Destroying The Planet To Save It

15 November 2023
In the unthinking stampede of politicians and ‘scientists’ towards achieving ‘Net Zero’ and thus ‘saving the planet’ from death by human civilisation, perhaps a reality check is long overdue for the delusional Green Blob and the virtue signalling politicians. In order to save the planet from a largely imaginary threat based on an ideology behind which there is very little scientific and absolutely zero empirical evidence.

And as if that was not enough to make any sane person stop and think, the solutions proposed by the Green Blob, apart from being so expensive they would destroy every functioning national economy on the planet, are going to be more damaging to the planet than continuing to burn coal and gas as our main source of energy and fuel out vehicles with oil.  The Blob propose abandoning this reliable, consistent source in favour of intermittent, unreliable sources, primarily wind and solar powered generators. The Boggart Bloggers have written on the shortcomings of these technologies many times.

A small, clean, green, and utterly reliant on the vagaries of the weather, 100-megawatt wind farm needs 30,000 tons of iron ore; 50,000 tons of concrete and 900 tons of non-recyclable plastic.

For the same power from an ever-so-green solar farm you need to increase those figures by 150 per cent.

An battery pack for a small electric car weighs half a ton, to make just one requires the mining of 250 tons of bedrock somewhere on the planet, and the smelting and refining processes consume vast amounts of energy mostly derived from oil, natural gas and coal.

All these ‘clean, green, renewable’ methods of generation require what are called ‘rare earth metals,’ which are actually quite plentiful but occur in such low concentrations that separating them from the ores in which they are found makes them phenomenally expensive, as well as resulting in vast quantities of toxic shite (including cyanide, arsenic, nitric and hydrochloric acid,) so a phenomenal 2000 tons of toxic waste is produced and most of it is dumped in the environment, just to produce one ton of the any of the rare earth metals needed to make wind turbines, solar panels or lithium ion batteries. On top of all this, processing and shipping is required to the developed nations, and this is usually provided from companies based in from unregulated regimes (e.g. Liberia,) with very lax environmental standards.

As mentioned above Solar and wind generation is limited by its dependence on weather conditions, another issue we have commented on many times, but we need energy ALL the time, so we have to have permanent back-up of a type that can kick in instantly because both cloud cover and wind speeds can change very quickly and it is not possible to turn a key or press a button and start a combined cycle gas generator they way we start our car or switch on the vacuum cleaner.

And then there is the land requirement because the amount of productive land lost to production of food due to the spread of ‘renewables’ is astounding.

To accommodate 2,000 MW of gas or nuclear power generation requires the same area of two 18-hole golf courses. Whereas, accommodating 2,000 MW of wind power requires an area the size of Belgium!

Then, of course, you still need 2,000 MW of gas or nuclear power to accommodate those hundreds of occasions each year when wind and solar power is producing absolutely nothing.

One of the proposed solutions is to build vast battery farms to store surplus energy when wind and sunshine give us a surplus, but apart from their not being enough known lithium reserves in the world to provide adequate backup for just on developed nation, a statistic I read recently claims the giant Tesla factory in Nevada would take 500 years to make enough batteries to supply the USA with electricity for 1 day!

After 30 years of development and countless billions of £$€ in grants, subsidies and incentive payments, wind and solar still supply less than 5 per cent of the world’s energy. You may have seen screaming headlines in mainstream media proclaiming that on a particular day ‘renewables’ generated over 50% of the UK’s consumed electricity, b.ut contrast that with the deafening silence when on cold, windless winter days when solar and wind between then provide less than 5%.

On top of that, in common with all technology, wind turbines and solar panels  are built from non-renewable materials, and they break down, parts wear out or break and have to be replaced time and time again, so installation is definitely not a one-off cost. Instead of ‘saving the planet’ the Green Blob and their rampaging renewables are actually devouring it!

