The Truth Is Out, Net Zero Will Bakrupt The World

A study by the National Infrastructure Commission (NIC), published on Tuesday 18 October, estimates in its advice to government that if the UK is to hit its 2050 target for achieving ‘Net Zero’, taxpayers will have to find roughly double the amount of money the nation would have had to spend on renewing and updating energy and transport infrastructure over the next 27 years to £2 trillion, the additional £1 trillion to be spent on the implementing the green agenda.

A trillion, its easy to say but is an unimaginably big amount of money to find. A good illustration of how big is to imagine spending a pound a second every single second, no weekends, no holidays, no time off for good behaviour, for the next 31,709 years and 10 months (and yes, I did use a computers to work that out.)

31,710 years ago our ancestors, though they had moved on from the knuckle dragging phase of human evolution, were, as far as we know, still living in caves, eating raw meat and running around naked.

A trillion is a conservative estimate of course. Given that the UK national debt is increasing at roughly one million pounds every three and a half minutes and that our spending on health and welfare, energy, roads and railways, education, defence, environment etc. etc. is not likely to go down that estimated cost of Net Zero is likely to increase exponentially in the way government projects always do and end up having cost not two trillion but 22 trillion in 27 years time.

So unless government suddenly comes to its senses and realises that unless we want to return to living in caves, eating raw meat and running around naked we had better abandon ‘net zero’ unless it plans to reduce unemployment by hiring gangs of muscular people to shovel money into firey furnaces (thus causing lots of CO2 to be emitted.) Most of the (estimated) extra trillion would go on replacing petrol cars with electric ones and gas boilers with electric heat pumps, and on generating, transmitting and distributing the extra electricity needed for these two uses. It also includes a host of other capital projects, including better household insulation. With all that electric demand, we would need extra power stations, extra pylons and upgrades of household electrical circuits. And we would need subsidies for installing the heat pumps and buying electric vehicles. And if anyone thinks that lot could be done for a paltry one trillion, that person is probably working as a senior economic adviser for the treasury department.

According to the assessment £74 billion would have to be spent on closing down and decommissioning the gas network: the National Infrastructure Commission (NIC), which was set up to promote economic growth, has been so totally hijacked by the bansturbators of the green lobby that it is now a National Dismantling Commission.

With the exception of home insulation, very little of that £1 trillion would actually improve your lifestyle in any practical way. It does not promise to give you cheaper or more reliable electricity in fact wind and solar are proving more expensive and less reliable. It would not save you any money or give you any more spare time — or make you more productive.

It would generally replace smaller things with bigger things — more pylons, heavier cars, bigger radiators, wind farms occupying hundreds of acres of good land instead of gas turbine power stations occupying five acres — so it would actually clutter the world more.

Facts and arguments aren’t going to change the minds of Net Zero advocates of course. What will change their minds is the sense that those of us who do not enjoy the inflated salaries and inflation linked pensions of public sector workers, and therefore are opposed to all this Net Zero, save the planet bollocks (not of which is backed by scientific evidence, all the green lobby have is output from mathematical models,) and are getting angry. The fearmongering tactics favoured by the elite has failed as realisation grows that all these virtue signalling policies so beloved of the elite are going to impoverish us and push us back to the kind of living standards endured by working people in the nineteenth century and might just pick up out pitchforks and cudgels (metaphorical ones of course, we can do much more damage with a couple of household cleaning products and a cheap burner phone,) and going after Net Zero zealots, their energy efficient homes and their beloved pimped up and highly combustible golf trolleys.

They need to feel the need to abandon quasi – religious ideology at an emotional level and face mundane reality. And as we all know, because the elites, the wannabe overlords, taught us, fear is best weapon for changing minds.

