Batteries Not Included

News today that a range of nine electric cars are to be given goverrnment subsidies of 25%. This will make the price of an electric car with specification equivalent to a Nissan Micra only slightly more expensive than a mid range Merc or Beemer. Yes electric cars are the Apple iMac of the roads. You pay twice as much for half as much but you get to feel smug.

And then there is the problem of range, The current generation of electric cars will, if you live in a fairly modest semi, get you to the end of the drive before they need charging.

And there are no fast charging points yet which means you have to hang about eight hours while the car charges from a 13 amp socket before continuing your journey.

We have reported previously that electric cars are not clean, they simply shift the shit from the end of your exhaust to the flue of a power station or the outfall from a nuclear plant.

One spokesman for the fraud green energy industry said electric cars will come into their own as renewables become our main source of power. Has anybody noticed how little sunshine we’ve had since October and how windless the cold days of the last two weeks were – except for the days there was a force six and the windmills had to be shut down because they would have torn themselves apart.

But that’s not all the bad news for sandal wearing tree huggers. There’s worse to come:
(a) Making a set of batteries for an electric car and scrapping or recycling the same causes more pollution than conventional fuel will in the car’s lifetime (and nastier pollution too).
(b) When you buy an electric car there a line of small print on the box. It says “batteries not included.

You will be reassured to know Fatsally will not be giving up her 2.5litre turbocharged Subaru Impreza 4 x 4 nor I my 2 litre VTEC Honda Accord any time soon. Proper cars for proper drivers.


Read news story on Electric Cars at BBC News
Nuclear Accident

Wind Power

So Blair has finally given up on trying to tell us that putting big windmills in our back gardens is the answer to all our energy problems. About time too. In the very cold snap last week did anyone notice as they were turning up their heating to full how still it was outside. Not a breath of wind over the whole country and vast fog banks hanging around all day. QED? Well maybe but I doubt we have heard the last about wind. One campaigner for “renewable energy” came out with a clever piece of mathematics to show that all the worries about what happens when the wind does not blow are exagerated. “You only need an average wind speed of 7 meters per second all the year round to be able to meet all our energy needs form this source trilled the radio environmentalist (with emphasis on the “mentalist.” Now I am not great at maths but you don’t have to be Pythagoras to work out that 7 meters per second is about 18 miles per hour around the force 4 or 5 mark on the Beaufort scale, quite windy in fact. That’s all we need 24/7 – he’s having a laugh.
The mathematics of Wind Power are deeply flawed too. I have always said “Mathematics is the only exact science – by using it well you can always prove the answer is exactly what you assumed in the first place.” So how far can we trust the mathematicians? Well Pythagoras is acknowledged as the world’s greatest maths genius and he never ate beans. You see old Py-face believed that every time we fart a little bit of our soul escapes. That means we should either give up beans on toast or else be willing to have a little wind generator up our arses.