RELATED:

Just When We Need It Most, Renewable Energy Disappears
In an encouraging sign of a great awakening, million of people in the UK are now, after a week of brutally cold, absolutely windless weather asking “Why have we wasted so much money on wind turbines and harvesting solar energy.”
  Yet when politicians are asked directly: “How do we keep the lights on and our homes warm when the wind does not blow and the sun is too low in the sky to make much impression on photovoltaic cells that do the business in solar panels?

Europe’s Cold Spell Exposes Green Energy Policy Failure
So far the autumn of 2022 has been unusually mild which has had eco-warriors getting worked up and gluing their arses to motorways and airport runways to demand that we stop using oil. However winter temperatures across Europe predictably dropped sharply in late November and through most of December to date have been positively arctic. Scientists have offered the opinion that the cold weather spell the ongoing European gas crisis is now “likely” to worsen significantly as usual seasonal weather spreads across the northern half of the continent, bringing with it an increased need for domestic heating.

Minister’s Claim That 40% UK Energy Comes From Renewables Is Technically Illiterate
Britain’s newly installed Secretary of State for Energy, Grant Shapps, is still learning the job so perhaps we should cut him some slack, but even so a statement he made on our energy supply today shows astounding ignorance of technical details relating to his portfolio.
Answering a question in Parliament this morning about Britain’s ability to reach its target of getting 40% of our energy needs from sustainable sources, Shapps sneered that it was not possible for us to reach 40% now as we already get 43% from wind. Unfortunately the sneering sarcasm was misplaced but served to reveal the man in charge of energy policy does not know the difference between energy and electricity.

Common Sense Prevails: Germany Is Dismantling Wind Turbines To Make Room For Coal Mining
We have learned vial a piece in OilPrice.com that turbines at a wind farm in western Germany are being dismantled to allow for the expansion of open cast coal mining operations at an adjacent site. The propsal to increase output at the Garzweiler open-pit lignite coal mine has been described as a “paradoxical” situation given that in recent years the German government has been pushing ahead with the closure of coal and nuclear generating plant to appease its nutty but powerful Green party … Continue reading >>>

The True Cost Of The Green Energy Boom Is Now Being Realized
For four decades we have been fed a constant stream of propaganda assuring us that green energy was the only way forward if we wanted to secure supplies of the energy essential to a modern society while preventing the environmental catastrophes that would be the inevitable consequence of climate change caused by the Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emitted by human industrial, commercial and social activity. … Continue reading >>>

Do We Have A Winter Of Civil Disobedience Ahead?
As many people in Britain slap on the apres sun gloop in the wake of what passes for a heatwave in these cool cloudy climes, our inept politicians caught with their pants down by unusual weather as usual have heard that that winter is coming and are making plans for a coldwave. We are in the grip of an energy crisis at the height of summer. Last week, it was reported that the UK government is laying down plans for a “reasonable worst-case scenario” including blackouts for industry and even households. And this is as energy prices spiral out of control to new records every day.

The Truth About Coal And The Lies Of The Elite
So much for all the COP 26 banter late last year. Let me remind you. The elites all flew in on their private jets and promptly told us we’re all (royal we) getting off fossil fuels and killing coal.So how’s that turning out? The usage of coal is now at record highs:

Official Advice – Prepare For Blackouts This Winter
The UK government is putting plans together for days of organised blackouts this winter, in what they call a “reasonable worst-case scenario” for energy shortages, according to reports in manstream media. Naturally they are blaming this on the embargo on importing gas from Russia but in reality Britain has never imported any more than a small amout of its gas from Russia. The real reason politicians and energy company CEOs are panicking is entirely due to their obession with obtaining all our energy from intermittent sources like wind and sunshine …

UK Households Are Paying Wind Turbine Owners To Not Generate Electricity
On another near windless day here in the United Kingdom, Boggart Blog came across a very interesting piece if news. According to figures published by the business and management consultancy LCP, british taxpayers have been paying operators of wind turbines farms for the time their windmills were NOT generating electricity increased to record levels last year …

“Our Country Is Facing The Biggest Crisis The Crisis We Ever Had”: German Employers’ Association Warns Over Russian Gas Cut
With the Nord Stream 1 pipeline closed for maintenance, with the possibility that President Putin will not allow it to reopen at the end of the scheduled 10 days downtime in retaliation for the EU’s continued support or Ukraine in their conflict with Russia, Germany is facing an unprecedented crisis that could erase the prosperity Germans have grown accustomed to, warned Rainer Dulger, head of the Confederation of German Employers’ Associations.