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On Wednesday this week Germany’s coalition government approved putting coal power plants back online until the end of March 2024 to ensure energy security when natural gas supplies cannot meet demand. Though Germany has for at least a decade vied with Britain to claim leadership of Europe’s ill – advised push for net zero, the Berlin government has been forced into this move

Is Hatred Of Greta Thunberg Justified?
As the backlash against the Greta Thunberg cult gathers momentum a lot of lefties are asking why the little Climate Warriorette is so hated by so many people. As usual with the left, they are asking the wrong question. Just as they asked, “Why can’t you believe the scientists, when in fact not only is it always legitimate (and scientific,) to question and challenge scientific theory, so it is perfectly rational and logical to challenge the Cult of Saint Greta ….

The Offshore Wind Fiasco Sets New Records For Government Incompetence
In an article on wind powered generators last week a science & technology writer showed himself in need of remedial education in basic literacy:”Meanwhile, 14GW of installed capacity puts us second in the world behind China,” he burbled The problem here is inability to understand the meaning of ‘installed capacity.’ If it means a capability of generating 14GW of electricity, as it would if we were discussing gas, nuclear or coal that would be lovely …

Millions Of Brits Told Not To Heat Homes At Night As Part Of ‘Net Zero’ Push
No, they aren’t urging elites to ditch their private jets for commercial, or not to burn 1,000 of fuel taking the yacht out for a jaunt. Chris Stark, head of the UK’s Climate Change Committee, wants ordinary citizens to turn off their electric heaters (heat pumps) at night as part of a wider drive to deliver “emissions savings,” which includes a shift away from gas boilers – which Chris, a hypocrite, still has.

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Debunked: The Great Renewable Green Delusion
The war in Ukraine has not caused the global energy crisis of early 2022 byt merely exacerbated it. Currently the nations currently in conflict with Russia over its incursion into Ukraine are those which are most dependent for their energy needs on Russian oil and gas. And now their loonytoons ‘net zero’ green energy policies have failed they are biting the hand that feeds them.

Has The Green Blob’s War On Fossil Fuels Been Lost On The Battlefields Of Ukraine
With some energy sector opinion makers already pronouncing the ‘net zero’ agenda is already dead as oil and gas supplies from Russia dry up due to NATO / EU sanctions and Moscow’s retaliatory export bans which have only been in force a week at the most, governments in the liberal democracies of Europe and North America are already talking about starting up redundant coal and nuclear power stations, the UK, Netherlands and other nations with offshore gas operations in the North Sea are suddenly finding that it may now be economically viable to start pumping again and (whisper it ever so quietly,) coal is coming back into the reckoning as an energy source …

Extinction Rebellion Wants To Destroy Civilization, Not Just Fossil Fuels
Readers may find it hard to believe but while our attention has been focused on the coronavirus pandemic, other things have been happening. Recently the eco – crusties of EkSTIMKtion Rebellion have elbowed their way back into out consciousness and now, with Antifa and Black Lives Matter, form an unholy trinity of Marxist seditionist groups intent not only on destroying capitalism but destroying civilisation …

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We Told You So – Government-funded Report Confirms World’s Largest offshore Wind Farm is UnprofitableA report commissioned by the Norwegian government has contradicted Boris Johnson’s recent claim that offshore wind costs have fallen by 70% in a decade. The report also blows a huge hole in Johnson’s grandiose pledges to the COP26 conference that offshore wind power would propel Britain to its net – zero target for Carbon Dioxide emissions well before 2050, the target set by the climate conference for achieving that target.
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COP26 Climate Conference – Just Another Elitist Scam To Steal Your Money
If you are one of the people who still relies on mainstream media for information, the ‘on – message’ news reports coming from the COP26 Climate Conference in Glasgow this week, and during the build up to the conference, might have convinced you that the entire world (barring a few crazy conspiacy theorists,) is signed up to the ‘net zero’ agenda and believes that destroying the economies of the developed nations while exporting our jobs, business and prosperity to places like India and China is the only way to save the planet. Continue reading >>>

Green dreams of Heat Pumps Continue reading >>>
When Boris Johnson revealed the UK Government plans for achieving ‘net zero’ carbon emissions by 2050 it emerged the much teased clean, green replacement for gas boilers as our main source of domestic heating is to be heat pumps. The Daily Stirrer counters the pseudo-scientific bollocks and reveals this ‘new technology has been around for a hundred years.

