As reports from the G20 meeting suggest Gordon Browns initiative has gone pear shaped with France and Germany linking up against Britain and America while Russia and China pursue their own agenda, President Lula of Brazil in a huff because he thought he was coming to London to open The Notting Hill Carnival, Mr & Mrs Obama trying to get a deal with OK Magazine for exclusive rights to report the parties they are allegedly thowing every week in The White House, Canada and Mexico complaining that the value of their properties has halved since the Blacks moved in next door and Silvio Burlusconi making everybody an offer they cant refuse, only Boggart Blog can bring you an exclusive from inside the conference centre.
Our reporter managed to secure a few words with Nicolas Sarkozy during the lunch break.
President Sarkozy, rumours aboud that you have threatened to walk out if President Obama insists on other nations following Americas lead on the financial stimulus.
Zut alors, zese rumours, ow do zey get started.
You are not planning to walk out then?
I did not say zat. Cest vrai Obameur must eurnderstand ee is not President of ze Weurld but with elp freum eur freunds Zhermanee, Chine and Russeur we will elp im to leurn ee is as zey say in Amerique, Noveau Kid On Ze Bleurk.
So you dont have a problem?
I did not say zat. Obameur, ee is not ze probleum but ze meeja av insult Mme Sarkozy and French Womanood.
Really M. President. You have a problem with Mrs. Obama? How so?
Zey say Michelle Obameur, she is sexiest Politics WAG. Puh! My Carla is steunning, Michelle she av le grose fesses. Avast beind as you British wiz your obsessive fondness of Neurtical Metapheurs say. My Carla, er arse is like to two pool boules. Yet what do your presse report? Michelle Obameur is le mieux beautifeul Politics WAG, Michelle is fashion icon, Michelle is style setteur.
Quel dommage, Quel effing dommage? It is an inseurlt to France. Parisienne women are the most stylish, zis is acknowledge fact. If we allow American media hype to dictate style soon ze world will be dres in shell seurts. The American hegemony must be resisted. Zat one eyed haggis muncheur Gordon Brown has betrayed ze old alliance of France and Scotland so now we must scuppeur le Special Relationship. Zis could escalate into an internationale incideunt.
President Sarkozy, thank you for finding time to talk to us. And on that worrying note we leave the G20.
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