Net Zero Is A Dangerous Fantasy, But Scientists Believe In Fairies It Seems
With oil and gas prices rocketing and the highly propted sustainable energy sources performing way befow expectations the energy crisis currently gripping Europe (with worse to come as food shortages start to bite, polticians still seem more intent on pandering to the green lobby and chasing the dream of a fossil fuel free world rather securing the energy and food supplies needed by the people they serve.

Shock for The Green Blob – Rewilding is to blame for Mediterranean forest fires
Or at least, to be acccurate, rewilding is partially to blame for Mediterranean forest fires. Which is darkly amusing as that man most insistent upon rewilding, George Monbiot, is trying to tell us that it’s all about climate change.

Climate Change Research Paper Censored by The British Hydrological Society For Telling The Truth

German Scientist Confims Climate Change Ia A Politically Motivated Scam
Even as the inbred idiot Prince Charles was babbling to a hand picked audience about the skid marks in his underpants being caused by Climate Change, a somewhat more scientifically literate person, Dr. Friedrich Karl Ewert, a retired geologist and data computation expert, has confirmed what those of us dubbed ‘climate deniers’ have been telling you for years …

America and UK Lead the World in Climate Scepticism Several times now it has looked as if the climate change scare was over as the enthusiasm of climate scitentists for changing real world data to fit in with the predictions of their mathematical models has been exposed. But as the scare was never about the environment, but was a scam to redistribute wealth from rich to poor countries, the politicians are throwing their propaganda budgets behind it again.

Global Warming Is Not Causing Any Polar Ice Cap Meltdown Says NASA
Updated data from NASA satellite instruments reveal the Earth’s polar ice caps have not receded at all since the satellite instruments began measuring the ice caps in 1979. Since the end of 2012, moreover, total polar ice extent has largely remained above the post-1979 average. The updated data contradict one of the most frequently asserted global warming claims – that global warming is causing the polar ice caps to recede.

Polar Temperature Data ‘Proving’ Climate Change Nothing More than a Guess
Dr Benny Peiser who heads up the Global Warming Policy Foundation (GWPF), has said temperature readings from the Arctic and Antarctic used to estimate the effects of global warming are nothing more than guesswork. GWPF last month announced its intention to carry out a wide-ranging review of the data underpinning claims on global warming.

Another Kick In The Bollocks For Warmageddonists And CAGWARTS
I’ve had many arguments with the Warmageddonists, the people who have been saying that the ‘scientific consensus’ had agreed if we did not shut down all coal, oil and gas related activites (that is, just about all human activities except unprotected sex and sleeping) the earth was going to turn into a giant furnace and we would all burn. Those of us audacious enough to ask when this was going to happen felt the horizon shifting.

U.N. Official Reveals Real Reason Behind Warming Scare
We said it was a scam, now a United Nations official has admitted the whole climate change scare was really about destroying capitalism. But what doo the elites plan to replace it with, A Corporaite Global Dictator ship in which the world is run by unelected bureaucrats selected from withing a small, elite class? Actually we predicted that as well.

Green Energy & Net Zero: A Herd Of Elephants In The Room

The Cuadrilla Lancashire gas exploration wells yielded very high-quality natural gas from just a few fractures [ … ]Claims that less than 1\100th of the gas resource of 37.6 trillion m3 could be extracted has been shown to be false, no actual UK data on gas recovery is available the claim was based on pre-2010 US data. Just 10% gas recovery from Bowland shale could supply 50 years’ worth of current UK gas demand.