Worst polluting coal and wood fires banned in fight to cut emissions
Domestic coal and certain types of wood are to be banned from sale from next year in a bid to cut air pollution, ministers will announce on Friday.

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Another Setback For UK’s Net Zero Green Dreams As Cost Rise Faster Than China’s CO2 Emissions
The UK ruling elite’s dreams suffered another setback today when Swedish energy company Vattenfall announced work on the Norfolk Boreas offshore wind farm is to be suspended. The reasons given are spiralling costs, uncertainty in supply lines and the economic reality that offshore wind farms are hideously expensive to operate as well as being enormously damaging to the marine environment.

Out Of Touch Elites Are Destroying Civilised Society Society With Net Zero Obsession And No Plan B
How good it must have felt for politicians to set those lofty goals, knowing that someone else must deal with the cost and the implementation? But now the bills are now arriving, and they’re bringing a world of hurt. To sum up: Western policy elites have embarked on the electrification of society, replacing hydrocarbons in housing and transport, but without the technology to replace it well.

Net Zero Will Lead To The End Of Modern Civilisation, Says Top Scientist
In a recently published science paper, Dr. Wallace Manheimer said Net Zero would be the end of modern civilisation. Writing about wind and solar power he argued it would be especially tragic “when not only will this new infrastructure fail, but will cost trillions, trash large portions of the environment, and be entirely unnecessary”.

Just When We Need It Most, Renewable Energy Disappears
In an encouraging sign of a great awakening, million of people in the UK are now, after a week of brutally cold, absolutely windless weather asking “Why have we wasted so much money on wind turbines and harvesting solar energy.”
  Yet when politicians are asked directly: “How do we keep the lights on and our homes warm when the wind does not blow and the sun is too low in the sky to make much impression on photovoltaic cells that do the business in solar panels?

Europe’s Cold Spell Exposes Green Energy Policy Failure
So far the autumn of 2022 has been unusually mild which has had eco-warriors getting worked up and gluing their arses to motorways and airport runways to demand that we stop using oil. However winter temperatures across Europe predictably dropped sharply in late November and through most of December to date have been positively arctic. Scientists have offered the opinion that the cold weather spell the ongoing European gas crisis is now “likely” to worsen significantly as usual seasonal weather spreads across the northern half of the continent, bringing with it an increased need for domestic heating.

The True Cost Of The Green Energy Boom Is Now Being Realized
For four decades we have been fed a constant stream of propaganda assuring us that green energy was the only way forward if we wanted to secure supplies of the energy essential to a modern society while preventing the environmental catastrophes that would be the inevitable consequence of climate change caused by the Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emitted by human industrial, commercial and social activity. … Continue reading >>>

France: Strikes Against Emmanuel Macron Enter Third Week

The strikes against pension reforms have massive support in France (Picture via: libcom.org

Though the situation for those needing to use public transport in France has improved slightly in the past week on nationwide strikes in protest at the government’s proposed reforms to labour law and retirement pensions entered their week. Official spokespeople claim there has been progress in negotiations with unions, but there is little observable evidence to support this.

However, the crisis hitting France, one of the world’s biggest economies at the height of the holiday season is far from over.

Anti-government protesters maintained the pressure on President Emmanuel Macron with a new march through Paris in yesterday afternoon. Some workers are determined to to maintain the general strike throughout the holiday period and into the New Year.

SNCF, the state owned rail system said about 60 per cent of trains were at a standstill, down from 90 per cent earlier in the strike but enough to disrupt life in the nation. Provincial cities have suffered fewer problems but in Paris tourists and commuters alike are still struggling to move around the French capital, due to buses and the subway system as well as local train servuces being hit by the industrial action.

