the phrase to find out which play it was from. And it turned out not to be Shakespearem at all, or at least not THAT Shakespeare.

The author of those words is book reviewer Nicholas Shakespeare who though descended from the fame family as his more illustrious namesake is very much alive.

Boggart Blog has these words from Shakespeare to console M. Hollande. “You can’t win ’em all son.”

That’s not William Shakespeare of course but Ernie Shakespeare, sports correspondent of the Accrington Argos as he commisserated with the losing finalist in annual Oswaldtwistle and District meat pie eating championship.

more on this

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Europe does not just have a debt crisis, it has a crisis of democracy
Bank Of England To Print Money To Avoid Recession

Saving The Euro? We Don’t Need Obama’s Help

Boggart Blog’s international desk has just learned from our team in Washington that earlier in the week as Hausfrau Merkel and Nico the Gnome Sarkozy struggled to formulate a plan to save the European Single Currency, Barack Obama the President of the Entire Universe and Everything Else Besides made a phone call to Frau Merkel to offer his help in solving Europe’s debt crisis.

Since Obama’s plan to solve America’s $14trillion debt crisis by borrowing another $2.5trillion was revealed the USA has had it’s credit rating downgraded, experienced two stock market crashes and been told by the Chines they are going to call in administrators to supervise America’s financial policies.

And Bammy thinks he’s qualified to help Europe. He’s having a laugh isn’t he?

RELASTED POSTS:
Slovakia rebels aganst Euro Bail Out
Broken Societies

You didn’t really think it would stop at Greece did you – Spain’s debt causes worry
Despite The Debt Crisis Euro Nazis War On Democracy Goes On

Support For Gadaffi

Just saw this headline in The Guardian:

Cameron and Sarkozy To Visit Libya

Messages of support for Libya’s embattled regime should be sent to:

Do us all a favour, Colonel,
The Presidential Palace,
Tripoli.

Blogging will be thin for a few days but we’ll be back posting regularly sooon.

Little Nicky Sarkozy

This is nothing to do with our companion blog that goes by the name Little Nicky (Machiavelli) today we have to comment on the lengths French President Little Nicky Sarkozy has to go to in disguising the fact that he’s a shortarse. Somebody in the French pess corps has been blabbing that Little Nicky (4’6″) when standing in a photo line up has a habit of hoisting himself up on tiptoe just as the cameraman is about to click the shutter. This is particularly noticeable when Little Nicky is being photographed with Gordon brown (5’11”) and Barack Obama (6’1″ – not 6’3″ as his people claim) Little Nicky has also been outed as a wearer of personality lifts and has even stood on a box to be photographed with a group of tallish people.

All together now… “Aw, bless…”

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

RELATED POSTS:
Obama’s Insecurities

As Obama said to Sarkozy (picture joke)

Obama to Sarkozy:
Now that’s what I call a stimulus package…

And now to clear up any misunderstanding we may (entirely unintentionally of course) created here is what was really going on:

Bottomgate, the video

More humour every day at Boggart Blog.

THE DAILY STIRRER
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Ian at Authorsden

Sarko Wants To Emulate The Stink That Was Rome.

All politicians lose the plot eventually with the exceptions perhaps of Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher and Barack (I’m President of the whole Universe and everything else besides) Obama all of whom were barking mad on assuming office.

Some are born bonkers, some achieve bonkersness and some have bonkersness thrust upon them as Shakespeare might have said. Though still clinically sane we are assured, French President Nicolas Sarkozy seems to be getting close to the edge comparatively early in his presidency. He has revealed that he want his legacy to be the transformation of the Paris city centre into an ecotropolis. To do this he will guide the biggest modernisation since baron Haussmann laid out the wide avenues and boulevards familiar to all visitors. Sarko says his ambition is to create a city on the lines of Athens, Rome or Jerusalem.

Perhaps he is visually impaired if he has not noticed these are all slummy shit holes dotted with photogenic ruins. Their ancient glories are as much mythical as historic. In fact in the case of The Glory That Was Rome, it was a mythical shit hole too which is who the palaces of the elite on the Palatine Hill were surrounded by high walls and protected by heavily armed barbarian bastards. Athens and Jerusalem were little different. Philosophy, art and scholarship may have flourished but civic engineering still had a long way to go.

Even Rome’s famous sewers left a lot to be desired. The rich lived at the top of their hills, the sewage system relied on gravity and flowed downwards to empty into the River Tiber. The Tiber was an open sewer that ran through the city. The poorer you were the lower down you lived, the lower down you lived the more shit flowed past your door. Riverside properties were not desirable especially in summer.

Sarko’s plan to turn the centre of Paris into a fragrant oasis in the centre of an urban wilderness faces one big problem not dissimilar to Rome’s. Anyone who has stayed in the city through “high” summer will know fragrant is not quite the right word. Paris has an odour problem.

When M. Sarkozy says he wants the city to be like Rome he should be careful what he wishes for.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog.

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Boggart Network News live from the G20.

As reports from the G20 meeting suggest Gordon Brown’s initiative has gone pear shaped with France and Germany linking up against Britain and America while Russia and China pursue their own agenda, President Lula of Brazil in a huff because he thought he was coming to London to open The Notting Hill Carnival, Mr & Mrs Obama trying to get a deal with OK Magazine for exclusive rights to report the parties they are allegedly thowing every week in The White House, Canada and Mexico complaining that the value of their properties has halved since the Blacks moved in next door and Silvio Burlusconi making everybody an offer they can’t refuse, only Boggart Blog can bring you an exclusive from inside the conference centre.

Our reporter managed to secure a few words with Nicolas Sarkozy during the lunch break.

Boggart Blog:
President Sarkozy, rumours aboud that you have threatened to walk out if President Obama insists on other nations following America’s lead on the financial stimulus.

Sarko:
Zut alors, zese rumours, ’ow do zey get started.

BB:
You are not planning to walk out then?

Sarko:
I did not say zat. C’est vrai Obameur must eurnderstand ’ee is not President of ze Weurld but with ’elp freum eur freunds Zhermanee, Chine and Russeur we will ’elp ’im to leurn ’ee is as zey say in Amerique, Noveau Kid On Ze Bleurk.

BB:
So you don’t have a problem?

Sarko:
I did not say zat. Obameur, ’ee is not ze probleum but ’ze meeja ’av insult Mme Sarkozy and French Woman’ood.

BB:
Really M. President. You have a problem with Mrs. Obama? How so?

Sarko:
Zey say Michelle Obameur, she is sexiest Politics WAG. Puh! My Carla is steunning, Michelle she ’av le grose fesses. Avast be’ind as you British wiz your obsessive fondness of Neurtical Metapheurs say. My Carla, ’er arse is like to two pool boules. Yet what do your presse report? Michelle Obameur is le mieux beautifeul Politics WAG, Michelle is fashion icon, Michelle is style setteur.

BB:
Quel dommage?

Sarko:
Quel dommage, Quel effing dommage? It is an inseurlt to France. Parisienne women are the most stylish, ’zis is acknowledge fact. If we allow American media hype to dictate style soon ’ze world will be dres in shell seurts. The American ’hegemony must be resisted. Zat one eyed haggis muncheur Gordon Brown has betrayed ze old alliance of France and Scotland so now we must scuppeur le Special Relationship. Zis could escalate into an internationale incideunt.

BB:
President Sarkozy, thank you for finding time to talk to us. And on that worrying note we leave the G20.

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