UK Energy Crisis Deepens as prices and demand skyrocket while supplies shrink to critical levels
It is ironic that in the week world leaders and flat faced Swedeish trolls are gathering in Glasgow for an orgy of virtue signalling that will inevitably drive millions of people in the developed world into fuel poverty and result in more industrial jobs being exported from the west to the world’s major produceres of Carbon Dioxide emissions, China and India, the energy crunch that is affecting the whole of Europe is about to hit the United Kingdom extremely hard. … Continue reading >>>

Shale Gas Salvation? Frack Off ….
A few months ago, before the June oil prices crash, the US oil industry was ebullient. “It is too late for OPEC to stop the shale revolution”, industry pundits squawked, “OPEC can’t stop the shale industry” – screamed banner headlines in the usually restrained financial press. But if a week is a lon=g time in politics, three months is eternity in the oil business.

House battery to store energy will ‘change entire infrastructure of the world’ – or maybe not
Another costly new product hailed as a breakthough in technology, this time a clutching-at-straws exercise from the failing electric car company Tesla, completely fails to live up to the hype under scrutiny. Hailed as a super battery, a mjor advance in battery technology that will change the world to store power for a household, it turns out to be nothing more than a streamined car battery. It will run the average home for about 2 hours.

Researchers Discover How to Use Living Plants to Generate Electricity.
Most of the hyped green energy solutions to generate electricity from wind or sunshine are so obviously flawed the only thing that makes them economically viable is that governments offer huge subsidies to generators. This in turn makes the sustainables so expensive that consumers cannot afford the intermittent energy they produce.

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New Experiment Confirms Reality Doesn’t Exist If You Are Not Looking At It

According to a well-known theory in quantum physics, a particle’s behavior changes depending on whether there is an observer or not. It basically suggests that reality is a kind of illusion and exists only when we are looking at it. Numerous quantum experiments were conducted in the past and showed that this indeed might be the case.

Now, physicists at the Australian National University have found further evidence for the illusory nature of reality. They recreated the John Wheeler’s delayed-choice experiment and confirmed that reality doesn’t exist until it is measured, at least on the atomic scale.

I would take that a stage further. Half an hour on Facebbok shows that for most people reality does not exist even whe I am looking at it.

Read more on Reality Experiment at Collective Evolution

Schroedingers Cat explained:

When not observed a cat is either hungry or sleeping but probably sleeping.

When observed a cat is either hungry or sleeping but probably hungry.

Meanwhile outside the M25

We’ve always said politicians live in a bubble, completely divorced from reality and therefor from the lives of the people they represent. Harsh, some said, but it turns out we were not harsh enough because there is now evidence coming in the the elitists parachuted into constituencies to hold safe seats for the major parties are not simply out of touch with the reality of ordinary lives, they don’t even know where their constituencies are.

from The Daily Telegraph

Ingleton is a village of impressive natural beauty, boasting limestone caves, flowing waterfalls and literary links to master sleuth Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately for one Labour MP, that it isn’t the Ingleton she represents in Parliament.

Helen Goodman, Shadow Media Minister, has acted for the village of Ingleton, County Durham, for almost a decade. But in a speech yesterday she confused her constituency village with one by the same name 70 miles away in North Yorkshire.

The Oxford educated MP is said to have “babbled on” about the village’s connection to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as well as its beautiful limestone caves and waterfalls while opening a classic car show and community fair.

In reality, the Ingleton in which she spoke to 500 baffled constituents has a disused mine and little more than two rows of houses either side of a main road, complete with a school, church and village pub.

The 56-year-old has been accused of a “disgraceful” lack of knowledge about her constituency of Bishop Auckland, which she has represented since 2005, and of plagiarising the speech from the wrong Wikipedia page for Ingleton.

Here are images of just a few of the interesting things around Ingleton Yorks.

Thornton Force
Thornton Force

Subterranean river in White Scar Caves
Subterranean River in White Scar Caves, Ingleton, Yorks

Ribblehead viaduct
Ribblehead Viaduct on the famous Settle to Carlisle line.

Ingleton, County Durham on the other hand has some truly amazing public benches:

Ingleton, County Durham

A tad unfair perhaps but if this MP had ever actually actually toured her constituency with her eyes open instead of constantly asking her agent “how much longer do we have to hang around this dump before I can get back to the members bar in Westminster?” she might have noticed a distinct lack of waterfalls, caves, viaducts and Sherlock Holmes impersonators.