The centrist Macron, a former investment banker, wants to raise the retirement age to 64 and says the current pension system costs too much; unions say the pension reform is part of Macron’s plans to dismantle hard-won worker rights, and want to preserve a system that allows some workers to leave as early as their fifties.

Many protestors are angry that while Macron says the nation cannot afford to pay pensions the president is still inviting uneducated, unskilled, uncivilised, unemployable third world migrants to the country where they are fed, housed, educated and cared for at the expense of French taxpayers.

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Paris brought to a standstill by anti-Macron transport protests

On Friday, public transport workers in Paris staged a coordinated walk-out against Macron’s planned pension former which caused the worst disturbance to the French capital’s public transport network in more than a decade.

The strike represents the first major action taken against President Macron’s plan to standardized ‘universal’ pension system. The plan would see one single points-based pension system created out of the 42 different systems which currently are in place right now, the Local reports.

Massive traffic jams and large crowds waiting at the platforms with at least a few lines still working were both triggered by the protest.

Yellow Vests block Major Roads, Cause Transport Chaos In France

Reuters reports French “yellow vest” protesters wreaked havoc with road transport on Tuesday by occupying autoroute toll booths and even torching some of them. France’s biggest toll road operator, Vinci Autoroutes , said there were demonstrations at 40 of its sites and that several highway intersections had been heavily damaged, mainly in southern of France.

The Bandol toll station, near Marseille in the south of France, suffered fire damage on Tuesday and the A50 highway was closed, said Vinci, whose network is mainly in the south and west of the country.

“Motorists should take utmost care as they approach toll gates and motorway access ramps due to the presence of numerous pedestrians,” Vinci said in a statement.

People have died in roadside accidents at yellow vest roadblocks in recent weeks, mostly at roundabouts blocked by groups of demonstrators. The ‘yellow vests’ protesters – named after the fluorescent jackets French motorists must have in their cars – have blocked roads and roundabouts across France since mid-November.

The demonstrations began as a protest against fuel tax increases, but have since grown into a bigger backlash against the policies of French President Emmanuel Macron.

Over the past four Saturdays, demonstrators have torched cars, looted shops and clashed with police in Paris and other French cities, although protests in the capital last weekend were smaller and more peaceful than previous ones.


Index of posts on France

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Having Sex on the Subway With Google Translate

Last week, Prague subway authorities announced the idea that a special “Love Train” service will be introduced on the city subway. The idea was that on these Love Train a special carriage would be reserved for singles to meet, get to know each other and maybe make dates and begin romances.

The story went viral on the internet after Mexican news service Vanguardia.com.mx posted a version translated by an online translation service which reported that the Prague subway had introduced special wagons, in which couples could make love.

Title of the article which appeared in the Europe section was unambiguous, it read:

Sex in the subway in Prague is allowed.

In the original Czech version of the text said the Prague transport department was to make cars destined for the lonely, there was no mention about sex.

The poorly translated article caused a sensation. It was linked by hundreds of Mexicans and Spanish speaking Americans on Facebook and Twitter. The Prague tourist office reported a spike in bookings, mostly from people who are married – but not to each other.

And the article that was mistranslated: Prague plans subway Love Train for singles

We wonder what will happen when Boggart Blog breaks our latest exclusive; Cameron and Miliband come to an accommodation on same sex marriage which our favourite online translation service turns into “Cameron and Miliband meet in hotel for gay sex.”

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Only Three Steps To Heaven … or you can take the lift

“There are only three steps to heaven”, the late, great Eddie Cochran used to sing in the days when I was nicking me dear old Dad’s Brylcreem and trying to comb my hair into a quiff (by the end of the day it had always reverted to the standard schoolby fringe)

In these increasingly idle times we don’t even need to take three steps to heaven, we can just ride in the lift.

Japanese construction company Obayashi wants to build an elevator to space and transport passengers to a station about a tenth the distance to the moon.

The elevator would use super-strong carbon nanotubes in its cables and could be ready as early as 2050, according to Tokyo-based Obayashi.

The cables would stretch some 60,000 miles, about a quarter the distance to the moon, and would be attached to Earth at a spaceport anchored to the ocean floor. The other end would dangle a counterweight in space.

The elevator would zip along at 125 mph, possibly powered by magnetic linear motors, but would take about a week to get to the station. It would carry up to 30 people.
Up above, the space station would have living quarters and lab facilities. Solar panels connected to the station would generate electricity that would be transmitted to the ground.

NASA has also investigated space elevators, awarding $900,000 in 2009 to LaserMotive for developing a laser-powered robotic climber. Aside from the tremendous hurdles for the technology involved. While space elevators could significantly reduce space-related costs compared with rocket launches, the infrastructure could cost tillions to build a report said.

Well that no doubt will have the space freaks cluthching their naughty bits and rocking to and fro in ecstacy but as usual with these ever-so-easy ideas to conquer the laws of nature people have not thought it through properly.

Who would ever want to spend a week in a lift with 29 other people? I have been in some very well appointed lifts, in the Empire State Building, No 1 Canada Square The Kaknäs Tower in Stockholm, and a few others but I don’t recall one with bedrooms, showers and a restaurant. And where would the toilet facilities go?

Would there be separate flushing loos, say one per 4 people, or would space trekkers all have to share the same bucket behind a curtain in the corner?

Forget about the scientists delusional notion of doing experiments in a space laboratory and unravelling the secrets of the universe, a week crammed into a lift with the odours of 30 peoples’ body functions, the protucts of wich are decomposing somewhere very near by would be enough to finish of Bear Grylls let alone a bunch of wussy scientists.

The space lift is one of those ideas that as a mathematical experiment might look fine on paper but as a real world business venture we can’t see it getting off the ground.

Read more: http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57383872-1/japan-plans-snail-paced-space-elevator-for-2050/#ixzz1nQWJQEYY

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Former Lib Dem MP Lembit Segways Into Insanity.

Since losing his seat at the election former Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik has been looking for ways to regain his position on the periphery of the public stage. Having failed in his attempt to launch himself as a stand up comedian Lembit is now trying to get himself arrested for riding one of those ridiculous Segway scooters in the streets of London.

For anyone not familiar with the sheer whackiness of this vehicle (?) here’s a picture of Lembit on his machine followed by his puff piece informed and balanced article on the virtues of the “eco-friendly” Segway.

“I’ve found it nothing less than preposterous that our Department for Transport seems unable to formally permit the use of these eco-friendly and mobility enhancing machines on Britain’s highways and byways,” Lembit says with regard to the reluctance of local councils to approve the Segway for use on pedestrian pavements.

Well if as Lembit says it is a form of transport then transport, cars, vans, lorries, buses, motor bikes and bikes all have to run on the road not the pavement. We know chavs ride their bikes on the pavement but hope that former Lib Dem MPs are not chavs. And in order that vehicles can to run on the road the driver has to be in full control at all times. Look at Lembit on his Segway. Where’s the steering wheel. OK there are handlebars sort of but the two wheels being mounted on a single axle cannot be steered. So how can anyone control them. To have chavs and nutty ex-MPs careering about the pavements on these things would terrify the more nervous pedestrian while robust types might be tempted to try a stiff arm tackle on the rider. I once saw a robust pedestrian who looked as if he might have played rugby in his youth stiff arm a pavement skateboarder. Hilarious.

Clearly then for the safety of little old ladies and pregnant women the Segway cannot be approved for use in pedestrian areas and the sight of a Segway rider wobbling and weaving along a carriageway would be just too tempting for White Van Man.