In the interests of balance however, we hear the Tory boy who recently won the by election in Newark, Nottinghamshire, has been approaching people in Newark New Jersey and introducing himself as their new Member of Parliament.

Read more

Dave And The Internet Of Things

Our revered Prime Minister Call-me-twatface has been talking about the internet of things. Now Cammers probably does not understand this phrase probably but he thinks it’s the future because a scientist told him that’s what progressive people are thinking (and to that scientist I say; I was promised a personal hovercraft by some geek on Tomorrows World forty years ago – WHERE’S MY FUCKING HOVERCRAFT?

The internet of things is the latest buzzphrase among those who think anything that contributes to blurring the line between the real world and the virtual world inhabited by “scientists” and other reality deniers is “kewl”.

internet-things

There are many emerging technologies that have practical applications than the robot fuck buddies and wearable technology of the internet of things but manufacturers and owners of the creepy stuff like Google Goggles or smart watches that report your activities to a server farm.

Supermarkets are introducing smart shelves, homes are getting smart meters which tell the government how much energy you are wasting, and businesses are all finding ways to connect everyday objects to the internet of things with touch screens, QR codes, RFID chips and other sensors.

Google, being the most evil corporation on the planet, are even working on technology to connect our brains to the internet. All this extended connectivity has officially been dubbed the “Internet of Things” – and someone has told he will sound cool if he uses the phrase. Here’s a presser of Dave’s speech made earlier today:

“David Cameron has announced that the world is on the brink of ‘a new industrial revolution,’ where the internet will allow everyday objects like fridges to ‘talk to each other.’
Speaking at a trade fair in Hanover, Germany, the Prime Minister said that ‘the internet of things’ would transform the world, as he announced a package of measures to promote Britain’s position in the global technological race.

“I see the Internet of Things as a huge transformative development – a way of boosting productivity, of keeping us healthier, making transport more efficient, reducing energy needs, tackling climate change,” said Mr Cameron, adding that the world was now “on fast-forward”. Well Dave might want to live in a dystopia where humans are Slaves Of The Machine but count me out.

In fact there isn’t much science involved that has not been around for years, what drives the internet of things is greed, lust for power and control freakery.

The Internet of Things really refers to seemingly ordinary objects that are programmed so they can make “decisions” based on the data they receive. That information helps people learn and grow from the feedback, developers to improve their products, advertisers to better understand their audience, and most amazing of all, for processes to become automated without human interaction. It also helps governments and corporations to nag us to consume more (and thus pay more VAT) and do as we are told because Big Brother is watching.

Recent technology glitches, covert data gathering exercises and hacking scandals demonstrate that personal data is vulnerable, the internet was never designed for the things it is being used for, such security as there was got stripped out when a scientist decided he could do a better job than the computer professionals and nobody has as yet addressed the failings. Governments and corporations have to invest in strong underlying infrastructure or this information is left vulnerable. The problem with that of course is that a secure internet would be far too difficult for scientists, academics and politicians to use although ordinary punters would manage quite well. We were landed with the POS we have now because scientists felts the systems used with ease by process workers, mechanics, clerks, shop, warehouse and distribution staff and even post office counter clerks were too difficult for someone with a PhD.

This question is being debated now, but in the meantime let’s focus on the fun we can have with some very cool new toys.

“My car will tell me when I need to fill the tank, check the tyres and top up the oil but it will not let me exceed the speed limit”
“My fridge will tell me when I need to buy more butter but will lock itself and warn me that I’ve already had my daily safe allowance when I try to get a third bottle of beer”
“My TV will tell me when my favourite programmes are on then automatically switch itself to a channel broadcasting output approved by the government”
My wardrobe will tell me it is the voice of Azazel and I must go out and kill people wearing silly trousers – oh, come to think of it I’ve had one of those for years. I tried to get rid of it once but it threatened to tell the Police National Crime Database where the bodies are buried.