And then there is the safety of people fool enough to ride Segways. The makers claim they are perfectly safe but do you remember what happened when George W Bush tried to ride one? Well OK he was a special case but can you imagine the outcry from the Politically Correct Thought Police if we try to OK the Segway but exclude special needs people from riding them?

But it is not only those with special needs who are at risk from The Segway. Have a look at these Segway disasters.

Sorry Lembit, we don’t know how much Segway are paying you to promote their product but I hope you are not on commission because you ain’t going to sell many. Even the USP you mentioned, that they are eco friendly, is wrong. They run on electricity which from memory comprises about 2% from green sources, 30% from nuclear generators and the rest from fossil fuels. And they are made out of plastic and metal so there is a carbon footprint there which cannot be offset against the carbon footprint of growing your own feet, Segway drivers still have to grow a pair of feet because they need to stand up on their electric pogo stick transport technology.

No, the Segway should be banned, they are more useless than the Sinclair C5. Anyone who thinks of buying this oddball machine whose designers failed to recognise the advantages of front – back wheel alignment for two wheeled vehicles, should be banged up in a secure unit for the safety of themselves and others and publicity junkie ex – MPs should be offered rehabilitation.

Sadly none of that will happen. The best thing about the Segway is the price, £5000. The only people daft enough to want one and with that kind of money to spare are likely to be celebrity arseholes looking for a photo opportunity. And as we need a few less of them the Segway’s record for road and pavement safety could be an advantage.

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Road Tax Cash Spent On S & M Dominatrices.

The Labour leadership, somewhat pointlessly in view of the by election result in Norwich,is mumbling threateningly about creating new road taxes on a pay per mile basis. The plan is to to punish us for using our cars rather than the public transport that does not exist any more after twelve years of Labour incompetence. Motoring organisations and lobbyists for the car industry and oil companies have pointed out that with 70% of the price of a gallon of petrol going to the government in various taxes we are already paying per mile for our driving.

Aside from bearing the burden of punitive taxation motorists have serious concerns that money from fuel taxes and vehicle excide duty is not always spent on transport related projects.

We sent our top investigative reporting team to find out where the cash that should be paying for having potholes in roads filled in is actually going. The first items of information they sent back suggest this could be a bigger scandal than the MPs expenses debacle.

How for example does the government think it can justify the £2 million bulding an S&M dungeon in the basement of Portcullis House for use of stressed out MPs in need of rest and recuperation or paying £1million in consultancy fees to “Moats R Us” for information on embarrasing items found during the cleaning of the defensive ditch at the shadow tranpost minister’s castle.

What benefit to the taxpayer can be claimed from an item invoiced as: “Very expensive presents for Barack Obama to thank him for the crappy DVDs that will not play on a British player and to guarantee Gordon gets to stand next to him for photo ops” or the £5million spent on “special projects to keep the EU sweet so Tony can be the President of Federal Europe.”

Another puzzle is £250 million compo for the rail operators because the Transport Ministry cocked up the franchise system so badly nobody knows who runs trains to where or when. At least that is sort of transport relsted though.

And while we accept £1 billion for a public enquiry into the third runway at Heathrow the matter of £75 billion for “buying off the opponents of runway three at Heathrow because we’ve already trousered the bungs to make sure it gets built.”

At the moment the government is awaiting tenders from parties interested in providing government as a managed facility. Companies led by Messrs Campbell, Clegg, Farage and Griffin are said to be interested in taking on the duties of elected government.

This looks like another story broken by Boggart Blog that will keep news organisations ready for months.

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Labour MP’s Food Bill. Fat Cat or Fat Bastard. More Bad News For Consevatives. Some of the worst excesses from the MPs expenses scandal.

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General Motors New Puma Is Not What It Sounds Like

Recession always brings out the worst in inventors it seems. Remember the Sinclair C5, the best joke of the early 1980s recession? We were told petrol prices would go through the roof, the government would tax drivers off the roads and we were all going to be hard up forever and would not be able to afford any personal transport except these ridiculous little battery assisted tricycles. Yeah right. The Sinclair C5 was created by an ubernerd, developed and marketed at enormous cost and sold a dozens or so eager but terminally sad buyers.