The world is run by insane people doing insane things – John Lennon

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Judge Denies Attempt To Block Obama’s Transfer Of Internet Oversight To UN

October 2016: In a last ditch effort to block Obama’s plan to allow the US Commerce Department to hand over oversight of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) to a multi-stakeholder community – which includes the technical community, businesses, civil society and foreign governments – 4 state attorneys went to a Texas federal court alleging that the transition, in the absence of congressional approval, amounts to an illegal forfeiture of U.S. government property. Confirming once more that under Obama’s Presidency the judiciary and legal system have been totally politicised, their case was thrown out on a technicality.

Humans To The back Of The Bus, The Day Of The Cyborg Is Here

We have reported Google’s plans to implant microprocessors in your head to interface directly with your brain and override everything that makes you human, we have expose neuroscience for the scam it is; a science whore’s con trick to get research grants, did you know for example that neuroscientists using the latest technology have detected meaningful brain activity in dead fishes.

And we have even warned you of scientists plans to replace your other half with a robot fuck buddy.

Scientists say they are on course to free humanity from the constraints of being human. it seems to us as if we are being driven on a runaway train towards slavery in a scientific dictatorship. Almost every day we hear of massive continued investment in replacing humans with robots, both economically and socially.

In parallel we see science making advances in dehumanising us and robbing people of their individuality in global projects like The Emperor Obama’s BRAIN initiative in the U.S. and its counterpart in Europe, the Human Brain Project. These projects will attempt to decode the human brain and tailor it for “treatments,” (a.k.a programming) as well as to enable the realization of full brain-computer-interface technology.

The pace of these developments has increased toward the dizzying, such as a “living” transistor that uses DNA merged with graphene, the advent of quantum computing, the creation of avatars, DNA nanobots, and a range of neuro applications that are beginning to transform our fundamental relationship with the “real” world.’

Now most of this is just scientists, being insane and totally detached from reality as usual, having what passes in the scientific mind for a wank. Ninety – nine out of ten things scientists tell us are “just around the corner” or “about to become reality” are really nothing more substantial than fantasies resulting from scientists inability to distinguish fact from fiction. They think Doctor Who is a travel documentary.

The dangerous thing of course is that these plans to make us all into human – android hybrids are being taken seriously (Transhumanism)by politicians and corporate bosses. Makes one realise what a terrible mistake it was to close the mental hospitals. We used to keep these sociopaths banged up for the safety of themselves and others, now we give them research grants and tell them to find ways of destroying humanity.

Read an article on this at Activist Post

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At last, science publication admits science is a religion.

Desperate to cling onto their ability to dictate reality, the crumbling mainstream media is beginning to kill off article comment sections in a cynical bid to silence dissenting voices.

Studies confirm that article comment sections – for better or worse – are heavily swaying public opinion. How many times have you read a mainstream news article about NSA spying, drones, gun control or any other other hot button issue where the author sides with the establishment, only to have their argument completely eviscerated by a deluge of irate, intelligent, well informed respondents in the comment section?

Recent polls show that trust in mainstream media is hovering at record lows. After largely failing to influence the court of public opinion via paid trolls, the establishment is starting to panic and is responding by moving to cull comment sections altogether. […]

As an excellent Daily Tech piece highlights, Popular Science admitted that its decision to pull the comment section was in order to preach a “scientific doctrine” on global warming without being challenged.

Preach? Doctrine?

And there are still science worshippers out there (not as many as in the past however) who want to tell you science is an objective academic discipline and not a religion. Yeah right.

The origin of the word “doctrine” is to indoctrinate. Therefore, Popular Science is taking the most unscientific approach possible – by censoring debate and stifling alternative ideas – in order to indoctrinate its readers.

Next it will be taking them to the jungle and giving them a drink of kool aid.

Read full story

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Science and Reality

A long article (with pictures) on the attempts of scientists to explain reality by building a computer simulation of the universe. The idea sounds familiar somehow, I’m sure I came across it before in a Sci Fi film or a television comedy series.

Oh well, they’re scientists so they must know what they’re talking about I suppose.