Get ready for an even bigger laugh. General Motors, in a bid to recover from the embarrassment of near bankruptcy and not selling very many gas guzzling Hummers, Cadillacs and Chevolets in these hard up times after they had built such a lot have teamed up with Segway to launch the recession beating PUMA

Who are Segway?

If you have ever seen one of those Segway scooters that politician’s can’t stand up on you might get an idea of what is coming. The GM Puma is not the sporty coupe you might imagine but a hard top version of the segway scooter, a sort of mobility aid for disabled people with a weird sense of humour and suicidal tendencies.
See a video of the P.U.M.A in action at hotair.com. Would a clinically sane person be seen dead in one of these?

The machines are being marketed as the cool personal transport for the new world order. Well we would surely be surprised to see Jeremy Clarkson driving one but who actually would? Old ladies who walk with Zimmer frames, metrosexual men who have taken a vow of chastity? The Obama’s looking for a photo-opportunity?

Clive Sinclair, we recall, thought his crackpot invention would be acclaimed as cool. His mistake was trying to sell them to a generation that had grown up with Vespas and Minis.

The current generation might be about to discover how cool a second hand Ford Ka or VW beetle can be when compared to the green alternative.

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Motorway Madness

Off to pick up dear old Mum on New Year’s Eve.
M1, M62, M61, M6.
The weather was a bit naff, murky, visibility about 200yds generally, apart from a little pocket of sunshine just west of Huddersfield, it was there on the way out and it was still there on the way back, strange.
Anyway there I was cruising along, lights on, making sure I had plenty of braking distance cos the roads are full of arseholes these days, staying alert and all that, keeping myself occupied by reading the dot matrix signs.

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE

was the usual message.
That’s a bit daft, what do they think you are going to do?
“Oooh there’s an exit coming up, I could do with a break. I could pull off and pop into the nearest pub for a swift half before continuing my journey. Oh better not, that sign says don’t drink and drive. Hey ho.”

“Don’t drink and drive? Oh bugger I just had a large sherry, two glasses of wine and a G&T before I left grandma’s. Better pull onto the hard shoulder until I have metabolised that little lot.”

Then some of the signs said

FOG

Yep, it was a bit murky. You definitely needed your lights on, and travelling at 120mph could have been a bit dicey in places, but some people were still trying it.
However if you are in any way deemed competant to drive surely you don’t need telling that there is fog about.

“Oh, it’s getting a bit hard to see, better put the heater on to clear the windscreen…
No that’s not made it any better, oh hang on, it could be my glasses, give them a wipe, whey, not easy keeping it straight with your knee, whilst you give the old specs a quick buff…
There, that’s better..oh no, it isn’t.
Is someone smoking in here? No there’s only me. Hmmn what can it be? Looks like it’s outside actually. Windscreen need washing? No that’s not it.
Garden fire? Smouldering remains of a dead human at the side of the motorway? I just don’t know.
Oh hang on, that sign says F. O. G. F O G fog? fog! that’s it, that’s why I can’t see very well. Good grief I’m glad they told me, that would have worried me for the rest of the journey!”

When it’s wet the signs show the message

SPRAY

Talk about stating the bleeding obvious.
How thick do they think the average driver is? Don’t answer that!

If they want to tell us about something why don’t they say, “Put your bloody lights on you arsehole, haven’t you ever read the highway code? You may know where you are going but it would be nice to let the other road-users know that you are coming up in the outside lane at 120mph, don’t you think?”

However the ones I like best say

J32 10 MILES 10 Minutes

If that isn’t a challenge I don’t know what is!

(A shade over 9 mins if you are interested)

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Check out this Comic Verse from Ian
The Greatest Love