Read all Science and Reality

I wonder how long it will be before they realise to build a model of the universe first it would be helpful to know what the universe is and how it works.

FORTY TWO days maybe?

Adultery In A Parallel Universe

Dr Catherine Hakim, a sociologist and bestselling author, argues that a “sour and rigid English view” of infidelity is condemning millions of people to live frustrated “celibate” lives with their spouses.

In a book bound to provoke controversy, she likens faithful husbands and wives to “caged animals” and argues that they should be free to explore their “wild side” with lovers without the threat of divorce.

Meeting a secret lover for a casual encounter should be as routine as dining out at a restaurant instead of eating at home, she claims.

British couples should take their cue from French, who she claims are happier and have more stable home lives because of a permissive and “philosophical” approach to adultery. You may say this is an immoral and decadent attitude; I could not possibly comment.

Husbands in Britain could also learn much from the “experienced libertines” across the Channel who, she insists, are the “masters of seduction”.

Dr. Dr Hakim, a former L S E social scientist who is now operating under the duvet of the Centre for Policy Studies think-tank the, provoked controversy last year in which she coiled the term erotic capital “erotic capital” and urged people to use this commodity to get on life. It only proved that social scientists are out of touch with reality as people have been doing just that since Adonis was a mortal.

In her latest book, The New Rules, Dr. Hakin renames adulterous trysts as “parallel relationships”. Further proof we think that she is living in a parallel universe.

Read full story:

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Apprentices: A format worth doing a thousand times?

People with good memories sometimes pick me up for recycling jokes, using the same joke but rewording it to fit different circumstances. Well as anyone who has ever done standup (as I have back in the days when I could stand up) will tell you,
“If a joke is worth doing once it’s worth doing a thousand times.”

Not so with ‘reality’ TV formats however.

Celebrity Apprentices with Donald Trump, Piers Morgan, a guy who used to be in the Sopranos and still thinks he is a Capo di Mafia and a load of people I’ve never heard of or remember only because they used to be somebody well known.

What I’m talking about is, you remember Taxi, the show that launched Danny di Vito to stardom? Well one of the celebrity apprentices is the fit redhead who was launched to obscurity by the same show.

Another reality show on at the monent is a kind of X Factor for standups (the C factor – I mean C for comedy of course, not the painfully unfunny ‘Cs’ who have been kicked out so far. The best line I’ve heard in the show to date came from one of the judges, Kate Capstick. She told an aspiring comedian before giving him his marching orders, “You’re ego is writing cheques you talent can’t cash.”

Now that one really is a keeper.

(NB: Anyone thinking of telling me I watch too uch crap on TV, well I’m not ashamed of watching what I watch but the trick of getting a blog post out of a show you haven’t watched is to watch one episode and get to know the format then read the reviews online. It’s a bit like the technique for the art of talking bollocks and talking about books we haven’t read.

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Apprentices (comic verse)

Madness Gone Politically Correct

The doughty campaigners of Boggart Blog have often been astounded by the sheer irrationality of many things done in the name of science or the pronouncements of “scientists.” Some of the most extreme instances of scientists demonstrating how far removed from reality they are have led us to question the sanity of the whole sub – species.

The latest thing they have come up with has left even our hardened journos gobsmacked.

It s not unreasonable to suspect the mental stability of people who spend their lives trying to make mice more intelligent, teach crocodiles to speak, molesting dumb animals in other ways or talking to dolphins but when they start thinking of their dolphon friends as real people we may be sure there are deep seated reality issues involved. What then are we to make of a new report from a team of scientists (marine zoologists we guess) who have demanded that in future dolphins be treated as “non – human persons.”

Now don’t take this the wrong way, I love dolphins. I do not think the Japanese should eat them, mammals do not belong in sushi. In my view however for humans to eat raw fish as dolphins do would be barbaric. Dolphins will only be the equal of humans when they demand their fish be served lightly grilled and accompanied by tartar sauce. I mean, what kind of human would eat raw fi…oh – um.

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More humour every day at Boggart Blog